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Substance Abuse
8 weeks ago she was my daughter...I feel like I dont know her now
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<blockquote data-quote="MommaMella" data-source="post: 705793" data-attributes="member: 21255"><p>Thank you all. Got her to the appointment this morning. Only because we told her if she didnt go we would not take her to school (We can play the lying game too). She never admitted this out loud but we knew the ONLY reason she wanted to go to school was for DemonBoy and friend and shes had zero contact -been grounded without phone/laptop etc - since Sat night. Overall we were satisfied with the experience at the new counsellor office though we only spoke to intake counsellor there, next appointment with actual therapist isnt until wednesday. They did drug test her. We didnt warn her and she was pretty unhappy about it. She tried the "I cant go in front of someone" routine and so we said we could not leave until she did. Stayed over an extra hour just sitting and she tried every 20 minutes until she did finally. Never made it to school because of this. Oops. Not sure if that was real stage fright or just dragging it out hoping she'd win and we'd leave. She gets her stubborness from me but I can be the Queen of Stubborn for something this serious. Results tomorrow. This counselling office is also where alot of people of all ages on parole or otherwise court ordered, have to come in and drug test. daughter seemed a bit shellshocked just being in the waiting room with people coming in to "drop" for their "PO". Learned a lot sitting there. Felt a little guilty for being secretly glad she was uncomfortable witnessing this. The intake counselor didnt tell us too much but did say she does not think daughter is at all safe with DemonBoy. She basically said its an abusive relationship, physically and psychologically and daughter is behaving like an abused spouse. We made an appointment to meet with School Counselor,the Drama Teacher (because Demonboy is in the school musical) and the School Resource Officer and we are going to let them know we do not want daughter near him...and see what they say. (The school has been supportive all along the way thus far but up until now we were approaching this from a mental health standpoint and not drugs/alcohol.) They may want her to leave the district. We open enrolled her there because we felt at the time it was a better school than our home district. Guess we will see... I doubt after all this she will be accepted next year. Its too bad because it really is the better school with better programs and opportunities. So this afternoon when we got home she started with a decent attitude. Husband commented that she was being unusually nice - I said she wants something, just wait. So tonight she asked for her phone. I said no. She asked why? I said because you are grounded and you know that. She said what does that have to do with my phone. I said you basically broke every single promise you made to us last week and we explained the consequences if you were to then so now you live with them. She started back on the "doesnt want to live here" and shes "going to get emancipated" stuff. I said oh have you looked into that? Calmly told her it wasnt legal here and a few more facts she wasnt aware of. She stormed off to her room. Our state does not have emancipation and until 18 shes a minor and under our authority. Husband called local police department yesterday and got the facts. If she leaves we will have her picked up. And if she is found at the boyfriends we will sadly have to threaten his mother with a charge of aiding and abetting a runaway - each day a runaway teen is housed by you without her parents consent is a separate charge. Feel kinda bad about it going there with the mom because I can only imagine what being HIS mom is like... but Im sure a threat is all it would take. I tried to reach out to his mom on social media weeks ago before I even knew the whole situation because I thought ok my kid is having sex with your kid we should know each other...but she refused and changed her settings so I cannot try again. So she knows or thinks she knows something is not ok with all of this. When daughter was recently caught not where she said she was she told us she slept at DemonBoys house and his mom was there. Who knows she may think my kid is the bad influence. She is a single mom and from what Ive learned very religious but yet doesnt have any control over him at all. Ive overheard him complaining to daughter about her going off on him and threatening to take him to the psychiatric ward...last thing I heard was a snippet of him telling daughter that his mom said something like "And she is lying to her parents!" I can only assume this is in reference to my kid sleeping there...but I doubt with the religious aspect, that she actually gave consent for that..more likely she discovered it in the morning or was just completely bullied into it by her ahole son. We may have to just show up at her door one day soon for a chat. So now daughter is just mad but calm to a point. I think she is tired from the days stress. I hope she is... I know I am. Maybe Tonight we will actually get some decent sleep. Need it. Thanks all for listening and for commenting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MommaMella, post: 705793, member: 21255"] Thank you all. Got her to the appointment this morning. Only because we told her if she didnt go we would not take her to school (We can play the lying game too). She never admitted this out loud but we knew the ONLY reason she wanted to go to school was for DemonBoy and friend and shes had zero contact -been grounded without phone/laptop etc - since Sat night. Overall we were satisfied with the experience at the new counsellor office though we only spoke to intake counsellor there, next appointment with actual therapist isnt until wednesday. They did drug test her. We didnt warn her and she was pretty unhappy about it. She tried the "I cant go in front of someone" routine and so we said we could not leave until she did. Stayed over an extra hour just sitting and she tried every 20 minutes until she did finally. Never made it to school because of this. Oops. Not sure if that was real stage fright or just dragging it out hoping she'd win and we'd leave. She gets her stubborness from me but I can be the Queen of Stubborn for something this serious. Results tomorrow. This counselling office is also where alot of people of all ages on parole or otherwise court ordered, have to come in and drug test. daughter seemed a bit shellshocked just being in the waiting room with people coming in to "drop" for their "PO". Learned a lot sitting there. Felt a little guilty for being secretly glad she was uncomfortable witnessing this. The intake counselor didnt tell us too much but did say she does not think daughter is at all safe with DemonBoy. She basically said its an abusive relationship, physically and psychologically and daughter is behaving like an abused spouse. We made an appointment to meet with School Counselor,the Drama Teacher (because Demonboy is in the school musical) and the School Resource Officer and we are going to let them know we do not want daughter near him...and see what they say. (The school has been supportive all along the way thus far but up until now we were approaching this from a mental health standpoint and not drugs/alcohol.) They may want her to leave the district. We open enrolled her there because we felt at the time it was a better school than our home district. Guess we will see... I doubt after all this she will be accepted next year. Its too bad because it really is the better school with better programs and opportunities. So this afternoon when we got home she started with a decent attitude. Husband commented that she was being unusually nice - I said she wants something, just wait. So tonight she asked for her phone. I said no. She asked why? I said because you are grounded and you know that. She said what does that have to do with my phone. I said you basically broke every single promise you made to us last week and we explained the consequences if you were to then so now you live with them. She started back on the "doesnt want to live here" and shes "going to get emancipated" stuff. I said oh have you looked into that? Calmly told her it wasnt legal here and a few more facts she wasnt aware of. She stormed off to her room. Our state does not have emancipation and until 18 shes a minor and under our authority. Husband called local police department yesterday and got the facts. If she leaves we will have her picked up. And if she is found at the boyfriends we will sadly have to threaten his mother with a charge of aiding and abetting a runaway - each day a runaway teen is housed by you without her parents consent is a separate charge. Feel kinda bad about it going there with the mom because I can only imagine what being HIS mom is like... but Im sure a threat is all it would take. I tried to reach out to his mom on social media weeks ago before I even knew the whole situation because I thought ok my kid is having sex with your kid we should know each other...but she refused and changed her settings so I cannot try again. So she knows or thinks she knows something is not ok with all of this. When daughter was recently caught not where she said she was she told us she slept at DemonBoys house and his mom was there. Who knows she may think my kid is the bad influence. She is a single mom and from what Ive learned very religious but yet doesnt have any control over him at all. Ive overheard him complaining to daughter about her going off on him and threatening to take him to the psychiatric ward...last thing I heard was a snippet of him telling daughter that his mom said something like "And she is lying to her parents!" I can only assume this is in reference to my kid sleeping there...but I doubt with the religious aspect, that she actually gave consent for that..more likely she discovered it in the morning or was just completely bullied into it by her ahole son. We may have to just show up at her door one day soon for a chat. So now daughter is just mad but calm to a point. I think she is tired from the days stress. I hope she is... I know I am. Maybe Tonight we will actually get some decent sleep. Need it. Thanks all for listening and for commenting. [/QUOTE]
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8 weeks ago she was my daughter...I feel like I dont know her now
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