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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 598710" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I was thinking just the other day after taking a barrage of calls from parents on a Monday whose adult children who do not work, can't keep a job, either live with them or are supported by them well into their 50's ----were all calling and trying to find out "HOW TO HELP" their "kids" .....On some occasions you can hear them in the background cursing out the parents who are seriously at the end of their ropes and after living the "LIFE" it runs through me like a knife. The words, the stress, the desperation, the 10 second or blow up bomb choices. The madness, the crying, the stress, the arguing- the yelling, the sickness and the whining in the parents voices. And BLAM....I'm right in it again. I felt like a crane prize. Ever play those crane games - YOU KNOW its about 90% sure or more that you're going to drop your hard earned money into the machine and play the game and loose - but the WHAT IFs are so dangerous in a somewhat controlled environment that you drop another .50 and another .50 and that one last time the delicate jaws reachdown and pick up the ridiculous over priced teddy bear and you almost......almost get it to the slot to claim your prize and BONK......it jumps right back into the prize box with the rest of the looser bears......and you think what? STUPID bear you could have had a great home with me but you chose to jump off the hook, or stupid jaws....you LET my bear go back with the other looser bears? or STUPID GAME....I wished I had never played you at all!!!!! Or OMG look at how much .50 cents I spent....whose the dummy now? Or all of the above? ?????? It's like you get so frustrated.....you don't know WHO to be mad at.....and all along????? YOU HAD a choice. WALK AWAY. </p><p></p><p>I keep thinking about Dude like that in some respects. NOT that he's a "looser bear" but me going to his rescue (the crane machine - or him calling me to his rescue) and me trying (dumping money into the slot and trying) is like me doing and doing and doing and doing.....over and over and over...and hoping each time I'd get him to the exit. The prize guys make those dang things look so inviting huh? So do our kids with their problems.......Your my parents.....you're supposta fix this,,,,,,,I'm handicapped, I'm mental, I'm ......yours. YOUR going to be in a bad place if you don't start figuring out how to do this on your OWN.......If I keep stepping in .......until your 34 and FIXING THIS. So I asked MY SON.........at what age do I .......get to live according to YOUR lifestyle. ?????? I wanted a sincere answer. I was a teenager, I was in my 20's I made stupid mistakes but Poly want a cracker......I NEVER EVER called my Mother and said.....OMG I'm so screwed up, I really messed up....I need bail money......I'm sorry......I need money for food, I need money for clothes, I need money for rent.......for this for that. My mother????? ROFMFAO......My mother would have said......WELLLLLL You got yourself INTO this ------you had better get yourself OUT. I already KNEW not to call. And the involvement I have with Dude at this point????? INFURIATES her to no end. I keep trying to prove that he's not a lost cause and he keeps proving me ----WHAT? Wrong?????? (operative words here are KEEPS PROVING ME) ..........</p><p>So about a year ago......I cut ties. I stopped texting, I stopped calling.......and he made a real muck of his life. Then it was .......I NEED YOU. I said YEAH for what? Bail you out again.....fix this? YOU FIX it///// lets pretend I'm dead......and you have to figure something out for your own life......what would you do? Who would you ask? How would you ask it......because any advice I have given you - I wasted my bloody time in giving as when I have given it? You've done the exact OPPOSITE......and now you really are in a quandary.....so MY advice will now not be given freely. I will do things for YOU because IT MAKES ME feel good and that's all. </p><p>And that's where I am right now. If I have to ask myself.....Is this right? The answer is -----don't do it. If I have to say ----COULD HE DO THIS ON HIS OWN? Then he'd better get busy writing people and calling people and asking for help.....because I am nearly 50......I have worked my whole life......I survived.....and when I die......he's going to HAVE to do this on his own so he better get a running start on learning how to take care of himself. I think it's good sound advice. I wouldn't let a person off the street treat me like crud......I'm no longer going to let him do it and when he does????? I pull back all hands and offers.......and I can disappear just like a teenager........I was one once. I can somewhat behave like one again. Only this time I have a little money and I can stay out as long as I like. Fortunately for me? This plan is working better than I expected.....</p><p>and those people that he thought were the best friends in the world???????? They're where? Yeah.......no where. That speaks volumes when you have NOTHING, NO cash, no job, and oh......NO MUMMY to give you food, and clothes. THEN you REALLY start to take off the rose colored glasses about who the people in your life are that LOVE YOU......for who and what you are......and SURPRISE SURPRSIE SURPRISE (like GOMER PYLE) it's your parents. GO FIGURE. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Wouldn't wish that lesson on anyone.......hated it with all my heart......but it worked.......so I'm sharing. and We're still not done. Dude said it's a work in progress. But we're getting there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 598710, member: 4964"] I was thinking just the other day after taking a barrage of calls from parents on a Monday whose adult children who do not work, can't keep a job, either live with them or are supported by them well into their 50's ----were all calling and trying to find out "HOW TO HELP" their "kids" .....On some occasions you can hear them in the background cursing out the parents who are seriously at the end of their ropes and after living the "LIFE" it runs through me like a knife. The words, the stress, the desperation, the 10 second or blow up bomb choices. The madness, the crying, the stress, the arguing- the yelling, the sickness and the whining in the parents voices. And BLAM....I'm right in it again. I felt like a crane prize. Ever play those crane games - YOU KNOW its about 90% sure or more that you're going to drop your hard earned money into the machine and play the game and loose - but the WHAT IFs are so dangerous in a somewhat controlled environment that you drop another .50 and another .50 and that one last time the delicate jaws reachdown and pick up the ridiculous over priced teddy bear and you almost......almost get it to the slot to claim your prize and BONK......it jumps right back into the prize box with the rest of the looser bears......and you think what? STUPID bear you could have had a great home with me but you chose to jump off the hook, or stupid jaws....you LET my bear go back with the other looser bears? or STUPID GAME....I wished I had never played you at all!!!!! Or OMG look at how much .50 cents I spent....whose the dummy now? Or all of the above? ?????? It's like you get so frustrated.....you don't know WHO to be mad at.....and all along????? YOU HAD a choice. WALK AWAY. I keep thinking about Dude like that in some respects. NOT that he's a "looser bear" but me going to his rescue (the crane machine - or him calling me to his rescue) and me trying (dumping money into the slot and trying) is like me doing and doing and doing and doing.....over and over and over...and hoping each time I'd get him to the exit. The prize guys make those dang things look so inviting huh? So do our kids with their problems.......Your my parents.....you're supposta fix this,,,,,,,I'm handicapped, I'm mental, I'm ......yours. YOUR going to be in a bad place if you don't start figuring out how to do this on your OWN.......If I keep stepping in .......until your 34 and FIXING THIS. So I asked MY SON.........at what age do I .......get to live according to YOUR lifestyle. ?????? I wanted a sincere answer. I was a teenager, I was in my 20's I made stupid mistakes but Poly want a cracker......I NEVER EVER called my Mother and said.....OMG I'm so screwed up, I really messed up....I need bail money......I'm sorry......I need money for food, I need money for clothes, I need money for rent.......for this for that. My mother????? ROFMFAO......My mother would have said......WELLLLLL You got yourself INTO this ------you had better get yourself OUT. I already KNEW not to call. And the involvement I have with Dude at this point????? INFURIATES her to no end. I keep trying to prove that he's not a lost cause and he keeps proving me ----WHAT? Wrong?????? (operative words here are KEEPS PROVING ME) .......... So about a year ago......I cut ties. I stopped texting, I stopped calling.......and he made a real muck of his life. Then it was .......I NEED YOU. I said YEAH for what? Bail you out again.....fix this? YOU FIX it///// lets pretend I'm dead......and you have to figure something out for your own life......what would you do? Who would you ask? How would you ask it......because any advice I have given you - I wasted my bloody time in giving as when I have given it? You've done the exact OPPOSITE......and now you really are in a quandary.....so MY advice will now not be given freely. I will do things for YOU because IT MAKES ME feel good and that's all. And that's where I am right now. If I have to ask myself.....Is this right? The answer is -----don't do it. If I have to say ----COULD HE DO THIS ON HIS OWN? Then he'd better get busy writing people and calling people and asking for help.....because I am nearly 50......I have worked my whole life......I survived.....and when I die......he's going to HAVE to do this on his own so he better get a running start on learning how to take care of himself. I think it's good sound advice. I wouldn't let a person off the street treat me like crud......I'm no longer going to let him do it and when he does????? I pull back all hands and offers.......and I can disappear just like a teenager........I was one once. I can somewhat behave like one again. Only this time I have a little money and I can stay out as long as I like. Fortunately for me? This plan is working better than I expected..... and those people that he thought were the best friends in the world???????? They're where? Yeah.......no where. That speaks volumes when you have NOTHING, NO cash, no job, and oh......NO MUMMY to give you food, and clothes. THEN you REALLY start to take off the rose colored glasses about who the people in your life are that LOVE YOU......for who and what you are......and SURPRISE SURPRSIE SURPRISE (like GOMER PYLE) it's your parents. GO FIGURE. Wouldn't wish that lesson on anyone.......hated it with all my heart......but it worked.......so I'm sharing. and We're still not done. Dude said it's a work in progress. But we're getting there. [/QUOTE]
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