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8 year old hates me and my new life, boyfriend etc
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 111267"><p>Go Sox - </p><p></p><p>No more guilt. You are doing what you have to do. Even people that stay married go through upheaval, financial crises, etc. Life happens. We make the best of it.</p><p></p><p>I think it sends an unhealthy message to our children when we say that we are willing to sacrifice everything - even a chance at our own happiness - just so they don't have to be unhappy for a minute. Studies repeatedly show that today's youth are more narcissistic than ever. We are creating an 'It's all about ME' culture. </p><p></p><p>You are not doing anything wrong. You are working to provide for your family. Lots of families work multiple jobs to make ends meet. At the turn of the century, families (including children) worked 16 hour days, 6 days a week. You're a long way from that. And you're children are learning the value of work.</p><p></p><p>You're not parading one new man after another. You are in a committed, stable, HEALTHY relationship that makes you happy. </p><p></p><p>So, please, stop the guilt. It's an unproductive and wasted emotion. </p><p></p><p>I'm kind of surprised at some of the reactions here as all of us parents of difficult child's have had fingers pointed at us: too strict, too lenient, too involved, not involved enough, not consistent, not flexible. WE know how people react. We've heard it all and dealt with it all - including the guilt that comes with it all. We've all second-guessed every move we've made. And we've all tried our damndest to help our kids. </p><p></p><p>My parents divorced when I was 8. For me, it was a relief. The tension was gone. My home life was full of turmoil until that time. I remember asking my mom why she stayed married to my dad for so long. I was probably 10. Not every child of divorce reacts the same way. </p><p></p><p>Listen to the professionals. While you're seeking out the evaluation for your daughter, does your school offer groups for children of divorce? Our elementary school had groups run by the school psychologist and guidance counselors for children of divorce. It might be worth looking into. It couldn't hurt.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Stop blaming yourself. The reaction you are seeing from your child is not what would be expected from a neurotypical child. </p><p></p><p>(((hugs))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 111267"] Go Sox - No more guilt. You are doing what you have to do. Even people that stay married go through upheaval, financial crises, etc. Life happens. We make the best of it. I think it sends an unhealthy message to our children when we say that we are willing to sacrifice everything - even a chance at our own happiness - just so they don't have to be unhappy for a minute. Studies repeatedly show that today's youth are more narcissistic than ever. We are creating an 'It's all about ME' culture. You are not doing anything wrong. You are working to provide for your family. Lots of families work multiple jobs to make ends meet. At the turn of the century, families (including children) worked 16 hour days, 6 days a week. You're a long way from that. And you're children are learning the value of work. You're not parading one new man after another. You are in a committed, stable, HEALTHY relationship that makes you happy. So, please, stop the guilt. It's an unproductive and wasted emotion. I'm kind of surprised at some of the reactions here as all of us parents of difficult child's have had fingers pointed at us: too strict, too lenient, too involved, not involved enough, not consistent, not flexible. WE know how people react. We've heard it all and dealt with it all - including the guilt that comes with it all. We've all second-guessed every move we've made. And we've all tried our damndest to help our kids. My parents divorced when I was 8. For me, it was a relief. The tension was gone. My home life was full of turmoil until that time. I remember asking my mom why she stayed married to my dad for so long. I was probably 10. Not every child of divorce reacts the same way. Listen to the professionals. While you're seeking out the evaluation for your daughter, does your school offer groups for children of divorce? Our elementary school had groups run by the school psychologist and guidance counselors for children of divorce. It might be worth looking into. It couldn't hurt. Hang in there. Stop blaming yourself. The reaction you are seeing from your child is not what would be expected from a neurotypical child. (((hugs)))) [/QUOTE]
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