A good sign & a bad sign????

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Mar 22, 2011.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Yesterday boss and I never said one word to each other and I actually got a lot of work done! Today, I got an email from him responding to my email from last week while I was out of town. I waited a bit, read it again, and sent him a thought-out response. It seemed we could work details out (he's calmed down a lot now and hasn't been yelling and is back to seeming reasonable) except for him saying I should arrive at "this" exact time when I go out of town and leave at "that" exact time. He knows I can't make that happen- at least not in any feasible way- plus it all adds up to be the same if I skip lunch the days I travel and work later or earlier- the hours come out to be the same. So I responded back explaining what he said he didn't understand (why there are certain things I can only do from the hotel on the issued laptop), outlining how I am typically spending days on these trips (if he read my trip documentation that I'm required to submit he'd already know), saying it was fine with me if he preferred I change "A" & "B"- I'll be happy to do that; then I outlined the exact hours spent traveling, checking in at hotel, traveling to and from property, and hours I work at property on days I travel so he could see that it totaled to be the same. Then I wrote that I can't get there at exactly "A" without major complications but would be happy to compromise or negotiate some other solution. He hasn't responded to that yet but we did email about some other "normal" work correspondence- and we actually said about 2 sentences to each other this afternoon, which I initiated. LOL!!

    So, I think, the good news is that my job isn't hanging by a torn thread right now and that boss realizes he yelled a little too much over nothing and is making an effort to get along and work things out.

    But that means the bad news is that this guy really does have that major of an anger management issue, doesn't it? I'm thinking since I know he's done this sort of koi with others over things that most wouldn't consider any big problem, and he goes off without a secs notice then keeps making issue for days or weeks- yelling, smirking, manipulating, instigating, etc- wouldn't that point to an anger management issue?
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member


    Just wondering ... do you think all of your work with-your difficult child has helped you with-your relationship with-your boss? My quick answer would be "Yes."

    Texting and emailing are helpful for people with-anger issues. Keep up the good work.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think you just have to learn to deal with him. There is an old adage about jobs. "poop rolls down hill" I would hazard a guess that when he gets yelled at about something he targets you as his whipping girl because he has seen that it gets to you. If you can figure out how to become completely neutral or become his buddy, I think this would stop.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I wonder if it's not actually an anger problem...but something going on "behind the scenes" that you do not know about. As Janet suggested, he may be getting grief over your hours because it costs XXX to pay you....and so he turns around to yell about your hours because HIS boss said there was a problem...

    So many companies are hanging on by a thread these days - there's a lot of stress to go around...

    And when there is an overage or a budget shortfall or unforeseen delays - businesses are panicking because there is no margin for error left any more.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    No- it can't be that. First of all, I get in my hours, secondly, his boss is out of state and wouldn't have a clue what is going on here.

    But it's horrible now- I went in this morning to find an email boss had sent me and upper management after working hours yesterday. It has a list of things I've supposedly done wrong since November. It has about 4-5 things listed and while one might be true, he never said anything about it until now. The worst part though is that the others are either a down-right lie or greatly exagerated and says these were reprted by coworker (listed by name- aka "drug-boy"). Then he says he will need to discuss things with me because it's important that he trust his staff.

    I'm just home quickly for lunch right now so can't get into details and hope I can have until tomorrow to respond to that email so I can look into a couple of things before responding. The problem is that I am afraid to say anything other than just agree with him but I'm sure not going to agree when I KNOW either he or drug-boy or both are lieing and it's discrediting me, making me look bad, and probably going to get me fired. But it does appear to be eveidence (not like legal evidence but proof to me) that he and drug boy have something going on to cover each other's rear. Funny how drug boy talks aboiut boss behind his back just like everyone else and still acts friendly toward me, yet I know boss wouldn't have mentioned his name in that email if he wasn't sure that drug boy would back him up- and drug boy will- he does whatever he wants, comes in 1/2 late most the time, etc, and never has to worry about a thing.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Keep your emotions in check and stick to the facts. He's using stealth tactics. Most Board members won't remember the old show Dragnet but the key phrase was "just the facts, Madam, nothing but the facts". Good choice for now. DDD
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I started a draft email last night stating that I do not agree with the representation of the facts as boss presented them and although I understand that due to our different positions and time working for this company upper management would give him the benefit of the doubt, I would be submitting a statement disputing these facts for my record. And I included a brief statement that given the current situation and previous results of discussing minor concerns with boss, I was afraid to discuss these more major issues with him and that is why I told him yesterday that I will not meet with him about this. Also, I mentioned that since my job was currently on the line, I needed confirmation if they wanted me to continue with travel plans for work.

    Then, I got up early this morning, went to work early, and only client's rep was there. I mentioned the email I'd gotten from boss and client's rep already knew about it. He said he'd never seen any big problem but said it was his understanding that the company boss and I work for would be sending me a letter soon. I told him that was the first I'd heard about that but I wasn't surprised because I'd had a feeling for a long time that boss wanted me out of there. Client's rep said he didn't think so and that letter was just a warning. The he said since he'd only seen one problema t all and that was the arguement that Fri. over a project that he really thought boss and I could work things out. I said I didn't think we could because I'm afraid tto talk to him and then I told him about the way bboss had me call that lady, put her on speaker phone to ask her questions, then after we're off phone and rep came back, presented it to rep completely differently than it actually happened- making the lady look bad and discrediting her and getting back up from others. I told rep that is what boss does and the only way to stay in good graces with him is to go along with that stuff and if a person doesn't, he does it to them- and that's what is going on now with me. So, I asked client's rep if I could use him as a reference for future employment and he said I could. Then, I finalized that email to respond to boss/upper management of our company and started doing my job.

    Also, last night, I reviewed policy manual for company and found a grievance procedure and it says grievances will be investigated and kept confidential, not even going in the complaintant's file. I figured I'd get a statement together over the weekend responding to each of boss's accusations, one by one, and send that "for the record" to boss and company on Monday. Then, since I can get evidence for at least part of boss's false allegations proving they can't be true, I'd put together a grievance form and attachments and my grievence would be that boss is suddenly sending out a list of things he never made issue over before as retaliation, and further at least half are completely false, with proof attached. Why would he retaliate and how do I prove that? I can't directly, however, he hasn't complained about anyone else doing these things and he mentioned something about us getting in that "discussion", then client's rep said the only big problem he'd seen was that arguement. I researched qualifications for a hostile work environment and the situation definitely meets the definition, however, there is no law against it unless the person is lageally protected and hostility was based on race, sexual harassment, religion, gender, etc. so that wentt out the window.

    But don't you know, my email went out about 7:25 this am; about 11:00 am I rec'd "the letter" from the company saying all upper management was in agreement that I would be terminated in 30 days if I didn't change to address boss's requirements. well, what kind of company who claims to be fair with people doesn't even wait for the statement from an employee when they know the employee has said hey dispute those facts? Whatever- it leaves the door open for me to go to an outside agency now though, I think, because it proves it didn't matter what i would have said. I'll still send them a statement with whatever evidence I can gather though, keeping a copy of course. One thing I did find- it does look like even though a company can fire a person without reason in this state, if a person in the company lies about another and it costs them a promotion, causes them to lose their job, or prevents them from getting a job somewhere else, the company or person can be sued. I'm not sure how that works though.

    Oh- I was glad to get 30 days notice. LOL! Boss and drug-boy are watching me like a hawk. Of course drug-boy is acting like he's my best friend while he's doing it. Then, right after I read that letter, I got a call from the office investigating the clearance app. I have an interview with them next week so we can discuss the credit issue and bankruptcy- she said it was a lot simpler and better with that bk being last summer and showing on my credit report now that I have no debt left, no lein, everything was discharged to debtors satisfaction. I'm just hoping they get it finished prior to this 30 days being up. It can help me get another job if it goes thru.
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Good luck on the clearance app. Would be nice to see difficult child-boss get a good kick in the pants along with drug-boy.
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I don't see that happening at all- I think DDD was right a couple of weeks ago (or whenever that was) when she said the people in this company above boss don't care what he does- that has really proven true today when they have not asked the first question from me or even know me and are out of state so all they have to go on is boss's word, knowing I'm disputing it and going to send something in ....and they don't even wait on it??? Oh well- the actions I'm pursuing now are not anything at all to do with boss- they are to get a written statement from me disputing this stuff in my employee record since we contract out to the government and any future clearance check would review all previous employment, in case it helps me fight for unemployment, and because if I don't reveal some things, it can come back and bite me in another way. So basicly, I'm trying to create a paper trail that I need- if I'm out of there I couldn't care less what happens to boss with this company- I think they will continue to back him up no matter what he does though.
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I don't see it happening either, but I'd sure like to!