7 year old Having Tantrum Over Spilt PopCorn - Normal?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Confused, Nov 8, 2013.

  1. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Please inform me if I am wrong here about the age and tantrums. I opened the car door not knowing he had a bag of popcorn leaning against it and the Popcorn fell on the floor spilling out most of it. He yelled at me that he told me to wait but I honestly did not hear him say that or anything except fighting with his sis and him stuffing a nacho in his mouth. Well, he threw seat belt ( I told him I will buy him a new one as soon as we finish at his Cub Scout store)off ran in house screaming slammed door, kicked door screaming bloody murder and I CAN hear him houses down. He came out and yelled he "wanted that one" and he's hungry and ran in room slamming door kicking it still screaming bloody murder..

    So far its been almost 30 minutes of this.... Is this normal for his age? Thanks
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Normal maybe to be disappointed at first. Not to react to that extent, especially when you promised to buy him another bag. I'm so sorry he is still having trouble and that you are stressed.

    Remember to breathe! You are strong and will get through this.
  3. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Ok thanks :) I am just wanting to make sure the difference of ' normal" and not so normal because I dont want to over-think! Im breathing and am ok. He even stuck his head out the window yelling POLICE!! Yikes hes obsessed with them! Well, today I up his Clonidine to three x a day as the Dr prescribed( still only one pill just cut up for 3x a day). I have been thinking about how to handle all my stress and I have made a major decision!!

    Once I get a job, I can pay a caregiver to help me out with my son in the mornings and when I work ...if Im not teaching will hire that person or day care for summer.( Grandpa will add another caregiver he said and my father if he needs one can hopefully get a dr prescript for one) Hopefully he will be calm by then! So anyway, after we get family therapy which I plan to stay in for a long time, I will meanwhile get back into school and get my degrees in ( finish Teaching degree one year), Psychology and one day I would like to start a support group where I live for kids and parents with different problems. Hopefully! So he will be busy with his sis and I volunteering at the Shelters as well next year. I am also looking into a Therapy dog for my kids... I read it can help a little!!!! Wish me luck please!!! You always do anyway :)

    The saying goes: "God only gives us what we can handle" I don't know bout that because the deaths of my family esp way to early is what I will never understand.. and some other things like the past men in my life.. ( not saying Im perfect) but I still ask "Why" but.... I have to just get stronger... confidence right?
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Confused...you have a great plan.

    I hope you enjoy your weekend. Taking one day at a time or even one moment at a time has helped me a lot. Hugs! :)
  5. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Confused something stood out to me on your post, a simple word, "popcorn". The reason is because my son mr busy has a corn allergy which makes him angry/violent and will rage. Corn and it's derivative is in so many foods. Clonidine will not help this. In fact we found most medications would not. Although after so many years (he is about to turn 15) Xyprexa instant melts will suppress it within about 20 minutes to a duller roar for a bit but sometimes can also have a rebound effect too. Have you ever thought about getting him tested for food allegies? I will warn you that a lot of allergist won't hear you when you speak about behavioral reactions but there are a small few who will. That won't matter so long as they will at least do the testing, and they will if you just simply ask for it. Another way you can do this testing on a different level at home before you get the actual proof from a doctor is to try this: give him a lollipop. It's pure corn syrup! Wait about 20 minutes and then try asking him something he objects to and see his reaction. See if he does the raging and stuff. I have not only my son but my oldest daughter who had the allergy although she was able to out grow hers by the time she was 11. I think hers was at a far lower level and she could ingest more then he can. His is severe and his body can not tolerate ANY kind or derivative of it. Reactions can be as quick as 20 minutes after or up to 72 hours after and does have a lot to do with how much and what kind, depending on how bad the child has it. It's just a thought for you as I said. I saw popcorn and then the rage so I related it to what happens with my son (and my daughter in her younger years) and though maybe this could be something going on with your child too. It's a possible answer. It's not a great one as there is no "fix" but at least you'd know what you're up against and could potentially limit the foods and it would help. Oh and my son could hold it together at school as well and with certain people too at times. So it's not so odd to me. I hope you find some answers. and some help.
  6. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Thanks MidwestMom :)

    Tiapet- At least you know now about your kids allergies, foods can have their issues. Hopefully things get better for you all too :) I am trying to stick with the no sugar, dyes etc diet and than slowly bring it back to test. Interesting about the lolipop! My sons tantrums/ violence seem to be over anything an can happen like a light switch so I do need to make sure food is not adding to it. Yes, Dr's really have their ways of thinking sometimes. Thats like they blood tested my son for regular allergies- grass, weeds etc and all negative. But yet, when hes in it he has allergies!! I bet if they did that old fashioned test where they actually put them all on your arm it would show! I had that and boy was I itchy lol. Well, thanks again, I will definitely look into the food even closer! Thanks for understanding :)
  7. M0M

    M0M New Member

    Well...kids and adults will do this regardless of age. If he were in my house and he slammed my door or disrespected me, I'd have him walk back out, change his tone, and try again and again and again until he got it right. Things can wait and popcorn can be replaced. No it will not be replaced if he disrespects me or his other family members. He needs time out and consequences. There is no reason to rage and that needs to be directed in a more reasonable way. Mom says..."Have you tried using your words first?" Son..."YES!!! You ignored me! and that made me mad!!!, now I lost my popcorn (BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!!!!)!!!" Of course... Mom..."So sorry son, I could not hear your words over your kicking and screaming with your sister. Maybe in the future if you want me to hear the both of you, you should not kick and scream in the back seat. In fact, when you do kick in scream it distracts my driving which has far worse consequences. So next time, remember, fighting in the car has more than one consequence." Mom says... "This time I will NOT replace your popcorn, and I will NOT replace anything after you rage. Once you show me you are trying to make a change in how you direct your anger, it is then that I will reward you. That is because I love you and this is what parents do." Son says...."I HATE YOU!!! Slams door!" Mom..."I love you, and you can come out of your room when you are ready to apologize and show respect." one hour later after a battle to keep him in his room.... he should come out humbled, maybe a little resentful, but capable of an apology. ODD or ADHD or just plain STUBBORN... even this works on me. :)
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    MOM... you're new around here, and I don't know what your background is. But... a LOT of us have kids with the kind of challenges that make this approach backfire.

    My kids are now in HS, I'm past this age and stage, lived through it. I used to believe that kids "do well when they want to"... and tried to find ways to make them want to... and it backfired horribly, consistently, and with increasing intensity.

    I found out that "kids do well when they CAN", and started to get to the root of the problems... and we are having considerable success. Roots of problems are things like sleep issues, being bullied at school, developmental differences, social skills gaps, physical challenges (like Auditory Processing Disorders (APD), for example) that haven't been caught or accommodated, an un-accommodating teacher.....
  9. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Thank you MOM, I understand what your suggesting and I grew up that way as well! My daughter could follow this way ( never really got that bad anyways tantrums yes but not like my son) but my son is another story. I would love for that to work! Yes, I agree with you that where we went.. could of waited that night. Other days it cant.

    InsaneCdn, Its tough to get out of that thinking, me, I know I struggle but do know even my son knows he needs help( admits to distraction, all the adhd part anyway) temper, well, still not any his fault he says. Good point!
  10. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Well, as far as I'm concerned, it's the whole point, isn't it? Our kids don't respond to conventional parenting techniques.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I really don't believe that young children act out as much as your son does just because he's stubborn. You're on the right track and normal parenting, as Malika said, does not work for our kids. It is not just your son. It is any differently wired child. That's what makes it so darn hard to raise them. It is not how we parent them...it is that they resist parenting no matter how we stand our ground. (((Hugs)))!!!

    Mom, perhaps you'd like to share your story with us in another thread. We'd love to hear it!!:)