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A Job? School? Me? A baby sounds like a good solution.
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 549047" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>Your suggestion isn't dumb, CJane. Unfortunately, difficult child is so adept at the lying dance that I doubt it would do a bit of good. I don't have insurance for counseling and I am currently paying (albiet, at a reduced rate) for hers. I simply can't afford to go for me or for the two of us.</p><p></p><p>I really do appreciate the support and the udnerstanding about my not being ready to kick her out ..a nd the very constructive suggestions that I work to make it bearable for myself - having made that choice for now. I do have FA (went tonight), you, some very good in real life friends, and God. FA stresses this very thing, and I've been working it big time today.</p><p></p><p>Part of my reasoning, at this juncture, is that I set a boundry when she quit Pizza Hut: You cannot live her for free, but you are my daughter. If you follow the boundaries I set when you moved in: (no drugs, no guys here when I'm not home, contribute), you can stay providing your contribution be in the form of working around the house / yard for an established number of hours per day. She is doing that and I never said she must h ave a job in order to stay (becasue I'm a blazing idiot -let's face it ... I thought she'd cave after three weeks and get a DARNED job). </p><p></p><p>This is not to say I won't revisit it. I may say (when the shed is done ... but it is a very old shed and it will take a long time., "Soon, I will not have enough to keep you occupied. You have until _______ to get a job". </p><p></p><p>I was also able to be a little more detatached today. I had a project I was working on and the shed is out back. She did keep coming in for attention (a pattern) and I told her after a few times I needed to concentrate.</p><p></p><p>As to her becoming pregnant? It strikes fear to the core of my being, but it is beyond my control. Shel'll have precious little opportunity to do the deed here, but that's the extent of my reach.</p><p></p><p>And I forgot to comment, Nancy ... yes, it is scary how similar these two are.</p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 549047, member: 9175"] Your suggestion isn't dumb, CJane. Unfortunately, difficult child is so adept at the lying dance that I doubt it would do a bit of good. I don't have insurance for counseling and I am currently paying (albiet, at a reduced rate) for hers. I simply can't afford to go for me or for the two of us. I really do appreciate the support and the udnerstanding about my not being ready to kick her out ..a nd the very constructive suggestions that I work to make it bearable for myself - having made that choice for now. I do have FA (went tonight), you, some very good in real life friends, and God. FA stresses this very thing, and I've been working it big time today. Part of my reasoning, at this juncture, is that I set a boundry when she quit Pizza Hut: You cannot live her for free, but you are my daughter. If you follow the boundaries I set when you moved in: (no drugs, no guys here when I'm not home, contribute), you can stay providing your contribution be in the form of working around the house / yard for an established number of hours per day. She is doing that and I never said she must h ave a job in order to stay (becasue I'm a blazing idiot -let's face it ... I thought she'd cave after three weeks and get a DARNED job). This is not to say I won't revisit it. I may say (when the shed is done ... but it is a very old shed and it will take a long time., "Soon, I will not have enough to keep you occupied. You have until _______ to get a job". I was also able to be a little more detatached today. I had a project I was working on and the shed is out back. She did keep coming in for attention (a pattern) and I told her after a few times I needed to concentrate. As to her becoming pregnant? It strikes fear to the core of my being, but it is beyond my control. Shel'll have precious little opportunity to do the deed here, but that's the extent of my reach. And I forgot to comment, Nancy ... yes, it is scary how similar these two are. Dash [/QUOTE]
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A Job? School? Me? A baby sounds like a good solution.
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