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8 year old hates me and my new life, boyfriend etc
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 110182" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Smallworld asked all the questions I'd want to know about her treatment/evaluation issues. </p><p>As a once divorced mother, I"ll share some words of wisdom. I think (in my opinion) you have introduced a boyfriend PLUS his kids into her life WAY too soon. You may hate your ex, but he's their father and they don't want to see you with somebody else PLUS his kids. I picked up on that early with my three kids and never introduced them to anyone, only dating when they were with my ex. They didn't even accept my dating three years later, when I married, and that was very difficult for husband. And me. And them. If she is difficult anyways, I'd take him out of the equation for now. She has loved her father all her life and will not so readily accept a boyfriend, even if he's terrific and you love him. I found that my kids were even worse when other children were involved...I totally cut it out. It's a lot to expect a teen to adjust to after losing an intact family. If husband is not dating or if he's dating, but not a woman with kids, she probably sees that as more acceptable. I"m sure she already feels chaotic and misplaced. Since YOU left (I did too) she probably sees you as the one who broke up the home and made her daddy sad (my kids felt that way about me) and that will also make her more sympathetic towards him. When I was going through it, I understood. Their Dad wasn't good to me, but they didn't see the bad side of him very often, and they loved him and to them I took away their stability. They understand now, but they're in their 20's. It took a long time and my youngest daughter got into drugs. I would look into possible recreational drug use with your daughter too.</p><p>The other issues--answer Smallmom's questions and we can help you more. I'm having a quiet Christmas with my family so I could check in, but I think the board will be slow today. However, I'm sure you will get many more responses maybe later on or tomorrow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 110182, member: 1550"] Smallworld asked all the questions I'd want to know about her treatment/evaluation issues. As a once divorced mother, I"ll share some words of wisdom. I think (in my opinion) you have introduced a boyfriend PLUS his kids into her life WAY too soon. You may hate your ex, but he's their father and they don't want to see you with somebody else PLUS his kids. I picked up on that early with my three kids and never introduced them to anyone, only dating when they were with my ex. They didn't even accept my dating three years later, when I married, and that was very difficult for husband. And me. And them. If she is difficult anyways, I'd take him out of the equation for now. She has loved her father all her life and will not so readily accept a boyfriend, even if he's terrific and you love him. I found that my kids were even worse when other children were involved...I totally cut it out. It's a lot to expect a teen to adjust to after losing an intact family. If husband is not dating or if he's dating, but not a woman with kids, she probably sees that as more acceptable. I"m sure she already feels chaotic and misplaced. Since YOU left (I did too) she probably sees you as the one who broke up the home and made her daddy sad (my kids felt that way about me) and that will also make her more sympathetic towards him. When I was going through it, I understood. Their Dad wasn't good to me, but they didn't see the bad side of him very often, and they loved him and to them I took away their stability. They understand now, but they're in their 20's. It took a long time and my youngest daughter got into drugs. I would look into possible recreational drug use with your daughter too. The other issues--answer Smallmom's questions and we can help you more. I'm having a quiet Christmas with my family so I could check in, but I think the board will be slow today. However, I'm sure you will get many more responses maybe later on or tomorrow. [/QUOTE]
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