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Parent Emeritus
A few thoughts on detachment, from the difficult child side of the fence. It's a GOOD THING!
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 613910" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>hmm...that is a very good point. I forget sometimes that I was a difficult child...smoking pot every day before school in 8th grade, pregnant in 9th (and again 1t 19), promiscuous, reckless, drunk into stupor, speed till my nose bled, dated a coke dealer , bulemic, suicide attempt in college, dropped out, went back...depressed and angry...and then at some point in my late 20's I kind of ...got it. That I am responsible for other people, lots of other people, family, friends, strangers. That my choices matter. That I am obliged to do my best. </p><p>I will say that my parents had no active role in that transformation. They had along ago benignly faded into the background, and did not manage my life at all.</p><p>So...that is interesting to remember.</p><p></p><p>and yet...I also do not think that it will work out for all of our difficult child's. In fact, one of the dumber things people can say is "I'm sure it will all work out" or I'm sure he will find himself" or other optimistic platitudes that have no role in my life.</p><p></p><p>So I don't know.</p><p></p><p>But I do know I had to fix myself or not get fixed. And the same is true for our difficult children/</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 613910, member: 17269"] hmm...that is a very good point. I forget sometimes that I was a difficult child...smoking pot every day before school in 8th grade, pregnant in 9th (and again 1t 19), promiscuous, reckless, drunk into stupor, speed till my nose bled, dated a coke dealer , bulemic, suicide attempt in college, dropped out, went back...depressed and angry...and then at some point in my late 20's I kind of ...got it. That I am responsible for other people, lots of other people, family, friends, strangers. That my choices matter. That I am obliged to do my best. I will say that my parents had no active role in that transformation. They had along ago benignly faded into the background, and did not manage my life at all. So...that is interesting to remember. and yet...I also do not think that it will work out for all of our difficult child's. In fact, one of the dumber things people can say is "I'm sure it will all work out" or I'm sure he will find himself" or other optimistic platitudes that have no role in my life. So I don't know. But I do know I had to fix myself or not get fixed. And the same is true for our difficult children/ [/QUOTE]
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A few thoughts on detachment, from the difficult child side of the fence. It's a GOOD THING!
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