So... my son (who I have not heard from since early last week's staffing when he was beyond surly) called this evening. He only calls when he wants something anymore. I suspect tonight's call was to save his bacon. From what, I'm not too sure (and pretty positive I probably don't want to know).
He's been on SSI since first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement (he's considered "on his own" and therefore qualifies financially). Prior to this placement, SSI went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to assist with funding and they doled out allowance. Unfortuantely, in TLP he gets the whole banana. I think it's beyond wrong, but... there it is.
That's almost $700 a month he gets to spend on himself. He has to spend it because there's a limit on what he can have on hand. TLP staff handle it - not my problem. So he had to dump a lot of $$ and has been itching to get a laptop. CM took him out and got one for him.... oh, about 3 weeks ago.
Call tonight with no opening pleasantries. He thinks laptop was "stolen" by a peer and staff wants to call police. thank you doesn't want police involved. Red flags anyone? He wants me to "tell" staff not to call police.
How much was it, thank you? He tells me. I pick jaw up off floor (silently). Uhhh, did you like it thank you? "Well, I thought it would be fun but it really wasn't so I really don't care that it's gone."
Hmmm... so is this a kid who is so utterly clueless that he's ... clueless? Does he value absolutely *nothing* in his life? Or is this perhaps a case of he didn't actually work to earn it so no big deal? It's all disposable? Or perhaps is this a case of he pawned it for I don't want to know what? Or maybe one of his peers who he keeps borrowing money from (for, again, I don't want to know what) get fed up and demand payment?
So he puts staff on, C, who asks me how I'm doing. I burst out laughing, only slightly hysterically.
Neither one of us can figure out what could possibly be going on in my son's head. But the one thing I'm positive of is he's lying like a rug. This is a kid who holds *everyone* to the very letter of every law, yet he's totally nonchalant about this very major loss and what he should be perceiving, given past history, as a major wrong.
C explains that house policy is to contact police for losses like this because they've had amazing success in recovering items from various pawn shops. However, usually the victimized client is a willing participant.
So... I tell C that we're going to respect thank you's wishes. This whole thing stinks to high heaven and I seriously doubt there's a chance we'll get to the bottom of it. No police but thank you is to never mention this again, not to me, not to staff, not to suspected peer. His choice, his problem. A dumb choice, but... I really think he got himself jammed up and instead of being forthcoming and asking for help, he's turtling.
I hate that I really don't *know* for sure if thank you's just making really poor choices or if he's being taken advantage of. I do know that pigs will fly before he will admit the latter because he knows it all, only needs his friends, doesn't need anyone else because he can handle it on his own. I also know that trying to crack that attitude will be useless and will only make him angrier with me (and he's pretty ticked already for reasons known only to him).
He gets back on the phone and I tell him what C and I have decided, and is that okay with him. "yeah, bye mom". Sigh.... guess I was at least useful this evening.
He's been on SSI since first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement (he's considered "on his own" and therefore qualifies financially). Prior to this placement, SSI went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to assist with funding and they doled out allowance. Unfortuantely, in TLP he gets the whole banana. I think it's beyond wrong, but... there it is.
That's almost $700 a month he gets to spend on himself. He has to spend it because there's a limit on what he can have on hand. TLP staff handle it - not my problem. So he had to dump a lot of $$ and has been itching to get a laptop. CM took him out and got one for him.... oh, about 3 weeks ago.
Call tonight with no opening pleasantries. He thinks laptop was "stolen" by a peer and staff wants to call police. thank you doesn't want police involved. Red flags anyone? He wants me to "tell" staff not to call police.
How much was it, thank you? He tells me. I pick jaw up off floor (silently). Uhhh, did you like it thank you? "Well, I thought it would be fun but it really wasn't so I really don't care that it's gone."
Hmmm... so is this a kid who is so utterly clueless that he's ... clueless? Does he value absolutely *nothing* in his life? Or is this perhaps a case of he didn't actually work to earn it so no big deal? It's all disposable? Or perhaps is this a case of he pawned it for I don't want to know what? Or maybe one of his peers who he keeps borrowing money from (for, again, I don't want to know what) get fed up and demand payment?
So he puts staff on, C, who asks me how I'm doing. I burst out laughing, only slightly hysterically.
Neither one of us can figure out what could possibly be going on in my son's head. But the one thing I'm positive of is he's lying like a rug. This is a kid who holds *everyone* to the very letter of every law, yet he's totally nonchalant about this very major loss and what he should be perceiving, given past history, as a major wrong. C explains that house policy is to contact police for losses like this because they've had amazing success in recovering items from various pawn shops. However, usually the victimized client is a willing participant.
So... I tell C that we're going to respect thank you's wishes. This whole thing stinks to high heaven and I seriously doubt there's a chance we'll get to the bottom of it. No police but thank you is to never mention this again, not to me, not to staff, not to suspected peer. His choice, his problem. A dumb choice, but... I really think he got himself jammed up and instead of being forthcoming and asking for help, he's turtling.
I hate that I really don't *know* for sure if thank you's just making really poor choices or if he's being taken advantage of. I do know that pigs will fly before he will admit the latter because he knows it all, only needs his friends, doesn't need anyone else because he can handle it on his own. I also know that trying to crack that attitude will be useless and will only make him angrier with me (and he's pretty ticked already for reasons known only to him).
He gets back on the phone and I tell him what C and I have decided, and is that okay with him. "yeah, bye mom". Sigh.... guess I was at least useful this evening.
I have been able to verify that in fact my son knows *exactly* where his laptop went, and it went either to pay a debt or, in his words, as part of a "bargain". This whole theft thing was total bologna. I'm relieved because I started worrying about all kinds of things this morning relating to him being in jeopardy.
