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A Job? School? Me? A baby sounds like a good solution.
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 548981" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Dash</p><p></p><p>You can't force her to get a job. You can't <strong>force</strong> her to do anything at all. All you can do is decide what the rules of living with you are, and enforce them. It's your house, if you want to change the rules at any time that is your right. If she doesn't like it then it's time to go. </p><p></p><p>This is why I had the rule that adult kids from 18 + had to either be in school full time (and passing) or working full time and saving to move out. Because that is the goal, to move out, to become independent. </p><p></p><p>Now with easy child, there was no issue. With Nichole, she always helped around the house/yard/cooking and took good care of Aubrey. She did do school full time. When she didn't do school full time she worked full time. So there was never an issue with rules being followed. Problem was.......she was 20 and there were no signs of her taking that next step to independence. Other than the actually moving out doing it all on her own part, she was doing everything required to be a functioning adult. Soooo......I started asking her when her plans to move out were, when she told me there was no rush she liked it here and could live here forever.........Mom gave her a move out date for 3 months later. Time enough to save for rent and deposits ect. It really hurt her feelings until I explained to her <strong>why</strong> this step was so very necessary for everyone to take. And at first it took quite a bit of explaining to make her see it wasn't her, it was just the next logical step. One can't stay at home forever even under very good circumstances as it stunts the developmental growth of the adult child. </p><p></p><p>If it were me, I'd make full time employment required to live with you. (ok bad economy, at least part time) AND she has to pay you rent. This "rent" you put back for when she moves out......because then you give her the move out date. Now being difficult child, odds are she might get the job but not save the cash to move, this is when you hand her the rent she gave you and wave good-bye. I wouldn't worry about full time part time work so much because once she's out, she'll figure out fast that part time doesn't cover the bills. </p><p></p><p>As for the baby..........I dunno how much difficult child will talk to you. She's got some really immature thinking going on of "playing house" and boyfriend is going to be her Prince. If for whatever reason boyfriend can't/won't live up to her Prince role......well, that baby is not a doll and she's going to find herself working harder than she's ever worked in her life 24/7 AND having to have full time work ect ect. I'd attempt to talk to her, but as I said you can't force her to do or not do anything.....so you'll have to keep that in mind. </p><p></p><p>I hope the powers that be prevent her from bringing a child into the world when she's not yet adult enough to take care of herself. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 548981, member: 84"] Dash You can't force her to get a job. You can't [B]force[/B] her to do anything at all. All you can do is decide what the rules of living with you are, and enforce them. It's your house, if you want to change the rules at any time that is your right. If she doesn't like it then it's time to go. This is why I had the rule that adult kids from 18 + had to either be in school full time (and passing) or working full time and saving to move out. Because that is the goal, to move out, to become independent. Now with easy child, there was no issue. With Nichole, she always helped around the house/yard/cooking and took good care of Aubrey. She did do school full time. When she didn't do school full time she worked full time. So there was never an issue with rules being followed. Problem was.......she was 20 and there were no signs of her taking that next step to independence. Other than the actually moving out doing it all on her own part, she was doing everything required to be a functioning adult. Soooo......I started asking her when her plans to move out were, when she told me there was no rush she liked it here and could live here forever.........Mom gave her a move out date for 3 months later. Time enough to save for rent and deposits ect. It really hurt her feelings until I explained to her [B]why[/B] this step was so very necessary for everyone to take. And at first it took quite a bit of explaining to make her see it wasn't her, it was just the next logical step. One can't stay at home forever even under very good circumstances as it stunts the developmental growth of the adult child. If it were me, I'd make full time employment required to live with you. (ok bad economy, at least part time) AND she has to pay you rent. This "rent" you put back for when she moves out......because then you give her the move out date. Now being difficult child, odds are she might get the job but not save the cash to move, this is when you hand her the rent she gave you and wave good-bye. I wouldn't worry about full time part time work so much because once she's out, she'll figure out fast that part time doesn't cover the bills. As for the baby..........I dunno how much difficult child will talk to you. She's got some really immature thinking going on of "playing house" and boyfriend is going to be her Prince. If for whatever reason boyfriend can't/won't live up to her Prince role......well, that baby is not a doll and she's going to find herself working harder than she's ever worked in her life 24/7 AND having to have full time work ect ect. I'd attempt to talk to her, but as I said you can't force her to do or not do anything.....so you'll have to keep that in mind. I hope the powers that be prevent her from bringing a child into the world when she's not yet adult enough to take care of herself. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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