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A different school battle
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 446996" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>That's very sweet of you, but I don't think the local school would say I have good people skills! </p><p></p><p>They do seem to be pushing you hard to pull him out, and that is wrong. Short of the calling up the chain of command I suggested, pointing out that they are ignoring the IEP (so what is the value of an IEP if it cannot be enforced?) or going to the media, I'm not sure how you can help your son.</p><p></p><p>As I said in the other thread - the important thing here, is what is the best overall for the child? And the extracurricular stuff would be good, but it seems to me you have to let that go in order for him to have a chance of learning the academic stuff he needs, in home. With the problems with English, for example, it sounds like he did not get to do the groundwork when he was younger. He may not have been receptive, he may not have understood it or he may have (for whatever reason) missed those classes. But in a home environment you are better placed to give him the individual remedial lessons. DVDs are good. Working with him will be good.</p><p></p><p>Another thing you could try - pull him out short-term, tell the school it is a very unsatisfactory short-term solution but one you feel forced into (ie you are not doing this willingly but under protest and coercion by their failure to meet his needs despite repeated requests in writing for them to comply with the IEP). In the meantime, work on your members of parliament to strengthen the laws so the IEP can be made legally enforceable. Let the education authorities know of your moves at every step - let them see you lobby and let them worry about the long-term implications of your efforts, and that perhaps it would look a whole lot better for them to step up and do their job, and not have to be forced into it by legislation.</p><p></p><p>Using the media to publicise the cause and recruit others to the cause can produce a groundswell of public opinion that can galvanise action.</p><p></p><p>You don't have to be an expert. You will become an expert. But you do have to keep persisting. And in the meantime, your child needs an education.</p><p></p><p>If you have the strength to persist, then go for it. It also sends a strong message to your child, that he IS worth all this effort.</p><p></p><p>if you don't feel you have the strength, don't bite off more than you can chew. But you may find it easier than you think. Because you can't be the only parent out there fighting this battle. Find others (and publicity in the papers will do that for you) and suddenly you have an active support network.</p><p></p><p>But always - think of the child, and the best overall options for him. It would be ideal if he could have the extracurricular stuff, but schools can find a way to weasel out of that too. Mainstream is no guarantee. difficult child 1 was in the school band, played drums. We spent money on sticks, practice pad etc as requested, we did everything, got him to school for rehearsals. The following year he was dropped. No reason given other than "we're giving another boy a turn." But the other boy stayed in the position a year later, there was no turn taking happening. No, we could only conclude they had found their own way to get rid of difficult child 1.</p><p></p><p>What they are doing is dirty pool, unfair play and to keep letting them do it is doing damage to you and to the child. Who says the IEP is not legally enforceable, by the way? The school? I would investigate this, because I suspect somewhere in your country's legislation, there is a law that covers this. Human rights. Anti-discrimination. Access to education. In loco parentis (the school is reponsible for the child's welfare when there is a legal requirement for the child to be in school until a certain age; it brings implied responsibility to the school to ensure the child is not experiencing discrimination and is being given fair access to the same resources as others).</p><p></p><p>Again, ask your local MP to help you fight this. Point out that there are votes in this, a lot of other parents suffer the same battles but don't know who to ask for help. And your MP is honour-bound to help you. He IS your elected parliamentary representative, therefore YOUR servant.</p><p></p><p>If you do nothing else, try the MP. And put everything in writing. Emails do count as putting it in writing. Keep copies, keep a diary of who you talk to and when, plus what was said. I usually have a text file on the computer open and I type, as I talk on the phone. It is a valuable resource if later on the person I spoke to claims they never said something, or has no recollection of our call. I provide minutes! It scares people into compliance!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 446996, member: 1991"] That's very sweet of you, but I don't think the local school would say I have good people skills! They do seem to be pushing you hard to pull him out, and that is wrong. Short of the calling up the chain of command I suggested, pointing out that they are ignoring the IEP (so what is the value of an IEP if it cannot be enforced?) or going to the media, I'm not sure how you can help your son. As I said in the other thread - the important thing here, is what is the best overall for the child? And the extracurricular stuff would be good, but it seems to me you have to let that go in order for him to have a chance of learning the academic stuff he needs, in home. With the problems with English, for example, it sounds like he did not get to do the groundwork when he was younger. He may not have been receptive, he may not have understood it or he may have (for whatever reason) missed those classes. But in a home environment you are better placed to give him the individual remedial lessons. DVDs are good. Working with him will be good. Another thing you could try - pull him out short-term, tell the school it is a very unsatisfactory short-term solution but one you feel forced into (ie you are not doing this willingly but under protest and coercion by their failure to meet his needs despite repeated requests in writing for them to comply with the IEP). In the meantime, work on your members of parliament to strengthen the laws so the IEP can be made legally enforceable. Let the education authorities know of your moves at every step - let them see you lobby and let them worry about the long-term implications of your efforts, and that perhaps it would look a whole lot better for them to step up and do their job, and not have to be forced into it by legislation. Using the media to publicise the cause and recruit others to the cause can produce a groundswell of public opinion that can galvanise action. You don't have to be an expert. You will become an expert. But you do have to keep persisting. And in the meantime, your child needs an education. If you have the strength to persist, then go for it. It also sends a strong message to your child, that he IS worth all this effort. if you don't feel you have the strength, don't bite off more than you can chew. But you may find it easier than you think. Because you can't be the only parent out there fighting this battle. Find others (and publicity in the papers will do that for you) and suddenly you have an active support network. But always - think of the child, and the best overall options for him. It would be ideal if he could have the extracurricular stuff, but schools can find a way to weasel out of that too. Mainstream is no guarantee. difficult child 1 was in the school band, played drums. We spent money on sticks, practice pad etc as requested, we did everything, got him to school for rehearsals. The following year he was dropped. No reason given other than "we're giving another boy a turn." But the other boy stayed in the position a year later, there was no turn taking happening. No, we could only conclude they had found their own way to get rid of difficult child 1. What they are doing is dirty pool, unfair play and to keep letting them do it is doing damage to you and to the child. Who says the IEP is not legally enforceable, by the way? The school? I would investigate this, because I suspect somewhere in your country's legislation, there is a law that covers this. Human rights. Anti-discrimination. Access to education. In loco parentis (the school is reponsible for the child's welfare when there is a legal requirement for the child to be in school until a certain age; it brings implied responsibility to the school to ensure the child is not experiencing discrimination and is being given fair access to the same resources as others). Again, ask your local MP to help you fight this. Point out that there are votes in this, a lot of other parents suffer the same battles but don't know who to ask for help. And your MP is honour-bound to help you. He IS your elected parliamentary representative, therefore YOUR servant. If you do nothing else, try the MP. And put everything in writing. Emails do count as putting it in writing. Keep copies, keep a diary of who you talk to and when, plus what was said. I usually have a text file on the computer open and I type, as I talk on the phone. It is a valuable resource if later on the person I spoke to claims they never said something, or has no recollection of our call. I provide minutes! It scares people into compliance! Marg [/QUOTE]
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