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6yr old...can't get diagnosis
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 340325" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The fairness issue - that also very definitely fits with Asperger's. Oh, yes indeedy...</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, it does seem unhelpful - but I think it would have been more unhelpful for the doctor to say nothing and keep his thoughts about possibilities to himself.</p><p></p><p>The trouble with diagnosing anything complex, and I include Asperger's in this, is that it is very inexact. it also takes time, and has to go through various stages. For example, somewhere along the line you will be asked about the history of their speech and language development - were they on schedule? Was there anything unusual about how they began to talk? You also will need a psychometric assessment done at some stage, preferably not merely one done by the local school, because what they need requires a lot more attention to detail than schools have the resources for. But a school assessment can be used as a starting point.</p><p></p><p>Somewhere in there you need the Occupational Therapist (OT) assessments (for the Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)) and other relevant professionals also putting in their oar.</p><p></p><p>And then, only then, will all the professional ideas be able to be gathered together into one pot. That is when someone like the doctor who has been saying, "spectrum-ish," has at last all the information needed to be able to say, "Yes, definitely on the autism spectrum," or "no, definitely not because of A, B and C."</p><p></p><p>It took us several years to get all this together and finally see the people we needed to see. And even then, wee were needing to get the diagnosis challenged and independently reviewed. For three kids. It was hairy.</p><p></p><p>So what do you do in the meantime?</p><p></p><p>1) Read the Book. Explosive Child. It helps. Boy, does it help! With easy child kids too, as well as difficult children. Especially if your kids are really into "fairness" and also are very frustrated with short fuses, those methods will make a big difference. It's not a cure, mind, it just makes it easier for your boys to learn how to mesh in with other people and their requirements.</p><p></p><p>2) If you want your own unofficial idea of how spectrum-ish your kids are, then do the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire on <a href="http://www.childbrain.com" target="_blank">www.childbrain.com</a>. Print out the result whatever it scores and take it with you to appointments. It can speed things up a bit.</p><p></p><p>3) Follow your instincts. Get inside your kids' heads and try to think form their point of view. Use that as your starting point. Anything they're interested in - give them more of it. Whatever they need - give it to them (within reason, don't beggar yourself). Use it to help ease them into what you want for them. But we went years accommodating the different food faddishness, only occasionally challenging but without making it a huge issue. The safer the kids felt, the more we got out of them in terms of cooperation on the occasions when I had to insist. There are techniques you can learn, even work out for yourself. Keep them interested, keep them stimulated, keep their minds working constantly. Find ways to help them with what is difficult. When you get criticised for their bad behaviour or bad parenting, ignore it. Your kids are different and won't fit into the box, so try to shape the box around them that they need and work from there.</p><p></p><p>We have developed a lot of little things that worked for us in different situations. But the general principle is - avoid punishment. Use positive motivation instead. Lots of rewards. Consistency. Organisation. Routine. And the occasional challenge, as far as they can handle it.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3's Grade 1 teacher had twin boys, identical, ONE with autism and ADHD, the other not.</p><p></p><p>One last thing - don't believe what you are told about how they will always be dependent, always need you, never amount to much. Nobody can tell you this because nobody can know this. Have faith, and live as if that faith has already borne fruit. That gives them the best chance. The high IQ is what helps these kids adapt. difficult child 3 called it "pretending to be normal." It's the best description of how these kids have to learn to cope, lifelong. </p><p></p><p>Recently difficult child 3 was asked by a news crew (the link is somewhere floating around - Google "Sunday Night", "Channel 7" and look for "autism solutions") if he ever wished he didn't have autism. The answer is no. He is happy being who and what he is. He sees his autism as giving him a few problems, but also giving him gifts and talents that other people can only dream of.</p><p></p><p>That's ma boy!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 340325, member: 1991"] The fairness issue - that also very definitely fits with Asperger's. Oh, yes indeedy... Yes, it does seem unhelpful - but I think it would have been more unhelpful for the doctor to say nothing and keep his thoughts about possibilities to himself. The trouble with diagnosing anything complex, and I include Asperger's in this, is that it is very inexact. it also takes time, and has to go through various stages. For example, somewhere along the line you will be asked about the history of their speech and language development - were they on schedule? Was there anything unusual about how they began to talk? You also will need a psychometric assessment done at some stage, preferably not merely one done by the local school, because what they need requires a lot more attention to detail than schools have the resources for. But a school assessment can be used as a starting point. Somewhere in there you need the Occupational Therapist (OT) assessments (for the Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)) and other relevant professionals also putting in their oar. And then, only then, will all the professional ideas be able to be gathered together into one pot. That is when someone like the doctor who has been saying, "spectrum-ish," has at last all the information needed to be able to say, "Yes, definitely on the autism spectrum," or "no, definitely not because of A, B and C." It took us several years to get all this together and finally see the people we needed to see. And even then, wee were needing to get the diagnosis challenged and independently reviewed. For three kids. It was hairy. So what do you do in the meantime? 1) Read the Book. Explosive Child. It helps. Boy, does it help! With easy child kids too, as well as difficult children. Especially if your kids are really into "fairness" and also are very frustrated with short fuses, those methods will make a big difference. It's not a cure, mind, it just makes it easier for your boys to learn how to mesh in with other people and their requirements. 2) If you want your own unofficial idea of how spectrum-ish your kids are, then do the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire on [url]www.childbrain.com[/url]. Print out the result whatever it scores and take it with you to appointments. It can speed things up a bit. 3) Follow your instincts. Get inside your kids' heads and try to think form their point of view. Use that as your starting point. Anything they're interested in - give them more of it. Whatever they need - give it to them (within reason, don't beggar yourself). Use it to help ease them into what you want for them. But we went years accommodating the different food faddishness, only occasionally challenging but without making it a huge issue. The safer the kids felt, the more we got out of them in terms of cooperation on the occasions when I had to insist. There are techniques you can learn, even work out for yourself. Keep them interested, keep them stimulated, keep their minds working constantly. Find ways to help them with what is difficult. When you get criticised for their bad behaviour or bad parenting, ignore it. Your kids are different and won't fit into the box, so try to shape the box around them that they need and work from there. We have developed a lot of little things that worked for us in different situations. But the general principle is - avoid punishment. Use positive motivation instead. Lots of rewards. Consistency. Organisation. Routine. And the occasional challenge, as far as they can handle it. difficult child 3's Grade 1 teacher had twin boys, identical, ONE with autism and ADHD, the other not. One last thing - don't believe what you are told about how they will always be dependent, always need you, never amount to much. Nobody can tell you this because nobody can know this. Have faith, and live as if that faith has already borne fruit. That gives them the best chance. The high IQ is what helps these kids adapt. difficult child 3 called it "pretending to be normal." It's the best description of how these kids have to learn to cope, lifelong. Recently difficult child 3 was asked by a news crew (the link is somewhere floating around - Google "Sunday Night", "Channel 7" and look for "autism solutions") if he ever wished he didn't have autism. The answer is no. He is happy being who and what he is. He sees his autism as giving him a few problems, but also giving him gifts and talents that other people can only dream of. That's ma boy! Marg [/QUOTE]
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