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Substance Abuse
A Christmas to forget
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<blockquote data-quote="strangeworld" data-source="post: 725985" data-attributes="member: 22313"><p>LBL, I'm so sorry you fell into the pit of depression too. It is like nothing else. I don't blame people for not understanding or minimizing it because until you actually go through it there is no way to accurately describe it. It's probably our body's way of telling us to stop and listen to our own needs. </p><p></p><p>At the time of mine, my husband was not supportive...not into paying for counselling (insurance doesn't cover it), didn't want dsughter on "happy pills" as he called them, not compassionate but more angry. I think part of the reason he didn't want daughter on pills is his beaitiful sister had been in counselling and on numerous medications (happy pills) for years and she ended up dieing alone at 42 from a mixture of medications and alcohol. He's gone through his own battles and now I have come to the conclusion that he just couldn't take any more. I forgive him but I felt abandoned by him at the time. He finally got over the fear of daughter taking antidepressants when he saw that they helped her (at least for a while). I took them for 2 weeks last year but decided to stop. Personal choice and I know they are extremely helpful for some people. I will tell you the Ativan was a godsend. But with my history of alcohol addiction I weaned off them out of fear I would enjoy them too much. I have become stronger over time and if I need counselling for myself, I don't give a sh** what he has to say about it anymore. And he really doesn't say much but he asks how it went ect. He's more supportive now. Truth is he would benefit immensely from counselling I think (everyone on the planet could use someone to talk to at times) He's become a lot softer in the last few years thankfully. He exercises a lot, eats well, takes his supplements and is basically the epitome of self care. </p><p></p><p>Anyway onward and upward. Our kids will either learn or they won't. We are allowed to love them despite their weaknesses and flaws. We are allowed to be angry for the sacrifices we made. We are allowed to feel pissed that this is happening to our kids and us. We are allowed to go through whatever we are going through. I'm so sick of the little voices in my head condemning me for not being able to handle this....always feeling like I should ne doing more. Or I did the wrong thing....I enabled again etc etc. What is that? Perfectionism? I am handling it the way that I know how. Sometimes that means laying around on the couch surfing the web all day in pjs. Sometimes it means being extra productive in work and play. </p><p></p><p>LBL this is so hard. Hardest thing anyone can go through... watching someone they love most in this world self destruct. The good news is our kids know we love them. In the back of their minds, as much as they act hateful and disconnected, they must know we are rooting for them. Maybe it's enough to get them through these awful years. Their brains don't get consequences yet. I think they say 24 years old is when boys come back to earth. Girls maybe a little younger. There are no guarantees but there is always hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="strangeworld, post: 725985, member: 22313"] LBL, I'm so sorry you fell into the pit of depression too. It is like nothing else. I don't blame people for not understanding or minimizing it because until you actually go through it there is no way to accurately describe it. It's probably our body's way of telling us to stop and listen to our own needs. At the time of mine, my husband was not supportive...not into paying for counselling (insurance doesn't cover it), didn't want dsughter on "happy pills" as he called them, not compassionate but more angry. I think part of the reason he didn't want daughter on pills is his beaitiful sister had been in counselling and on numerous medications (happy pills) for years and she ended up dieing alone at 42 from a mixture of medications and alcohol. He's gone through his own battles and now I have come to the conclusion that he just couldn't take any more. I forgive him but I felt abandoned by him at the time. He finally got over the fear of daughter taking antidepressants when he saw that they helped her (at least for a while). I took them for 2 weeks last year but decided to stop. Personal choice and I know they are extremely helpful for some people. I will tell you the Ativan was a godsend. But with my history of alcohol addiction I weaned off them out of fear I would enjoy them too much. I have become stronger over time and if I need counselling for myself, I don't give a sh** what he has to say about it anymore. And he really doesn't say much but he asks how it went ect. He's more supportive now. Truth is he would benefit immensely from counselling I think (everyone on the planet could use someone to talk to at times) He's become a lot softer in the last few years thankfully. He exercises a lot, eats well, takes his supplements and is basically the epitome of self care. Anyway onward and upward. Our kids will either learn or they won't. We are allowed to love them despite their weaknesses and flaws. We are allowed to be angry for the sacrifices we made. We are allowed to feel pissed that this is happening to our kids and us. We are allowed to go through whatever we are going through. I'm so sick of the little voices in my head condemning me for not being able to handle this....always feeling like I should ne doing more. Or I did the wrong thing....I enabled again etc etc. What is that? Perfectionism? I am handling it the way that I know how. Sometimes that means laying around on the couch surfing the web all day in pjs. Sometimes it means being extra productive in work and play. LBL this is so hard. Hardest thing anyone can go through... watching someone they love most in this world self destruct. The good news is our kids know we love them. In the back of their minds, as much as they act hateful and disconnected, they must know we are rooting for them. Maybe it's enough to get them through these awful years. Their brains don't get consequences yet. I think they say 24 years old is when boys come back to earth. Girls maybe a little younger. There are no guarantees but there is always hope. [/QUOTE]
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