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8 year old hates me and my new life, boyfriend etc
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 111178" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I doubt if your kids are fine with your ex remarrying, but, hey, I don't know your situation. Also, after six years, well, in my opinion that's different. I also don't think this boyfriend and his kids are the whole thing with this child, obviously. But I do think it's not helping at all and causing divided attention and extra chaos in the house (notate THREE kids). I went through this with PCs and it's JMO. I'm not a big fan of introducing kids to boyfriends and their kids for a long time (and to be 1 1/2 years the wounds are still quite fresh). I think it messes kids up even more. I think it's too much too fast so I gave my opinion, like we all do. In my family I KNOW my kids (who were all PCs at the time) were screwed up partly because of my dating in front of them. in my opinion only if we decide to leave hub or he leaves us, that still doesn't mean we can do exactly what we want to be happy, even if our kids are damaged by our choices, and I would go easy on the boyfriend and his kids. We all have a right to be happy, but we also have a responsibility to our children who in no way asked for our divorce. Seems like almost all my 11 year old daughter's friends are from divorces and have to deal with new bfs and gfs and spouses and kids from other people--most of the kids are quite resentful of at least one set, even if it has been years. Many are getting to the age where they can pick who they live with and want to get away from one of their parent's new spoues AND stepchildren. It's a choice we make, but I think it's unfair to be angry at our kids because they resent our new honeys and their kids. Heck, I know k ids who have to go through multiple boyfriends with their moms (and vice versa) and they vent to ME--they don't tell their parents how they feel. I stay at home so I'm kinda the neighborhood mom sounding board. I just wouldn't go there with dating, if I had it to do over again. The price to my kids mental health wasn't worth it. Again, we are all posting our own experiences and opinions. Yes, I married three years after I divorced. in my opinion it was a mistake. I'm positive my daughter, who tells me now how lonely and confused she felt, was swayed into drug use with a bad crowd partly because of this marriage, and he didn't even have any other kids. I think it would have been tons better to have waited another two years to marry. My daughter needed more of my attention and she didn't need another man trying to discipline her--she, and all three kids, resented that from him. I can't imagine what it would have been like if he had kids, even one child. I'm trying to help others maybe learn from my mistakes...JMO</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 111178, member: 1550"] I doubt if your kids are fine with your ex remarrying, but, hey, I don't know your situation. Also, after six years, well, in my opinion that's different. I also don't think this boyfriend and his kids are the whole thing with this child, obviously. But I do think it's not helping at all and causing divided attention and extra chaos in the house (notate THREE kids). I went through this with PCs and it's JMO. I'm not a big fan of introducing kids to boyfriends and their kids for a long time (and to be 1 1/2 years the wounds are still quite fresh). I think it messes kids up even more. I think it's too much too fast so I gave my opinion, like we all do. In my family I KNOW my kids (who were all PCs at the time) were screwed up partly because of my dating in front of them. in my opinion only if we decide to leave hub or he leaves us, that still doesn't mean we can do exactly what we want to be happy, even if our kids are damaged by our choices, and I would go easy on the boyfriend and his kids. We all have a right to be happy, but we also have a responsibility to our children who in no way asked for our divorce. Seems like almost all my 11 year old daughter's friends are from divorces and have to deal with new bfs and gfs and spouses and kids from other people--most of the kids are quite resentful of at least one set, even if it has been years. Many are getting to the age where they can pick who they live with and want to get away from one of their parent's new spoues AND stepchildren. It's a choice we make, but I think it's unfair to be angry at our kids because they resent our new honeys and their kids. Heck, I know k ids who have to go through multiple boyfriends with their moms (and vice versa) and they vent to ME--they don't tell their parents how they feel. I stay at home so I'm kinda the neighborhood mom sounding board. I just wouldn't go there with dating, if I had it to do over again. The price to my kids mental health wasn't worth it. Again, we are all posting our own experiences and opinions. Yes, I married three years after I divorced. in my opinion it was a mistake. I'm positive my daughter, who tells me now how lonely and confused she felt, was swayed into drug use with a bad crowd partly because of this marriage, and he didn't even have any other kids. I think it would have been tons better to have waited another two years to marry. My daughter needed more of my attention and she didn't need another man trying to discipline her--she, and all three kids, resented that from him. I can't imagine what it would have been like if he had kids, even one child. I'm trying to help others maybe learn from my mistakes...JMO [/QUOTE]
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