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8 year old hates me and my new life, boyfriend etc
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<blockquote data-quote="GOSOX" data-source="post: 112251" data-attributes="member: 4456"><p>Happy New Year..</p><p>It was EXTREMELY smooth with my daughter.</p><p>We house sat for a friend.</p><p>My boyfriend was there and his children for New Years and a sleepover. </p><p>I could not believe why it went so well.</p><p>I am complete shock still.. hours after dropping the children off to their father.</p><p>Anyhow.. I was happy at the time and so was she.</p><p>Thats all the matters.</p><p>Of course as we are leaving and dummy me states, " wasnt that New Years fun?" No I hate them all " was her reply.( even though she was laughing .. sledding.. face painting.... video gaming it..( which is big as I dont allow) Its like I want her approval? Perhaps she has loyality to dad and feels guilty? </p><p>Anyhow.. it went smashingly well and no explosions. I headed off two with verbal cues and not pushing. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Ok.. lets see a few clarifications:</p><p>Yes.. the " Explosive Child."</p><p>I am trying to read it and perform it.. not TOTALLY natural yet.. although it is very much in sync with the Bonnie Harris Book I read and I see her as well every other week or so..</p><p>.. so it is all coming together.</p><p>A question.. although I know you have to " pick your battles"... where do draw a line .. or not... When she began to be mouthy this with-e.. i had to decide " is it worth it to say something or not .. let is slide and talk to her about it later...</p><p>I cued her... and then felt it out from there.... FOR SURE I am getting the "try to get in there BEFORE the explosive episode," Because as we all know.. it is foolish to try and stop it in mid motion.</p><p>I guess it will come togther.</p><p>Mouthyness is a trigger for me and she knws how to push my buttons.. so I guess.. every situation is different?</p><p></p><p>Lets see what else..</p><p></p><p>My daughter and I also had a chat about Xmas eve and her strong need to be with her dad.( this was N years eve while the rest of the clan was watching a film... and she and I dont do TV much so we were chatting reading on a couch ) </p><p></p><p>I believe I told all of you on Xmas eve she was sobbing and it turned sour with punching and swearing etc. She ended up with her Dad picking her up here for Xmas eve. </p><p>I asked her if she " just wanted to be home for Xmas." She stated yes and started crying.. telling me she loves to wake up at home and not here. ( we have lived in that house since 1996 and she knows only that home) so it is in haste for me to even compare my apt to that for her.</p><p>I keep thinking.. will it make a difference when I get a house again?</p><p>I guess not.. any ideas?</p><p>Yes.. I know.. start new traditions etc... but as you all know. the smells and sounds of home are so powerful.</p><p>At times I think would it have been different if I made HIM leave. ( I tried and he wouldnt) </p><p>Anyhow.. thats where its at.</p><p>Thanks for all of the advice.</p><p>This is very interesting.</p><p></p><p>GOSOX</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GOSOX, post: 112251, member: 4456"] Happy New Year.. It was EXTREMELY smooth with my daughter. We house sat for a friend. My boyfriend was there and his children for New Years and a sleepover. I could not believe why it went so well. I am complete shock still.. hours after dropping the children off to their father. Anyhow.. I was happy at the time and so was she. Thats all the matters. Of course as we are leaving and dummy me states, " wasnt that New Years fun?" No I hate them all " was her reply.( even though she was laughing .. sledding.. face painting.... video gaming it..( which is big as I dont allow) Its like I want her approval? Perhaps she has loyality to dad and feels guilty? Anyhow.. it went smashingly well and no explosions. I headed off two with verbal cues and not pushing. Ok.. lets see a few clarifications: Yes.. the " Explosive Child." I am trying to read it and perform it.. not TOTALLY natural yet.. although it is very much in sync with the Bonnie Harris Book I read and I see her as well every other week or so.. .. so it is all coming together. A question.. although I know you have to " pick your battles"... where do draw a line .. or not... When she began to be mouthy this with-e.. i had to decide " is it worth it to say something or not .. let is slide and talk to her about it later... I cued her... and then felt it out from there.... FOR SURE I am getting the "try to get in there BEFORE the explosive episode," Because as we all know.. it is foolish to try and stop it in mid motion. I guess it will come togther. Mouthyness is a trigger for me and she knws how to push my buttons.. so I guess.. every situation is different? Lets see what else.. My daughter and I also had a chat about Xmas eve and her strong need to be with her dad.( this was N years eve while the rest of the clan was watching a film... and she and I dont do TV much so we were chatting reading on a couch ) I believe I told all of you on Xmas eve she was sobbing and it turned sour with punching and swearing etc. She ended up with her Dad picking her up here for Xmas eve. I asked her if she " just wanted to be home for Xmas." She stated yes and started crying.. telling me she loves to wake up at home and not here. ( we have lived in that house since 1996 and she knows only that home) so it is in haste for me to even compare my apt to that for her. I keep thinking.. will it make a difference when I get a house again? I guess not.. any ideas? Yes.. I know.. start new traditions etc... but as you all know. the smells and sounds of home are so powerful. At times I think would it have been different if I made HIM leave. ( I tried and he wouldnt) Anyhow.. thats where its at. Thanks for all of the advice. This is very interesting. GOSOX [/QUOTE]
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