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A good reality check for me
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 481828" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>It's hard to resist the urge to check up on them constantly, and follow every step of their recovery, to make sure they're "doing it right." But you're right, it's not our business. It falls into the category of "you're working harder than she is." When you obsess over whether she's doing this, or not doing that, you only make yourself crazy, and it won't ultimately change the outcome. Only she can do that. </p><p></p><p>I have to chuckle at her hanging out with mostly men, though. I can empathize becuase I personally get along with men better than I get along with most women, and have more male friends than female, so this doesn't seem odd to me at all. But I'm not her, and her motives may be different as you say. At any rate, hey, at least they're in the program.</p><p></p><p>Try to get busy with your own recovery. If you can't find a good Al-Anon meeting where you're comfortable, maybe just reading their literaure will help for now. The book "Codependent No More" is helpful as well. The more you focus on yourself and not her, the better you'll get at remembering that it's not your job to make sure she follows her recovery program.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 481828, member: 1157"] It's hard to resist the urge to check up on them constantly, and follow every step of their recovery, to make sure they're "doing it right." But you're right, it's not our business. It falls into the category of "you're working harder than she is." When you obsess over whether she's doing this, or not doing that, you only make yourself crazy, and it won't ultimately change the outcome. Only she can do that. I have to chuckle at her hanging out with mostly men, though. I can empathize becuase I personally get along with men better than I get along with most women, and have more male friends than female, so this doesn't seem odd to me at all. But I'm not her, and her motives may be different as you say. At any rate, hey, at least they're in the program. Try to get busy with your own recovery. If you can't find a good Al-Anon meeting where you're comfortable, maybe just reading their literaure will help for now. The book "Codependent No More" is helpful as well. The more you focus on yourself and not her, the better you'll get at remembering that it's not your job to make sure she follows her recovery program. [/QUOTE]
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A good reality check for me
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