A child in our daycare who bites, bites, bites
- Thread starter BusynMember
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BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I'm sure the school has spoken to many about her.
The fact is, if I try to second guess the school, I will lose my job and I can't afford it. Like I said, social workers are on the premeses and visit problem families a lot in an attempt to help. If she has a one-on-one aid, a lot of people are involved. That required hiring one person just for her and schools don't really like to do that because it costs $$$. So others are aware and probably just as sad and frustrated. Trust me...I would not even know where to go for help...I wish I could just hug her and make her feel better. But that doesn't help her at all.
The fact is, if I try to second guess the school, I will lose my job and I can't afford it. Like I said, social workers are on the premeses and visit problem families a lot in an attempt to help. If she has a one-on-one aid, a lot of people are involved. That required hiring one person just for her and schools don't really like to do that because it costs $$$. So others are aware and probably just as sad and frustrated. Trust me...I would not even know where to go for help...I wish I could just hug her and make her feel better. But that doesn't help her at all.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
You must work in some sort of Head start setting or something like that. Cory went to Head Start and Jamie went to a county run day care that was awesome but then they changed something and it become not so good.
As far as I can tell, I think Head Start is good in some places and not so good in others. The one Keyana went to was next to useless.
I honestly cringe at the idea of calling the police on a 4 year old. She isnt old enough to form intent and therefore wouldnt even be close to being charged. I cant see bringing police into things before kids are much older. She needs help but the legal system isnt going to help her. I used to read a series of books by an author who taught kids like this in Special Education but damned if I can remember her name. I loved those books too.
As far as I can tell, I think Head Start is good in some places and not so good in others. The one Keyana went to was next to useless.
I honestly cringe at the idea of calling the police on a 4 year old. She isnt old enough to form intent and therefore wouldnt even be close to being charged. I cant see bringing police into things before kids are much older. She needs help but the legal system isnt going to help her. I used to read a series of books by an author who taught kids like this in Special Education but damned if I can remember her name. I loved those books too.
buddy
New Member
RE: "Depending on the answers to these questions, and probably many more I haven't thought of, very low functioning autistic perhaps?" Yeah, I thought autism too. But certainly doesn't have to be very low autism. When my son got into biting phases (still does at 14 sometimes, but mostly to pencils and other stuff, still he did bite one staff last year) it is ALWAYS when he has something painful in his mouth. Canker sore, tooth ache, sore throat...etc. At his older age he bites people only if he is stressed by something plus has the pain. Usually just bites the clothes they wear. If this child is from a limited family, do they get dental care for her? Kids who are sensory seeking will often want that deep pressure kind of biting and it is not connected with wanting to hurt someone, they dont even understand what will happen emotionally to another--and they dont care-it is just off their radar, they just do it to satisfy their own wants and needs. She may be chronologically 4 but I doubt she is developmentally 4. Sounds like she needs very structured, highly trained behavioral aides...not just somone to keep her away from others. Many biters are given "chewies" like baby teething rings, surgical tubing on a string, etc. to help them to redirect their biting. My son also gets gum to chew. I would NEVER EVER let him to be in a situation where he continues to bite and hurt people-for their sakes. He can't make that call but I can, no matter if he meant to hurt them or not, everyone has a right to work and go to school and feel safe. Safety issues are where I draw the line and support the school (in doing appropriate things) fully. I actually go to the school and stay there when new interventions start to make sure if they need me I am there in a second. I dont shadow them or interfere, I work in other classes or library and they can grab me or bring him to me if needed.
About that daycare....really???, you can't discuss a legitimate concern about a student without losing your job? Wow, I would be scared to have my kid there. Can you say a general statement like, you know, I heard these ideas if we ever have a student who bites in our school. .... I hate having to play games like that, I understand confidentiality but if you are actually teaching her at any time....OR walking down the same halls as she is (my son used to not tolerate people close to him so staff was to walk with their hands in front of them not hanging at their sides or he might grab them, scratch or whatever...he was so sensory overloaded at that time, luckily it only lasted a few months) as long as it is done privately, I dont understand that. So sorry for you and for her whatever is wrong with her...
About that daycare....really???, you can't discuss a legitimate concern about a student without losing your job? Wow, I would be scared to have my kid there. Can you say a general statement like, you know, I heard these ideas if we ever have a student who bites in our school. .... I hate having to play games like that, I understand confidentiality but if you are actually teaching her at any time....OR walking down the same halls as she is (my son used to not tolerate people close to him so staff was to walk with their hands in front of them not hanging at their sides or he might grab them, scratch or whatever...he was so sensory overloaded at that time, luckily it only lasted a few months) as long as it is done privately, I dont understand that. So sorry for you and for her whatever is wrong with her...
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
There's no point in telling anyone there about the biting because everyone knows. And I know at least one parent who called in to complain about her daughter getting bitten. It's not a secret.
Janet, you are right on the money. My kids also went and it was different back then...they had discipline. If my kid came home and said she got bit, especially more than once, I would pull my child out of the school if I couldn't afford a private one. I have actually worked in private daycares too, however, and they were HORRIBLE. In one of them, the staff abused the kids and I didn't realize it at the time because I was so young or I WOULD have turned them in.
There is always a lot of cover up and much the parents do not know. That's really why I kept my kids out of daycare centers. Hub worked days, I worked in the evenings...no daycare. I don't trust other people with my kids, especially for that long a time. In the case of government run daycares, there are rules the staff HAS to follow and one is that a child can not be refused entry due to disability. I do not know what it would take to have her removed. Once she gets into kindergarten, she will probably be put into a setting apart from the other kids.
Janet, you are right on the money. My kids also went and it was different back then...they had discipline. If my kid came home and said she got bit, especially more than once, I would pull my child out of the school if I couldn't afford a private one. I have actually worked in private daycares too, however, and they were HORRIBLE. In one of them, the staff abused the kids and I didn't realize it at the time because I was so young or I WOULD have turned them in.
There is always a lot of cover up and much the parents do not know. That's really why I kept my kids out of daycare centers. Hub worked days, I worked in the evenings...no daycare. I don't trust other people with my kids, especially for that long a time. In the case of government run daycares, there are rules the staff HAS to follow and one is that a child can not be refused entry due to disability. I do not know what it would take to have her removed. Once she gets into kindergarten, she will probably be put into a setting apart from the other kids.
