6 year old with adhd and destructive behavior... help please!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by kittyfrog, Apr 30, 2011.

  1. kittyfrog

    kittyfrog New Member

    My six year old son has been diagnosed with ADHD. We recently moved and he started his 4th school for this year. Here over the past 2 weeks he has ran out of his medication and has been showing some very disturbing behavior. He has taken his destruction to a whole new level. He now tears apart his classroom, destroys books and other children's belongings. The teacher can't handle him anymore and now they shuttle him around to the guidance councilor and a special needs teacher until they can't handle him and then they send him home. Friday he was at school for two hours and he proceeded to threaten to run away from school and snatch chairs from under other students. He is starting to hit other kids at school too. We took his tv and toys and asked him to stay in his room when he wasn't doing chores and he started peeling the paint off of his doors. I am going crazy. I don't know what else to do with him. We have tried every punishment we know of. He is currently sitting in a corner near me with his hands on top of his head so he can't mess anything up. Does anybody have any ideas or suggestions because I am just tired of punishing him all the time. Me and my husband feel like failures. We would welcome any help anyone can give us.
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Hi Kitty, welcome to board! Glad you found us, sorry you had to. I'm amazed you can get him to sit still with his hands on his head, I can't get Kiddo to that. We're going to have lots of questions for you to kind of get an idea of things, but you're not a failure (or you wouldn't be here looking for help), and you're not alone.
    Signatures help us know and remember things about each other. Mine tells you how old my kid is, what her diagnoses are, and what medications she's currently on. It also tells you that mine is an only child, and there's only the two of us in our household.
    Have you read Ross Greene's The Explosive Child? If not, grab it, your library should have it, and it's available online as an ebook if you want it like NOW. Great starting place. And like any advice you'll find in books or on the board, take what works for you, and don't worry about what doesn't work. No one method works for every family.

    How long has your son been like this? Has he been tested by a neuropsychologist? Is ADHD his only diagnosis? Does he have an IEP? Is moving the reason for so many schools in such a short period of time, or were some schools not a good fit for him? Has he been checked for food sensitivities? Some kids do better on diets without certain things, with other kids it makes no difference. Testing and trial and error there. Have you kept a behavior log? Write down what he eats when, what time he got up, went to sleep, great moods, nasty moods, what seemed to trigger an incident, etc.
    You said he ran out of his medications. What medication(s) was he on, did they help, and can you get him back on them if they did help?

    Others will be along with more questions and suggestions, hang in there!
  3. cassiemoun

    cassiemoun New Member

    I can tell you from our own experience that when my children were off stimulants, (in the mornings, evenings and if we'd ever forget medications) they were completely out of control. Much more ADHD then they ever were before they started ADHD medications in the first place. It's called rebound and for us, it was MAJOR. It was one of the major reasons we switched to a non-stuimulant (though, I will say the stimulants helped with- fine motor control, focus and organization better!)

    Also, from personal experience, I can tell you that when kids can do better, they do do better. In other words, your child isn't trying to make you upset and frustrated. That is where he is at right now. Being positive and encouraging goes further than being punitive and punishing, though I know that's not easy to do! When he's being really intense with his energy, get him outside, bring him somewhere (swimming, the beach, the woods) where he isn't going to have to follow too many rules and have a lot of self disipline.

    One question, How long has he been at this school? Have they done an evulation? Does he have an IEP?
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Kittyfrog,

    As HaoZi said we often have lots of questions at first. Who diagnosed your son with ADHD? Was it a pediatrician? A multidisciplinary approach is often best. a child psychiatrist, a neuro-psychologist, and a child psychologist are all good to have evaluate your child.

    It does sound like he may need an IEP at school. They also may need to do a functional behavioral analysis (FBA) and then develop a behavioral intervention plan (BIP). You have the right to request that the IEP happen.

    Just wondering, starting 4 new schools in a year is a lot; will he now be able to stay at this school?

    Punishments for my difficult child never really helped much until we had him stabilized (at least as much as possible) on medications. Please don't feel like a failure. You are obviously trying to find help for your son. I do agree that The Explosive Child is a great book to read.

    Come to our site often, we are glad to have you as part of the family, and really, this place is a soft place to land and can be a real life saver. Hugs.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board :)

    Can you please share more information on your son? How was his early development (speech, motor skills, eye contact). Does he get along with his same age peers? Are there any psychiatric disorders or substance abuse on both sides of his GENETIC family tree? What kind of childhood has he had so far? Any siblings? How is he with them? How does he do academic-wise in school.

    Is he better on medications? Who diagnosed hiim? Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist?
  6. kittyfrog

    kittyfrog New Member

    Thanks for all the suggestions and questions. I just multi-quoted all of your messages and answered all the question as best as I could. I'm not sure how to go about getting him to see a neuropsychologist, but it has been suggested to me recently by his school social worker.

    Thanks again for the book suggestion :)