I haven't been on here for a while. Whenever I make my way back, though, just seeing that people are living through the same struggles that I am, does help tremendously. Unfortunately, it doesn't change the reality of the situation most of the time. I've been dealing with difficult child and his issues for 9 years now and I find that every day I'm envying my friend's with "normal" lives more and more and resenting the life I am living. Last week, difficult child was suspended yet AGAIN, this time for making several physical threats about shooting people in school. Of course we all know how seriously THAT particular threat is, and rightfully so. I don't believe he meant it...he said he didn't...but like his therapist has said to me, without seeing him doing it with his own eyes, he can't be sure whether he was in some kind of psychotic state or not at the time. I'm waiting since Friday for a call back from the principal to talk to her about this. difficult child has ACUTE ODD. Nowadays, he reacts to EVERYTHING that is said/done to him or that he PERCEIVES is being said/done to him, which is just about everything. If you have the slightest "tone" he gets crazy. There is just about no peace in our house until he falls asleep, which, thankfully, is usually between 8 and 8:30. The one last outlet we had - so we could very occasionally go out to dinner or something - was my older daughter's house but now there are problems there as well. I feel so much guilt about difficult child. He is only ten and now weighs 150 lb. I know the medications have a lot to do with this but obviously, stopping them is not an option. I worry about his future constantly. I suffer from depression and sometimes I struggle just to do the things I need to do. Not in a good space right now. Hard to see hope for the future.