A different place in his life

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by KFld, Mar 2, 2007.

  1. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I called difficult child last night and he was in the apartment downstairs from the one he lives in, cooking dinner with his sponsor and his sponsors sponsor, who lives in the apartment downstairs. He seems to be spending a lot of time with the two of them and I realized last night that he is all of a sudden in a different place in his life, and it's a good one. I'm hoping this post will give hope to the members here who really feel it will never happen.
    Yesterday difficult child was 5 months clean!! He is working full time, living in the soberhouse, paying his own rent and besides waiting for the paternity test to come back, there is no drama in his life right now. He's just living and he's doing it in a healthy way and he's happy!!

    We have gone from talking everyday to calling each other every few days just to say hi! He's not calling asking for help or money :smile: He's truly made a new life for himself. I know he doesn't really have much in common with the roommates in his apartment, so maybe someday he'll even move downstairs with these people he seems to be spending so much time with. I'm glad there are 3 other apartments he can go visit, all of them filled with recovering addicts :smile:

    I just wanted to post this because all of a sudden after talking to him last night I just realized I feel at peace with how he's doing right now. I don't ever want to let go of the one day at a time and progress not perfection, because I know things can change in the matter of seconds. But, for today this is where he is and it's such a good feeling because for a long time I never thought this is where he would be.

    I know I don't even have to ask this, but please keep him in all of your prayers that he continues on this path for a very very long time, if not forever!!!
  2. amstrong

    amstrong New Member

    Of course you don't have to ask. I am praying for your difficult child, it seems he IS finally getting to a new place in his life. Kudos t him and prayers for continuance of this!
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Karen, one of the things that parenting Rob has taught me is *appreciation.* Appreciating the small moments as well as the big ones. Appreciating a 10 second reprieve from chaos, let alone a full day, or -dare we dream- a week. Appreciating a hug or an "I love you, Mom" made sweeter because of the millions of times they seemingly hated our guts.

    I hear your appreciation and it brings tears to my eyes because I understand.

    Yes, absolutely I'm sending good vibes and heartfelt prayers that this continues for your family.

  4. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>Karen, it is so good to hear the peace in your voice. I agree with Suz that you do appreciate the little bits of progress they make. I'm very happy for you and know I keep all our older difficult children in my thoughts. </span>
  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Karen, I am so glad that your difficult child is settling down and going about the business of recovery. I truly hope that this is a new way of life for him and that it continues. Thank you for sharing. -RM
  6. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I am so happy for both of you. a new start is inching along. letting you both remember who you used to be before all the madness started.

    ant will be home 6 months next week. he is still ant but a new improved version I can live with...lol
  7. KFld

    KFld New Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ant'smom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">.

    he is still ant but a new improved version I can live with...lol </div></div>

    We would never want them to lose who they really are, we just want that person to come out of hiding :smile:
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    That's terrific, Karen. The pattern sounds like the natural progression toward maturity....something that difficult children rarely begin
    to exhibit so young. I remember when our lst went to FSU, she
    called every night. By the beginning of her 2nd year we heard from her when she wanted more money or something major was going
    on. By then #2 was at UofF and we started the process again.

    You're kid is doing well and you should feel proud! DDD
  9. AliceLee

    AliceLee New Member

    Karen, your post brought tears (of happiness for you, but <u>especially</u> for your son) to my eyes! I know that happiness can be fleeting, but boy, is nice when it's here! I will continue to keep you both in my prayers.
  10. catwoman

    catwoman New Member

    Thanks for a great post, it really made me happy for you!
  11. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Who's got a tissue! Thank you Karen for sharing, we forget that these feelings deserve to be posted as much as the drama we mostly post about.

    My signature says'

    "I am still waiting for the man I raised to let go of the monster inside of him"

    I know he is in there.

    husband and I just had a bit of a tiff over the "little things" yesterday morning. He is frustrated that difficult child is not working, I reminded him that he just started this program and that he is doing little things in the house without being asked, dishes, shoveling, vaccuming, he babysits when we ask and has been keeping the basement pretty much cleaned. husband is not impressed because he feels that he should be doing these things because he is not working and we support him etc... BUT for difficult child it is huge, there was a time that he didnt even get out of bed until we got home from work, and then he just ate made a mess and went out again to do whatever and he would show back up whenever, now he is home pretty much everynite and I dont have to worry all night.

    Its the littlest normal things that we appreciate with difficult child like ours.

  12. judi

    judi Active Member

    Karen - I'm glad for you and for your son, for the normalcy of things. You are so right - this is huge. Thanks for the hope.
  13. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Karen what a wonderful place you are in today! I think I speak for everyone here that you and your son are in our thoughts and prayers.
    We are all wishing for the best results when the test come back. I pray that whatever happens it will be dealt with with understanding and the knowledge that sometimes he works in mysterious ways and we will see the blessing from his decisions, in his time not our own.

    So glad your son is where he is! Thanks for sharing your happiness!!
  14. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Praying your son remains clean and the healing continues. I'm so happy for the peace you found.

  15. Loris

    Loris New Member

    What an awesome post. I pray it continues! May the peace in your life continue!
  16. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Thanks for all the prayers and good wishes. He told me last night that 2 people are moving out of his apartment and he's actually moving into a private bedroom, so he's looking forward to that. This will be the first time in a long time he hasn't had to share a room with a stranger. One of the people moving out is the one who has been there a long time and makes everyone who moves in feel like he owns the place and they are visitors, so I know he's looking forward to him leaving. I'm going up to see him for a little while this morning and have breakfast.
  17. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    The dark times we have really help us to appreciate every little ounce of wonderfulness, even the smallest thing. Glad everyhting is going well!-Alyssa
  18. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    A wonderful update. I hope difficult child can stay on this path of recovery. And you must remember, you've come a very long way too. This has been a period of growth for both of you. :biggrin:

  19. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    This is such an awesome post. I'm so happy not only for your difficult child but for your whole family.
  20. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    Thank goodness you have found some peace in your life.

    Your son should be very proud of himself having 5 months sobriety under his belt. He is doing great. Hopefully he will prefer this life and stay this course forever.