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General Parenting
8 year old hates me and my new life, boyfriend etc
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 111166"><p>I think it's far too easy to blame the mom for having a boyfriend and that's what is causing the problem. And it becomes very easy to ignore the fact that the behavior started to escalate BEFORE the boyfriend was in the picture.</p><p></p><p>I think it's more likely that this is a child who would have developed issues even if the parents had stayed married. Reacting with violent outbursts is not behavior we expect to see in neurotypical kids, no matter the driving forces behind it.</p><p></p><p>Throwing a boyfriend into the mix certainly complicates any picture. But the behavior started before. And she's stated repeatedly that he's not around the kids much at all. </p><p></p><p>MWM - you said that 'we have a right to be happy, but not at the expense of our kids.' I'm not passing judgment of any kind, but you yourself said that 2 of your 3 kids acted very upset about your husband yet you married him anyway.</p><p></p><p>I don't think it's fair to point fingers and say, yep this is what caused it because we here cannot possibly know that. I think this mom has enough guilt she is wading through. Let's not add to it.</p><p></p><p>I realize that this topic hits a nerve with me. It's been quite alright for my ex to remarry, but let me get interested in a guy and all hell breaks loose in my house. My son goes into depression, I start dating someone and all of a sudden it's my 'fault' my son is depressed. I hadn't dated anyone seriously before that instance for 6 YEARS. Don't get me started.</p><p></p><p>ETA: And not all of us get every other weekend free.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 111166"] I think it's far too easy to blame the mom for having a boyfriend and that's what is causing the problem. And it becomes very easy to ignore the fact that the behavior started to escalate BEFORE the boyfriend was in the picture. I think it's more likely that this is a child who would have developed issues even if the parents had stayed married. Reacting with violent outbursts is not behavior we expect to see in neurotypical kids, no matter the driving forces behind it. Throwing a boyfriend into the mix certainly complicates any picture. But the behavior started before. And she's stated repeatedly that he's not around the kids much at all. MWM - you said that 'we have a right to be happy, but not at the expense of our kids.' I'm not passing judgment of any kind, but you yourself said that 2 of your 3 kids acted very upset about your husband yet you married him anyway. I don't think it's fair to point fingers and say, yep this is what caused it because we here cannot possibly know that. I think this mom has enough guilt she is wading through. Let's not add to it. I realize that this topic hits a nerve with me. It's been quite alright for my ex to remarry, but let me get interested in a guy and all hell breaks loose in my house. My son goes into depression, I start dating someone and all of a sudden it's my 'fault' my son is depressed. I hadn't dated anyone seriously before that instance for 6 YEARS. Don't get me started. ETA: And not all of us get every other weekend free. [/QUOTE]
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8 year old hates me and my new life, boyfriend etc
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