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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 508173" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Momof5 - </p><p></p><p>First of all - Huge Hugs. Men! Argh! Don't they make you just want to run screaming like your hair is on fire with some of the things they say some times? Macho, bravado - can I say retardo here? (it was the first thing that came to mind ending in O) Probaby should have ended in aye Yi Yi.......but I get the feeling hes not Hispanic. Then again if I make references to eyes? You may just wanna poke him in one of them right now and well - battery is battery. But seriously - </p><p></p><p>Some things? Are worth giving consideration to. I guess in your heart.....which is seriously wounded right now? It sure doesn't seem like the man deserves more than six months to get his affairs in order. Oh bad choices of words. Get his poop together. Then I guess I would ask - How many sides are there to a relationship? See everyone has a part to play and a lot of times when we think we've done absolutely NOTHING wrong - well maybe we haven't. But perception on someone elses part - could be different. He went somewhere - why? Okay logic would dictate (to most women) because he is just an (see my icon) but is it something else? Does he have a problem like addiction, compulsion? Maybe it wasn't ANYTHING at all to do with YOU? (Sounds lame but not you it's me) could apply. Is there still love here? Of course there isn't trust here - but what about love? If he would bounce back and be 100% perfect would you consider keeping him and loving him and staying with him? What would be wrong with that? What do you NOT like about him? Maybe there are things that BECAUSE of the affair you've become OVERLY tense about and you have a right to have your feelings but not beat a dead horse over. (Yes I'm on your side here that's why I'm telling you this) - People make mistakes. Learning HOW to forgive for some of us - doesn't come naturally - and a lot of us need to get help - a mediator.....someone impartial to see EVERY SIDE of the story - YOURS HIS and the middle of the road where you can both meet and love each other again. </p><p>I'm not pro-divorce, but I'm not pro-miserable either. I took my vows seriously - and I stuck out 13 torturous abusive years. I worried so much about what God would think - what my family would think - what if I divorced him and in reality I was still married to him - I mean weird things like that still floated in my head. I got LOADS of counseling - nearly two years before I left THAT monster. I had one son. I got domestic violence counseling, I got individual counseling, I got pastoral counseling......I mean before I ended this vow I made - I wanted to be sure there was NO fixing it - and trust me after 41 affairs, drugs, battery, torture, rape, kidnapping, stabbing, and child endangerment - you'd think I'd have gone screaming to divorce court. I just went in quiet in a bullet proof vest. No joke. So did my attorney. </p><p></p><p>So before you just up and jump into the I hate you - apartment - which by the way - won't ever get any better in your life just because you are iwthout him? Do yourself a HUGE HUGE favor and get into therapy for YOU. If you can get him to go? Awesome. If not? Oh well - go for YOU!!!!!!!! You'll find out a LOT about a LOT about you. You're wonderful, and you have yet to figure that out -----and as far as he goes? Well if he was happy with himself? he woudln't be writing things about you like he is.....So he's not exactly happy either. (either) ......got it? I think it would be beneficial for you BOTH (like as in all seven) .......</p><p>Can't hurt. </p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>POnder it.....</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 508173, member: 4964"] Momof5 - First of all - Huge Hugs. Men! Argh! Don't they make you just want to run screaming like your hair is on fire with some of the things they say some times? Macho, bravado - can I say retardo here? (it was the first thing that came to mind ending in O) Probaby should have ended in aye Yi Yi.......but I get the feeling hes not Hispanic. Then again if I make references to eyes? You may just wanna poke him in one of them right now and well - battery is battery. But seriously - Some things? Are worth giving consideration to. I guess in your heart.....which is seriously wounded right now? It sure doesn't seem like the man deserves more than six months to get his affairs in order. Oh bad choices of words. Get his poop together. Then I guess I would ask - How many sides are there to a relationship? See everyone has a part to play and a lot of times when we think we've done absolutely NOTHING wrong - well maybe we haven't. But perception on someone elses part - could be different. He went somewhere - why? Okay logic would dictate (to most women) because he is just an (see my icon) but is it something else? Does he have a problem like addiction, compulsion? Maybe it wasn't ANYTHING at all to do with YOU? (Sounds lame but not you it's me) could apply. Is there still love here? Of course there isn't trust here - but what about love? If he would bounce back and be 100% perfect would you consider keeping him and loving him and staying with him? What would be wrong with that? What do you NOT like about him? Maybe there are things that BECAUSE of the affair you've become OVERLY tense about and you have a right to have your feelings but not beat a dead horse over. (Yes I'm on your side here that's why I'm telling you this) - People make mistakes. Learning HOW to forgive for some of us - doesn't come naturally - and a lot of us need to get help - a mediator.....someone impartial to see EVERY SIDE of the story - YOURS HIS and the middle of the road where you can both meet and love each other again. I'm not pro-divorce, but I'm not pro-miserable either. I took my vows seriously - and I stuck out 13 torturous abusive years. I worried so much about what God would think - what my family would think - what if I divorced him and in reality I was still married to him - I mean weird things like that still floated in my head. I got LOADS of counseling - nearly two years before I left THAT monster. I had one son. I got domestic violence counseling, I got individual counseling, I got pastoral counseling......I mean before I ended this vow I made - I wanted to be sure there was NO fixing it - and trust me after 41 affairs, drugs, battery, torture, rape, kidnapping, stabbing, and child endangerment - you'd think I'd have gone screaming to divorce court. I just went in quiet in a bullet proof vest. No joke. So did my attorney. So before you just up and jump into the I hate you - apartment - which by the way - won't ever get any better in your life just because you are iwthout him? Do yourself a HUGE HUGE favor and get into therapy for YOU. If you can get him to go? Awesome. If not? Oh well - go for YOU!!!!!!!! You'll find out a LOT about a LOT about you. You're wonderful, and you have yet to figure that out -----and as far as he goes? Well if he was happy with himself? he woudln't be writing things about you like he is.....So he's not exactly happy either. (either) ......got it? I think it would be beneficial for you BOTH (like as in all seven) ....... Can't hurt. Hugs & Love POnder it..... Star [/QUOTE]
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