Verucalise
New Member
Hello, everyone! Thanks for giving me the chance to put out there my thoughts, I really could use the help right now.
My 9 year old DS has always struggled with school. Especially reading/writing. He used to be in speech, but they discharged him at the end of first grade. He is very frustrated at times, to the point where it affects his expressive language. He's intelligent on an average scale, IQ about 100-110. He has the least problems with math. I've been told over the years that he is a well behaved, polite child.
I requested a formal psychological evaluation in 11/2010 due to the way he writes- I had my concerns about dysphagia and wanted to ensure that when he entered 4th grade there would be a 504 plan in place to help. I also wanted to see if there were any other issues- ADD? Expressive Language Disorder? DS's reading/word making teacher (Teacher A) called me one night, expressing her concerns about him having Asperger Syndrome. I told her I didn't believe he did- I have much experience in that area. She kept trying to "sway" me with her arguments about how this behavior is Aspergers, that behavior indicates Aspergers, he hums... she thinks he's humming along with the fluorescent lights. It's hard for him to concentrate on school, he wants to talk about his favorite toys instead. He's socially awkward, has no friends. I told her I beg to differ, I have little boys at my house once a month, and they call us! I am not arguing any possibilities, and I'm alright if he is- but I do not feel it's so.
The Teachers Support Network has a meeting, and does not deem DS eligible for testing due to the small problems he exhibited. Teacher A pipes up her concerns about Aspergers. They go forward with testing. It comes up with a normal IQ, low working memory (<3%), high perceptual reasoning skills, low verbal, a possible expressive language disorder, and possible Asperger's with the GADS test showing >90. Anything over 80 indicates high probably Aspergers. No mention of the writing difficulties my son shows, attention span difficulties, nothing. I read the test further, and the "informant" for this GADS 15 minute questionnaire is Teacher A. I am furious they didn't ask for my input as my child behaves differently at home than at school. But I sit quietly, and start lining up tests. I know mothers can be overbearing and won't believe but I'm not one of them. I don't jump to conclusion, and feel a proper process should be followed. Not just a "whim".
I pursue all testing the psychiatric exam recommends. Expressive Language shows up normal, DS understands language/speaks between 14-18 year level. They note severe anxiety issues when it comes to school/writing. Teacher A and Teacher B fill out "BRIEF" questionaire, along with myself. Teacher B fills out questionaire almost identical to my own, seeing the same issues. Teacher A fills it out, says DS is unruly, cannot be left with supervision, ETC... things that are completely not true about my child. She also answered parts of this test with behaviors he exhibited last year in 2nd grade; the test was only supposed to go back 6 months in behaviors. I pursue Asperger testing- he sees the psychologist next Tuesday, nothing up to now indicates he has Asperger's with behavior testing. We see a neurologist- he reviews records, and believes DS has ADD and anxiety issues. Gives me the Vanderbilt tests for myself and Teacher A- he WANTS the teacher who DS has the most issues with to fill it out.
Teacher A NOW says my son has temper issues, and feels like he's not loved and is lonely. Bottom of test writes all my sons social issues, instead of responding to the ADD problems, and even after multiple chats/emails, NOW doesn't believe my son has much of an attention problem and almost turns the test into her own Asperger assessment with 1/2 a page of social problems. Says he's repetitive, can't get off topic when you try to redirect him, and even used "examples" of things that he liked LAST year. Not this year.
Only this ONE teacher has issues with my child. His homeroom teacher, his math teacher, and reading teacher all note that although DS is unusual, his biggest problems are paying attention; to detail, to instructions, he goes too fast. No behavior problems whatsoever since he started school. They all note he's a little immature for his age, and that he can become emotional when it's not necessary, but nothing besides clamming up and teary eyes. He controls it well. He follows directions well, takes turns, and can be a "loafer" as one teacher says. He's very quiet, to himself. If he finds a common ground with another classmate about a favorite toy, or show, he opens right up and has friends to prove this.
Has anyone ever encountered a teacher that is bias to their own beliefs on your child? I'd hate to even think this, but over the last 5 months, the problem seems to be her classroom, or her. I find it hard to believe he's such a great child here at my house, takes care of and loves his little sisters to death, follows rules- and in her class, a completely different child. Her story changes every 5 minutes. Everything she's filled out for my son is almost altered to her belief of him having Aspergers. Not ONE professional out of probably 10 we've encountered has seen ANY asperger traits in him. They all adored him, noted his issues, and most said his attention was the worst problem. Neurologist suggested ADD medication.
Teacher A wrote me today a nasty email because I asked DS if he truly felt unloved and asked him about his temper if and when he gets upset. None of the other teachers see it, and my son is honest. He told me no, he doesn't lose his temper. He says he gets upset and cries. He told his teacher A today that I had asked him questions regarding how Teacher A answered and wanted to know why she felt this way. Teacher A wrote me a nastygram first trying to defend her answers and saying she wants the chance to back up her answers, that she's filled out many Vanderbilt tests in her career (all of 5 years in a small podunk school district, she's 29-30 years old) and that these tests are supposed to go directly to the Dr. and I shouldn't be reviewing them first.
I mean, I'm sorry, but WTH. Anyone encounter this? I could use some others. I feel like I'm losing my mind! It feels like a conspiracy theory, I know, but I can't for the life of me understand why she's doing this. I am trying to understand where the problems truly lie, and I can't get a clear picture of DS without seeing what the teachers are saying he is exhibiting. I don't find anything wrong with looking, and I've never approached her EVER with questions why she answers the way she does. I've held my tongue, even though I feel she's bias. HELP!
Thanks so much for any kind words of wisdom. it's so long.
My 9 year old DS has always struggled with school. Especially reading/writing. He used to be in speech, but they discharged him at the end of first grade. He is very frustrated at times, to the point where it affects his expressive language. He's intelligent on an average scale, IQ about 100-110. He has the least problems with math. I've been told over the years that he is a well behaved, polite child.
I requested a formal psychological evaluation in 11/2010 due to the way he writes- I had my concerns about dysphagia and wanted to ensure that when he entered 4th grade there would be a 504 plan in place to help. I also wanted to see if there were any other issues- ADD? Expressive Language Disorder? DS's reading/word making teacher (Teacher A) called me one night, expressing her concerns about him having Asperger Syndrome. I told her I didn't believe he did- I have much experience in that area. She kept trying to "sway" me with her arguments about how this behavior is Aspergers, that behavior indicates Aspergers, he hums... she thinks he's humming along with the fluorescent lights. It's hard for him to concentrate on school, he wants to talk about his favorite toys instead. He's socially awkward, has no friends. I told her I beg to differ, I have little boys at my house once a month, and they call us! I am not arguing any possibilities, and I'm alright if he is- but I do not feel it's so.
The Teachers Support Network has a meeting, and does not deem DS eligible for testing due to the small problems he exhibited. Teacher A pipes up her concerns about Aspergers. They go forward with testing. It comes up with a normal IQ, low working memory (<3%), high perceptual reasoning skills, low verbal, a possible expressive language disorder, and possible Asperger's with the GADS test showing >90. Anything over 80 indicates high probably Aspergers. No mention of the writing difficulties my son shows, attention span difficulties, nothing. I read the test further, and the "informant" for this GADS 15 minute questionnaire is Teacher A. I am furious they didn't ask for my input as my child behaves differently at home than at school. But I sit quietly, and start lining up tests. I know mothers can be overbearing and won't believe but I'm not one of them. I don't jump to conclusion, and feel a proper process should be followed. Not just a "whim".
I pursue all testing the psychiatric exam recommends. Expressive Language shows up normal, DS understands language/speaks between 14-18 year level. They note severe anxiety issues when it comes to school/writing. Teacher A and Teacher B fill out "BRIEF" questionaire, along with myself. Teacher B fills out questionaire almost identical to my own, seeing the same issues. Teacher A fills it out, says DS is unruly, cannot be left with supervision, ETC... things that are completely not true about my child. She also answered parts of this test with behaviors he exhibited last year in 2nd grade; the test was only supposed to go back 6 months in behaviors. I pursue Asperger testing- he sees the psychologist next Tuesday, nothing up to now indicates he has Asperger's with behavior testing. We see a neurologist- he reviews records, and believes DS has ADD and anxiety issues. Gives me the Vanderbilt tests for myself and Teacher A- he WANTS the teacher who DS has the most issues with to fill it out.
Teacher A NOW says my son has temper issues, and feels like he's not loved and is lonely. Bottom of test writes all my sons social issues, instead of responding to the ADD problems, and even after multiple chats/emails, NOW doesn't believe my son has much of an attention problem and almost turns the test into her own Asperger assessment with 1/2 a page of social problems. Says he's repetitive, can't get off topic when you try to redirect him, and even used "examples" of things that he liked LAST year. Not this year.
Only this ONE teacher has issues with my child. His homeroom teacher, his math teacher, and reading teacher all note that although DS is unusual, his biggest problems are paying attention; to detail, to instructions, he goes too fast. No behavior problems whatsoever since he started school. They all note he's a little immature for his age, and that he can become emotional when it's not necessary, but nothing besides clamming up and teary eyes. He controls it well. He follows directions well, takes turns, and can be a "loafer" as one teacher says. He's very quiet, to himself. If he finds a common ground with another classmate about a favorite toy, or show, he opens right up and has friends to prove this.
Has anyone ever encountered a teacher that is bias to their own beliefs on your child? I'd hate to even think this, but over the last 5 months, the problem seems to be her classroom, or her. I find it hard to believe he's such a great child here at my house, takes care of and loves his little sisters to death, follows rules- and in her class, a completely different child. Her story changes every 5 minutes. Everything she's filled out for my son is almost altered to her belief of him having Aspergers. Not ONE professional out of probably 10 we've encountered has seen ANY asperger traits in him. They all adored him, noted his issues, and most said his attention was the worst problem. Neurologist suggested ADD medication.
Teacher A wrote me today a nasty email because I asked DS if he truly felt unloved and asked him about his temper if and when he gets upset. None of the other teachers see it, and my son is honest. He told me no, he doesn't lose his temper. He says he gets upset and cries. He told his teacher A today that I had asked him questions regarding how Teacher A answered and wanted to know why she felt this way. Teacher A wrote me a nastygram first trying to defend her answers and saying she wants the chance to back up her answers, that she's filled out many Vanderbilt tests in her career (all of 5 years in a small podunk school district, she's 29-30 years old) and that these tests are supposed to go directly to the Dr. and I shouldn't be reviewing them first.
I mean, I'm sorry, but WTH. Anyone encounter this? I could use some others. I feel like I'm losing my mind! It feels like a conspiracy theory, I know, but I can't for the life of me understand why she's doing this. I am trying to understand where the problems truly lie, and I can't get a clear picture of DS without seeing what the teachers are saying he is exhibiting. I don't find anything wrong with looking, and I've never approached her EVER with questions why she answers the way she does. I've held my tongue, even though I feel she's bias. HELP!
Thanks so much for any kind words of wisdom. it's so long.
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