One I had just now, one last night. I wrote just a few moments ago about my Dad having responded to my sister-in-law's plea for him to have compassion for my brother as a good man by saying "I told her that I never was and never will be proud of my kids because perfection is the least I expect of them." I've had family friends ask why I am the odd man out when C is nearly 60 and never held a real job, married three times, accused of being a little too hands on with a teenage stepdaughter, etc.; W is working but unhappy and now on her third marriage; S is a drunk and not working and now on her third marriage, and T has never worked and moved to Florida with his family (we live in Oregon) to get away from all of us. I had always rationalized it with old things that I must have done to make him angry, but that's not it! It's that I am the happy one with a good first and only husband, a nice home, standing in the community, and good friends. But the worst of it all is that I have the nerve to have pride in myself and am able to move past the stupid stuff you do when you are 14 or 20, and that just cuts too deeply into his ego for me to be proud of myself. Second, I have been totally busy on learning a new skill, and utterly befuddled by it for weeks. I finally got it figured out last night, and then was making dinner for husband and I while he took out the trash and recyclables. I thought "We should have M over for dinner." I'm so insecure that I am always questioning my motives, so I found myself asking "Why?" The only answer was because I miss him and would like to see him and have a better relationship with him. So, I will be contacting M for a lunch date next week. I'll talk to him about letting go of the past and moving on. I can't let him feel like what's important for him to move on in life is whether I am proud of him or he thinks I love him. His life is about him being proud of himself and knowing that whatever anyone else thinks, at the end of the day you look yourself in the mirror. It's a self you should and can be proud of.