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Substance Abuse
A few questions for those who have been there done that.....
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 544259" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Hello again, and thank you! </p><p></p><p>Exhausted - difficult child has never been on medications. He didn't really need them, although with this drastic change in behaviour in the last year I have changed my mind about that now. He went from being a compliant, easy-going, friendly kid who kind of marched to his own beat to a belligerent, angry, disrespectful teenager in a matter of months. </p><p></p><p>Initially I suspected drug use because of the drastic change but a drug test came back negative. </p><p></p><p>The first two days he was gone with our permission (staying at a friends and then a concert to go to and was too far to come home so he stayed with another friend overnight). Then he just didn't come home because he wants to be with his friends. It's like he can't miss out on anything - if there's a couple of people getting together he HAS to be there, if there's a party he CANT miss it, if someone is going to the mall he has to go too. So, he was partying - although he says he's been feeling a lot of rage all week and is very angry and depressed and can't seem to get it under control - scary. </p><p></p><p>He skipped about 20% of his classes this past semester - unusual behaviour for him. Almost failed most of his subjects and would have but I helped him get through is final exams - and he's VERY smart so studying is easy. He aced his exams and that got him through. He says he is going to buckle down this coming year because in Grade 11 the marks count towards college and university. I'm not sure he is capable of buckling down because of his self-indulgent, instant gratification nature. </p><p></p><p>He does seem to be turning into a runner. He tried to run at midnight last night but I talked him out of it and got him calmed down and a decent night's sleep (he doesn't sleep right anymore either - not sure if this is a porn addiction which he's had issues with before or legitimate insomnia). Once he left the first time in April he was gone for 4 weeks, home for a week and gone for a couple more weeks after that. He's been home since the end of May. Last week he went on a tirade for no good reason and left the house. We went and picked him up that night. Then again last night we had the argument and he was ready to take off again. </p><p></p><p>So frustrating. I have zero control at this point. He says he wants us to parent him but he won't accept any parenting. I think by parenting he means laundry, food, rides, etc.. He is bound and determined to do whatever he wants to do regardless of any boundaries we set down. Our options are limited because he is 16 and can legally leave home if he wants to - we can't force him into any kind of treatment unless he is proven to be a danger to himself or others - and that will only be a 72 hour hold. </p><p></p><p>Calamity - The psychiatrist appointment will be our first appointment. The doctor referred us to a paediatrician first and they wanted to set up that appointment for November! Ah! I said No way, this won't wait that long. So, I got a referral to the paediatrician for Aug 11 and pushed my hardest for the psychiatrist on Aug 13. I'm hoping that after that we can start to make some progress. </p><p></p><p>I love this kid so much but he is tearing our family apart. My easy child daughter is upset all the time - can't stand him to be around and wants us to kick him out so we can have some peace in our home. I hate that she feels that way. And husband has just about reached his limit of patience. difficult child thinks nothing of telling him to shut the f up or calling me a B and husband has no patience for that at all - especially when difficult child is disrespectful to me. </p><p></p><p>Maybe some kind of support group like Families Anon would help us take some of our lives back in the midst of all this chaos. </p><p></p><p>I wouldn't call him an drug/alcohol addict at this point but he seems to be headed in that direction and I suspect a porn addiction although all I can prove is that he spends a lot of time using data on his cell phone between midnight and 5 am. And I know porn has been a problem before. </p><p></p><p>I spoke to a counsellor who works with kids and wants to see difficult child after we see the psychiatrist - he believes difficult child is high risk for addiction. </p><p></p><p>As parents we know we have to keep struggling to help them and/or get them help but this is so very hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 544259, member: 14356"] Hello again, and thank you! Exhausted - difficult child has never been on medications. He didn't really need them, although with this drastic change in behaviour in the last year I have changed my mind about that now. He went from being a compliant, easy-going, friendly kid who kind of marched to his own beat to a belligerent, angry, disrespectful teenager in a matter of months. Initially I suspected drug use because of the drastic change but a drug test came back negative. The first two days he was gone with our permission (staying at a friends and then a concert to go to and was too far to come home so he stayed with another friend overnight). Then he just didn't come home because he wants to be with his friends. It's like he can't miss out on anything - if there's a couple of people getting together he HAS to be there, if there's a party he CANT miss it, if someone is going to the mall he has to go too. So, he was partying - although he says he's been feeling a lot of rage all week and is very angry and depressed and can't seem to get it under control - scary. He skipped about 20% of his classes this past semester - unusual behaviour for him. Almost failed most of his subjects and would have but I helped him get through is final exams - and he's VERY smart so studying is easy. He aced his exams and that got him through. He says he is going to buckle down this coming year because in Grade 11 the marks count towards college and university. I'm not sure he is capable of buckling down because of his self-indulgent, instant gratification nature. He does seem to be turning into a runner. He tried to run at midnight last night but I talked him out of it and got him calmed down and a decent night's sleep (he doesn't sleep right anymore either - not sure if this is a porn addiction which he's had issues with before or legitimate insomnia). Once he left the first time in April he was gone for 4 weeks, home for a week and gone for a couple more weeks after that. He's been home since the end of May. Last week he went on a tirade for no good reason and left the house. We went and picked him up that night. Then again last night we had the argument and he was ready to take off again. So frustrating. I have zero control at this point. He says he wants us to parent him but he won't accept any parenting. I think by parenting he means laundry, food, rides, etc.. He is bound and determined to do whatever he wants to do regardless of any boundaries we set down. Our options are limited because he is 16 and can legally leave home if he wants to - we can't force him into any kind of treatment unless he is proven to be a danger to himself or others - and that will only be a 72 hour hold. Calamity - The psychiatrist appointment will be our first appointment. The doctor referred us to a paediatrician first and they wanted to set up that appointment for November! Ah! I said No way, this won't wait that long. So, I got a referral to the paediatrician for Aug 11 and pushed my hardest for the psychiatrist on Aug 13. I'm hoping that after that we can start to make some progress. I love this kid so much but he is tearing our family apart. My easy child daughter is upset all the time - can't stand him to be around and wants us to kick him out so we can have some peace in our home. I hate that she feels that way. And husband has just about reached his limit of patience. difficult child thinks nothing of telling him to shut the f up or calling me a B and husband has no patience for that at all - especially when difficult child is disrespectful to me. Maybe some kind of support group like Families Anon would help us take some of our lives back in the midst of all this chaos. I wouldn't call him an drug/alcohol addict at this point but he seems to be headed in that direction and I suspect a porn addiction although all I can prove is that he spends a lot of time using data on his cell phone between midnight and 5 am. And I know porn has been a problem before. I spoke to a counsellor who works with kids and wants to see difficult child after we see the psychiatrist - he believes difficult child is high risk for addiction. As parents we know we have to keep struggling to help them and/or get them help but this is so very hard. [/QUOTE]
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A few questions for those who have been there done that.....
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