6 year old with adhd and destructive behavior... help please!

[kittyfrog]

My six year old son has been diagnosed with ADHD. We recently moved and he started his 4th school for this year. Here over the past 2 weeks he has ran out of his medication and has been showing some very disturbing behavior. He has taken his destruction to a whole new level. He now tears apart his classroom, destroys books and other children's belongings. The teacher can't handle him anymore and now they shuttle him around to the guidance councilor and a special needs teacher until they can't handle him and then they send him home. Friday he was at school for two hours and he proceeded to threaten to run away from school and snatch chairs from under other students. He is starting to hit other kids at school too. We took his tv and toys and asked him to stay in his room when he wasn't doing chores and he started peeling the paint off of his doors. I am going crazy. I don't know what else to do with him. We have tried every punishment we know of. He is currently sitting in a corner near me with his hands on top of his head so he can't mess anything up. Does anybody have any ideas or suggestions because I am just tired of punishing him all the time. Me and my husband feel like failures. We would welcome any help anyone can give us.

 

[HaoZi]

Hi Kitty, welcome to board! Glad you found us, sorry you had to. I'm amazed you can get him to sit still with his hands on his head, I can't get Kiddo to that. We're going to have lots of questions for you to kind of get an idea of things, but you're not a failure (or you wouldn't be here looking for help), and you're not alone.
Signatures help us know and remember things about each other. Mine tells you how old my kid is, what her diagnoses are, and what medications she's currently on. It also tells you that mine is an only child, and there's only the two of us in our household.
Have you read Ross Greene's The Explosive Child? If not, grab it, your library should have it, and it's available online as an ebook if you want it like NOW. Great starting place. And like any advice you'll find in books or on the board, take what works for you, and don't worry about what doesn't work. No one method works for every family.

How long has your son been like this? Has he been tested by a neuropsychologist? Is ADHD his only diagnosis? Does he have an IEP? Is moving the reason for so many schools in such a short period of time, or were some schools not a good fit for him? Has he been checked for food sensitivities? Some kids do better on diets without certain things, with other kids it makes no difference. Testing and trial and error there. Have you kept a behavior log? Write down what he eats when, what time he got up, went to sleep, great moods, nasty moods, what seemed to trigger an incident, etc.
You said he ran out of his medications. What medication(s) was he on, did they help, and can you get him back on them if they did help?

Others will be along with more questions and suggestions, hang in there!

 

[cassiemoun]

I can tell you from our own experience that when my children were off stimulants, (in the mornings, evenings and if we'd ever forget medications) they were completely out of control. Much more ADHD then they ever were before they started ADHD medications in the first place. It's called rebound and for us, it was MAJOR. It was one of the major reasons we switched to a non-stuimulant (though, I will say the stimulants helped with- fine motor control, focus and organization better!)

Also, from personal experience, I can tell you that when kids can do better, they do do better. In other words, your child isn't trying to make you upset and frustrated. That is where he is at right now. Being positive and encouraging goes further than being punitive and punishing, though I know that's not easy to do! When he's being really intense with his energy, get him outside, bring him somewhere (swimming, the beach, the woods) where he isn't going to have to follow too many rules and have a lot of self disipline.

One question, How long has he been at this school? Have they done an evulation? Does he have an IEP?

 

[Wiped Out]

Welcome Kittyfrog,

As HaoZi said we often have lots of questions at first. Who diagnosed your son with ADHD? Was it a pediatrician? A multidisciplinary approach is often best. a child psychiatrist, a neuro-psychologist, and a child psychologist are all good to have evaluate your child.

It does sound like he may need an IEP at school. They also may need to do a functional behavioral analysis (FBA) and then develop a behavioral intervention plan (BIP). You have the right to request that the IEP happen.

Just wondering, starting 4 new schools in a year is a lot; will he now be able to stay at this school?

Punishments for my difficult child never really helped much until we had him stabilized (at least as much as possible) on medications. Please don't feel like a failure. You are obviously trying to find help for your son. I do agree that The Explosive Child is a great book to read.

Come to our site often, we are glad to have you as part of the family, and really, this place is a soft place to land and can be a real life saver. Hugs.

 

[BusynMember]

Welcome to the board

Can you please share more information on your son? How was his early development (speech, motor skills, eye contact). Does he get along with his same age peers? Are there any psychiatric disorders or substance abuse on both sides of his GENETIC family tree? What kind of childhood has he had so far? Any siblings? How is he with them? How does he do academic-wise in school.

Is he better on medications? Who diagnosed hiim? Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist?

 

[kittyfrog]

Thanks for all the suggestions and questions. I just multi-quoted all of your messages and answered all the question as best as I could. I'm not sure how to go about getting him to see a neuropsychologist, but it has been suggested to me recently by his school social worker.

I'm amazed you can get him to sit still with his hands on his head.... I have to really stay on him about it he wants to keep moving around or take his hands off his head. I haven't read that book but will be picking it up soon. Thanks for the suggestion!


How long has your son been like this? We really noticed it in preschool.

Has he been tested by a neuropsychologist? No. He has saw a psychiatric, but it was just for a diagnosis. His Peds doctor did all the trial and error helping us find a medicine that works for him.

Is ADHD his only diagnosis? Yes. The psychiatric says he has some symptoms of asperger's and suggested he be retested in a year.

Does he have an IEP? No. He has never stayed at a school long enough for a teacher to develop one and implement it.

Is moving the reason for so many schools in such a short period of time, or were some schools not a good fit for him? The first move was because he was in school with my best friend's son and after a few weeks he started acting strange and fighting us about going to school {peeing on himself making himself sick ect} Turned out my friend's husband was volunteering up there and it was scaring my baby because over that summer he molested my son and he was terrified he was gonna "Get him" if he told or that he was going to do it again. The rest of them were due to moves.

Has he been checked for food sensitivities? No he hasn't

Have you kept a behavior log? No I haven't, but I will try it so I have something to show his new doctor once we get one.

What medication(s) was he on, did they help, and can you get him back on them if they did help? He was on adderall and it really did help him, but me and my hubby are unemployed right now and are waiting on Medicaid to pick the kids' insurance back up so we can get him to a doctor and back on the medications.

One question, How long has he been at this school? Have they done an evulation? Does he have an IEP? He's only been there for a month and they don't seem to be equipped to deal with a child with behavior and ADHD issues. They just take him out of class & bring him to the principal or guidance councilor who lets him draw pictures and stuff til I can come get him.

Who diagnosed your son with ADHD? His pediatrician & then a child psychologist re-evaluated and confirmed his diagnosis.

Just wondering, starting 4 new schools in a year is a lot; will he now be able to stay at this school? He will be at this school for at least the next school year. after that we will have to move wherever my husband will be stationed at. My husband is a new solider and I was just medically retired out of the Army.

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How was his early development (speech, motor skills, eye contact). He did fine with all those. He was always right on target with his age group.

Does he get along with his same age peers? No. He is painfully shy with other children, and once he acts out the other kids are mean to him, pick on him, or just don't want to have anything to do with him.

Are there any psychiatric disorders or substance abuse on both sides of his GENETIC family tree? I have depression, bi-polar, alcoholic and PTSD issues. His dad has ADD. I don't know anything about my birth family and my husband's family acts like no one in their family has problems.

What kind of childhood has he had so far? I will say it has been rough for him. We have moved a ton, me and my husband had split up a lot in the beginning of my army career and there was a lot of times when his dad was gone I would just drink myself stupid to forget I was hurting. On top of that he was with babysitters and daycares from 5am to 6 or 7 pm if I was lucky enough to leave the hospital I worked at by then. Me and husband have stayed together for the past 3 years with no splits and that has seemed to help him a lot.

Any siblings? How is he with them? He has 2 younger brothers. He does good with them most of the time. He has the normal issues about not wanting the 2 year old in his room and stuff like that. He's very helpful with the baby and loves to hold him and talk to him.

How does he do academic-wise in school. He is actually very far behind due to the moves and the massive load of days he has been out. he will be repeating kindergarten next year.

Is he better on medications? Yes. He is so well behaved when he is on his medications.

Who diagnosed hiim? His pediatrician & then a child psychologist re-evaluated and confirmed his diagnosis.

Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist? No he hasn't.

Thanks again for the book suggestion