A discreet post on "little"difficult child's sexuality concepts...Good Grief!

DDD

Well-Known Member
difficult child's disability got cut off a month ago. GFGmom had a form that she swears she mailed in for him but they didn't receive it. I usually don't believe her but because it is $$'s I tend to think she's telling the truth. SO...GFGmom and her boyfriend have had to cover the rent etc. waiting for him to be reinstated. Since she and boyfriend (and of course difficult child and easy child/difficult child) are ADHD getting all the new paperwork and appointments in has been difficult. I've stayed out of it except for breaking my own cardinal rule and fronting the money for the power company. It's been in the 20's and 30's a heck of alot of the time here in sunny Fl and the bill was over $300. Once again I accepted a solemn promise of repay from GFGmom when her income tax refund arrives and she provided a specific date. I'm fairly confident she won't try to shaft me again. on the other hand, they would have been with-o electricity and then had huge reconnect fees. Didn't make sense and the power company would not accept a partial payment. Seriously...life is rough for people on the financial edge. We are having money problems this year due to the economy and over a 50% sales decline at the business but...electricity is a necessity. We'll see.

I do smile at your posts, Janet, because you "know" GFGmom almost as well as I do. LOL DDD
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
LOL...Well, we have been around a long time DDD. Goodness, I think your grandson was around 14!

They must have really got that paperwork messed up for them to completely cut it off. I imagine what they did was "forget" to send in the annual payee paper that is supposed to be sent in. What is bad about that is that you can forget one and they dont come down on you...they just send another one with a tsk tsk letter and say...now honey...could you pretty please fill this one out by the end of next month? Then if it isnt in their office by about the 15th of the month after they ask for it...they send a letter saying...if its not in our office in 10 days your case will be cut off. So in essence you have darned near 5 months from the time the first report was sent to you...lmao.

I know this because Cory's payee report was sent to my house the November I was in the hospital. Like I was in any condition to know what it was! No one here had any clue and just stuck all my mail in a pile. When I got out of the hospital I still wasnt in much of a condition to handle things really. I was still in that toddler state of mind from the brain issues. About two months after I got home, I got another payee report and just filled it out and sent it in. Later I found the first one! Oops!~
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
DDD, why doesn't difficult child get services for his AS? Lots of public programs that may help him.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
Great question, Fran. Where we live there are no support services available. The closest AS program is 1.5 hours away. I am basically out of the picture since his GFGmom took him to her house before his senior year. What I have done is keep him going to Voc/Rehab which linked him to a woman who helps him find employment (and provides supports like your son some years ago although not that sophisticated). He has been floundering since he moved out of our home three years ago. He had no hands on guidance or support from his Mom. She is chaotic and just doesn't "get it". Furthrmore, she absolutely does not want him living at her house. Her favorite statement is "he is an adult and needs to be on his own", As has been her way of life she robs Peter to pay Paul and borrows from others to stay afloat. husband and I are actually suprised that she is covering expenses to keep him in the apt. waiting for his reinstatement.

I am doing all I can do. Of course, it is not enough. I make sure he gets to his mental health counseling sessions which GFGmom finally got arranged at a clinic one city N of us. He "likes" his counselor but based on what I've ben able to find out the counselor is not really adequately trained for complex issues like his. I think he just likes having someone who will listen to him....regardless of how pointless his ramblings may be. The clinic is also prescribing his medications (and have added one) and although I don't know so...I don't think they have a qualified psychiatrist who is calling the shots.

He is attached to me and husband. He is more attached to his GFGmom. Her way is to leave him be and then jump in when an obvious crisis presents. With money, for example, both husband and I have spent time alone with him explaining how he will or could benefit from having one of us on a joint account. He appears to see the rationale but he prefers the idea of his Mom taking his check, paying the bills and then giving him some spending money which he uses to buy cigarettes and power drinks and treats for others. Arg! There is a complete lack of direction. It's all impulse...just like Mom.

I am calling the job coach with leads for her to explore. I am asking him if he is taking his medications. (He's taking them most of the time but evidently is taking them all together when he wakes up which is often afternoon since he stays up all night with girlfriend and company(. Can you imagine? He's taking his ADHD medication, his risperdal and his sleep medications all at once! Yikes.

It is a very ugly and dangerous situation but I don't think I can do more. husband and I really can not invite him to come home because we are using all our energy working each day and hit the hay around 8 at night. It just wouldn't work. DDD
 
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