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The Watercooler
6 months from now...
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 508049" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>((((HUGS))))</p><p></p><p>Oh he did not just say that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p><p></p><p>So sorry, Sweety. been there done that. Took me 2-3 years to trust my husband again after he betrayed that trust. And the fault wasn't mine, it was his. True, I was unable to forgive him fully, but he wasn't allowing me to, by behaving in the same old ways and being disrespectful to my feelings. Once he FINALLY started <strong>respecting </strong>my pain that's when the healing began. </p><p></p><p>I do believe counseling is worth a shot, if he's willing. Because, yeah, sounds like he needs to do some serious "work". It's not simply about him being "nice" or even "behaving", it's about him being respectful to you as his wife. Currently, it seems, as if he views you as his warden who he has to obey as opposed to his partner who he needs to rebuild trust with.</p><p></p><p>Even if he does do the work that is necessary, you may find that you are unable to forgive. THEN, it's on you. It's not a flaw, but that deep of a wound.</p><p></p><p>((((HUGS))))</p><p></p><p>I hope he tries, I hope you can work things out, but if it doesn't go that way, you're not giving up, you're moving on, and the freedom that comes with that is priceless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 508049, member: 11965"] ((((HUGS)))) Oh he did not just say that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So sorry, Sweety. been there done that. Took me 2-3 years to trust my husband again after he betrayed that trust. And the fault wasn't mine, it was his. True, I was unable to forgive him fully, but he wasn't allowing me to, by behaving in the same old ways and being disrespectful to my feelings. Once he FINALLY started [B]respecting [/B]my pain that's when the healing began. I do believe counseling is worth a shot, if he's willing. Because, yeah, sounds like he needs to do some serious "work". It's not simply about him being "nice" or even "behaving", it's about him being respectful to you as his wife. Currently, it seems, as if he views you as his warden who he has to obey as opposed to his partner who he needs to rebuild trust with. Even if he does do the work that is necessary, you may find that you are unable to forgive. THEN, it's on you. It's not a flaw, but that deep of a wound. ((((HUGS)))) I hope he tries, I hope you can work things out, but if it doesn't go that way, you're not giving up, you're moving on, and the freedom that comes with that is priceless. [/QUOTE]
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