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General Parenting
9 Year Old Son just diagnosed with Odd
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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 549439" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>I can relate to lots of what you said. I have two (now adult) difficult children, both are Aspies and one is also bipolar. I'm not saying I think your difficult child is an Aspie or bipolar, just that many of the behaviors you talk about are very familiar to me too.</p><p></p><p>I found that some of the best advice I was given was advice others mentioned here. For my family to run as smoothly as possible, we had to stick to strict daily routines. If my difficult children's routines were going to have to change because of an unavoidable situation, I let them know as soon as possible and would try to give them a temporary schedule. Even a minor change in schedule could cause a major "meltdown."</p><p></p><p>Another great piece of advice already mentioned here is to make sure you find time to take care of yourself! I know, this is much easier said then done, but, please, no matter how difficult it is to find the time, find it!! As I learned from this site, "if Mom isn't happy, no one is." I thought I could be like superwoman, do it all, without (much) help, and still function. I was able to function but did so at the expense of losing myself in the process, resenting my difficult children during the worst times, afraid, sad, embarrassed, because I thought I didn't love them (just read some of my earliest posts!), feeling guilty and ashamed because of these feelings, plowing ahead as though I was on autopilot. </p><p></p><p>As of right now, I'm happy to say that my difficult children are doing well. I have wonderful relationships with each of them that I thought at one time would never be possible, and my husband and I are reconnecting and are closer than we've been in years. I'm not the same person I was before starting this journey and I'm still in the process of discovering who I am now. I can honestly say for the first time in many, many years that I'm happy. Raising difficult children is a draining experience. Let your family/friends support you in any way they can. </p><p></p><p>Just want you to know I'm thinking of you this morning. You are not alone! Hugs... SFR</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 549439, member: 3388"] I can relate to lots of what you said. I have two (now adult) difficult children, both are Aspies and one is also bipolar. I'm not saying I think your difficult child is an Aspie or bipolar, just that many of the behaviors you talk about are very familiar to me too. I found that some of the best advice I was given was advice others mentioned here. For my family to run as smoothly as possible, we had to stick to strict daily routines. If my difficult children's routines were going to have to change because of an unavoidable situation, I let them know as soon as possible and would try to give them a temporary schedule. Even a minor change in schedule could cause a major "meltdown." Another great piece of advice already mentioned here is to make sure you find time to take care of yourself! I know, this is much easier said then done, but, please, no matter how difficult it is to find the time, find it!! As I learned from this site, "if Mom isn't happy, no one is." I thought I could be like superwoman, do it all, without (much) help, and still function. I was able to function but did so at the expense of losing myself in the process, resenting my difficult children during the worst times, afraid, sad, embarrassed, because I thought I didn't love them (just read some of my earliest posts!), feeling guilty and ashamed because of these feelings, plowing ahead as though I was on autopilot. As of right now, I'm happy to say that my difficult children are doing well. I have wonderful relationships with each of them that I thought at one time would never be possible, and my husband and I are reconnecting and are closer than we've been in years. I'm not the same person I was before starting this journey and I'm still in the process of discovering who I am now. I can honestly say for the first time in many, many years that I'm happy. Raising difficult children is a draining experience. Let your family/friends support you in any way they can. Just want you to know I'm thinking of you this morning. You are not alone! Hugs... SFR [/QUOTE]
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