A cherry on top!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by erbaledge, May 5, 2010.

  1. erbaledge

    erbaledge New Member

    Yesterday, gfg15, gfg9, and I had the greatest counseling session of all! :) I left feeling hopeful!

    I actually saw real respect from gfg15, this is new. Not a respect that is required, but a given respect, if that makes sense, I felt a sense of her giving me her respect!
    - I was talking to gfg15 about her and how I'd like her to share with me her real feelings daily, she wasn't looking at me, she was just looking around, and I had no clue if she was truly listening, so without even raising my voice, I just calmly said "Focus" - with that simple word, my gfg15 lifted her head, and gave me 100% direct eye-to-eye contact and held it while I finished.

    Gfg15, after us talking, shared with me 3 emotional feelings she was feeling, WOW!, that was progress! That made me elated. Because I told her in the beginning of the session, when I ask "how are you feeling" I'm not looking for "fine, good, okay, etc" - that instead I truly and deeply want to know whats she's feeling. And she did it! Without much prompting, without making it seem like I was asking too much, without defiance!

    And the cherry on top of all of this: gfg15 and gfg9 got along the whole session. They cuddled, they loved, they hugged, they smiled, they joked - no tension between them, no 'fighting' for top daughter status - just pure love between the two.

    Ahhhh..... I relish in yesterdays' session.

    Their is the bewilderment of why? Why did the whole thing go so well? Is this pure progress for gfg15, that will stay around most of the time? Will it continue? Does her medication increase last week while at the hospital assist in this change?
  2. LostMama

    LostMama Guest

  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Congratulations - That is great!

    It does make perfect sense about the "given" respect and it is an awesome feeling when we get it. I always cherish the memories of working in a concession stand with both my kids. That was a time of given respect that I don't get a lot of.

    And watching our otherwise rivalring children enjoy each other is so uplifting. You would think a boy and girl who differ in age by 6 years could learn to stay out of each other's way but no, I get the full blast of fights from time to time. My Diva is really coming around lately. The other night she joined difficult child in the living room and sat on the floor to help him cut out cardboard circles for a school project. Rare and precious times. Diva and her boyfriend have also teamed up to be the "adult" on a JR/Adult bowling league with difficult child.

    For your GFG15, this might not last long, but it will return from time to time and hopefully with each time last longer. And, it is possible that during that session she actually understood something and the respect for you and enjoyment of her sister just may continue. Rejoice in each moment. Just don't be too disappointed if she slips back into her old habits because sometimes it takes time to get these new ones to stick.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    What a wonderful experience. I completely understand what you mean about respect.

    It is an awesome feeling to have your child give you that respect. Also to have them share their true feelings. One of the reasons I have been able to handle my daughter's illness is that she shares how she is feeling with me. Even when I am on her "vampire" schedule so that I can be there for her when she is awake, it is worth it because she then KNOWS that I am here to help her and love her. She is easy child so she gives that back, but I have done it with difficult child at times too.

    Seeing them just be sisters is awesome. I hope you get more time like that. Cherish it when it happens and be SURE to write it down so that you can look back on this time when things are bad.

    Many hugs!
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a great session!!:)
  6. erbaledge

    erbaledge New Member

    That is what I was thinking. It would be BEYOND great if this was the new and improved gfg15. But alas, I know there will be slip backs.

    I also agree, writing down and re-reading the good times is helpful. I also like to share the good times the good moments, the good sessions with the staff/team people for gfg15, because I think they deserve to know when things went overly well, because no way would we be where we are now without them.