A Crushing Blow After a Dr's Office's Stupid Mistake

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Tiapet, Nov 26, 2013.

  1. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Well, about a month ago I went and had the CAT scan that the general surgeon my primary had sent me to ordered.

    Let's back up as to why I even had to go to general surgeon to begin with. I had an old primary care dr who for a year refused to listen to me about pain I was having, bloating in my stomach, etc. Just really ignored me. She's gone now and I'm seeing someone new in the practice. She's really nice. I went to her and the very 1st time I did and explained about the pain in my lower left pelvic area (how I can't walk at times because of it, etc), the bloating in my stomach, and I have this at least 6' oblong of my stomach in my belly button area and above that will stick out if the muscles get tense. I "thought" perhaps that part might actually be a tiny umbical hernia I knew I had that had grown. So she immediately set me up to go see this general surgeon.

    I saw this general surgeon who was an idiot and treated me like dog dodo. She was very rude and told me straight out she would have nothing to do with me and not touch me at all. Partly due to my complex health "not a candidate for surgery" (irregardless if the hernia was an issue or not) and partly because she was passing judgement on me A) for the medication I take and B) because of what I look like. FACT! RUDE>RUDE>RUDE! I walked out that day so mad it wasn't funny but she did at least pass me off and set me up for an abdominal and pelvic CAT scan so something came out of it.

    I had gotten a call back on a Monday after having the CAT on Thursday before. The nurse said that I MUST immediately go see a GYN because the scan showed a 1.5 lesion on my left ovary. Okay, that scared me a little but after doing a little research I got over it a bit. My normal GYN wasn't available so the nearest appointment I could get was going to be almost a month out. Today to be exact and with a new GYN.

    I go in there with a little apprehension to begin with as it's someone new. Sitting there talking with her and she says "you have a 5.1 cm lesion on your left ovary." I was like wait, what? It's not 1.5? They told me it was 1.5. She says no, it's 5.1! OMG.....that CHANGES everything! EVERYTHING! And she starts talking and going on and my brain is trying to take this in and it's spinning and it's really not. Until..........

    Until.....she says we have to set you up with a GYN oncologist! We're going to give you a CA125 test today and we're going to be seeking for it to be below 200. What the what???? Huh? HUH????

    My heads going a mile a minute thinking faster then our adhd kids'. I start spitting out information to her, some she had from my record. I have to get a mammorgram, an ultrasound, check with my heart dr for clearance for surgery, etc...She's not sure my heart will be even able to withstand the surgery. She's concerned for my bladder (other issues from past), the breast (re: my mothers recent battle with cancer and pagets disease). I'm like trying to take all this in. Then it's time to have the actual GYN exam. Of course they always ask if you're ok. I'm not and I tell her I'm not. She's nice, calm and sweet. Asks if there is anything she can do. I'm thankful that she is the way she is.

    I was still holding it together all the way through the office visit, checking out, down to the parking garage and then in the car I pick up my cell that I had forgotten to take in with me and call SO. I LOST IT....I don't call him at work unless I really have to. I just apologize to him for calling but could say no more but cry. He tries to get out of me what's going on and finally through broken tears I get it out to him.

    So now it's several hours later and I'm still shaken, still teary and having bouts on and off. I know there is nothing solid yet. More tests to go. I know I need surgery but still don't know if my heart will even allow it at this point in time. I have to see my GP this afternoon as well.

    We're about to head off this evening for a few days as a family. I planned this prior because something in my mind told me to do Thanksgiving differently this year and in a big way. I don't know why but it did and I listened. I paid for things a little at a time. I know the difficult children will argue and there will be spats and it will not go smoothly. I even gave ms emo the day off today because as of yesterday the weather decided to throw a loop and we had to adjust it ahead a day so it meant cramming everything ahead by a day. I knew my oldest needed help doing things since I can't do stuff and SO will be at work (which he said he would come home after my call but I WILL NOT have him do as he NEEDS to be there!). I sent mr busy off to school because he gets anxiety over any change in routine and as of last night he was already acting out because of the change in general and now the bump in schedule. That just caused all 3 difficult children to interact negatively. He doesn't know about this yet, not sure when we'll say anything. Girls know and they think we shouldn't say anything to him quite yet until we know for sure. A) because he doesn't really understand female anatomy and B) because he is "mamma's boy" besides doesn't take things real well. It would only serve for more time for him to be too anxious over. Maybe when we come back as the soonest? Maybe after tests come back? I don't know. Time and my instinct will lead me.

    For now it's going to be a little rocky.

  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Tia! Sending prayers that it is not awful! I know how scary this is. You will get through this. Stay strong and really enjoy the holiday.

    HUGS! I know...nothing I say will make you stop being scared, but many, many people have waited anxiously and had favorable results. Keep positive!
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    (((Hugs))) Wendy is right... you will get through this. Just remember to breath.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am so sorry. Remember you are not alone. You are in my heart and my prayers. You will get through this.
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Tia, I am so sorry to hear about this. I have to wonder if the new general doctor reacted so quickly because there was experience with taking over your old general's patients that showed he wasn't thorough. Some doctors are just idiots and other doctors know. Especially when one leaves their practice.

    I would wait for the test results to come back before you say anything to difficult child 3, and make certain that the girls know that you have a plan to tell him after you get your test results. I would begin preparing for that now. Contact your doctor's assistance and explain that you have a gifted child who will need careful explanation as to what to expect from your test results and you are waiting to say anything at all to him until you have materials and information that you need to help explain. Do they have brochures that explain even the most basic part of female anatomy. Do they have scenarios that you can run through before you talk to him so that you can be prepared to answer questions he may have without scaring him. Of course he and everyone is going to be scared, but anything you can do to make it clear will help with that.

    FWIW, if you get any more guff from an MD about your medical history in this journey, please remind them that having one issue or having a mental health issue does not exempt you from having another. I have Muscular Dystrophy. I also have a blood clotting disorder called Factor V Leiden. I have had medical professionals and others with MD say to me, "I don't think that people with MD get Factor V." Why not? You can't high blood pressure and be deaf as well? You can and do have two separate health issues that are not related.

    I had a wonderful MD years back who explained to me that during his residency he saw patients in the ER who were schizophrenic and would complain of the aliens in their belly or the thing that was implanted in their heads. He did order testing on them, much to the chagrin of his colleagues. Why? Because the alien in the belly or the implantation in the head was usually something that the patient just couldn't express in the way you or I do. Having mental health issues does not negate everything else. Shame on any doctor who practices medicine that way.
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2013
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Please know that I understand your fears and stress. It just amazes me how medical care in 2013 sometimes seems inferior to prior generations. With all the modern diagnostic equipment...it's just darn hard to get someone who will LISTEN and then address your concerns. I'm sorry!

    on the other hand your trip will give you a chance to enjoy a change of environment, get your mind off medical issues for awhile, and....get ready for the next stage of dealing with the health care professionals. Try to preplan who you can trust to take you in the best direction. Avoid, if at all possible, people who don't "see you" for who you are. It's really very important to have confidence in your caregivers. Hugs and prayers of support coming your way. DDD
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs, Tia. Keeping you in my prayers.
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Prayers lots of prayers and thousands of gentle hugs.
  9. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Sending many good thoughts and prayers your way...xoxo
  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding my thoughts and good wishes.

  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Tia, please take care and enjoy your vacation.

    Prayers and hugs heading in your direction!!!
  12. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I hope you can keep your mind off of things for a few days and enjoy your vacation. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  13. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Tia....Enjoy your holiday to the absolute fullest. I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's so scary. Sending many, many hugs and healing thoughts your way.
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs and please know you are in my prayers.
  15. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    ((hugs)) and good thoughts.

    I hope everything turns out ok.
  16. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    You're a wonderful person and a rock and I'm sorry you have to go through this at all. Please know I'll keep you in my prayers. Keep listening to your instincts, and stand up for yourself. Warm hugs going out to you.
  17. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    LOTS of hugs, prayers, and good vibes. It's awful... It is. No buts from me. I will say this though - enjoy your vacay! Calm your mind and think of what could go RIGHT.
  18. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Hugs, prayers, and positive thoughts for you
  19. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Positive thoughts and prayers being said... SFR
  20. Castle Queen

    Castle Queen Warrior in training

    Sending all the positive vibes I can muster and prayers your way...hang in there.