A Little more Hx on difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by STRESSEDTOMAX, Dec 12, 2007.



    Hi all

    Thank you to everyone who responded to my post yesterday. I am feeling a little more clear-headed today and wanted to add some extra information. I actually appreciate the chance to go back and put everything into some order in my head.

    A problem first surfaced at @18 months with difficult child. He was attending a preschool on the campus of the college that I was going to and they noticed when he was about three that he was displaying speech delays and oppositional behavior-he would run away from teachers, would not listen, was hitting, etc. They suggested that I look into getting him some help through my school district, especially for the speech. This is basically when I began the process of getting the IEP. This was in the spring of 2005- he was almost 4. He had been displaying oppositional behavior at home also-he intentionally broke my eyeglasses, knocked down a dresser in his room, tore wallpaper off the wall, etc. It is hard to remember all the things that were happening but I know our lives were hell from about 3 on.

    At that time, a teacher began to come to the preschool a couple of times a week to work with him with his behavior and a speech therapist was coming to the house two times a week for the speech. We took him to a pediatric neurologist and were told that everything was O.K. there. For the IEP, he was seen by a psychologist, found to have a very high IQ(126), but as far as I can recall(I can't locate records) she told me that he was borderline ADHD.

    This all took place in N.Y.-right after this we moved to N.C. On the N.Y. IEP he was listed as a preschool student with a disability. He was given itinerant services only for school and he got speech help and we were supposed to go for counseling because they thought the problem was parental discipline.

    As the IEP stands now, he is considered developmentally delayed and is supposed to be seeing the Special Education teacher once a week which I do not think is happening. This is the only service he is getting. I am requesting another IEP meeting but I am unsure of exactly what to ask for. He has not been seeing his therapist consistently and his psychiatric I have questions about. He has not given him a diagnosis and seems to feel that he will outgrow this behavior and that it is not ADHD-it is insecurity and anxiety and the solution is for my husband and I to have stricter rules. I understand that structure is important but I am 90% sure that he has ODD as well as some ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and sensory problems. He is compulsively lining things up and straightening things and this has escalated in the past month. The psychiatric says this is anxiety-I'm not sure. He is always having me change his clothes because "they don't feel right" or "they're too loose", etc.

    He is on Tenex-1 pill in the evening, a half pill in the morning. He had been on Risperdal but it seemed to be causing anxiety to worsen.

    Sorry this is so long-probably won't happen again. I feel as though I am not seeing the right doctor-I would like a diagnosis-I read something from someone about the Mayo clinic- does anyone have any info?

    Thanks for being there-I will set up profile soon.

  2. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Hello and welcome to the site. :flower:

    What we've all learned here is to trust our mommy gut. If you feel there is something more going on, there probably is.

    Lining things up and the sensory issues could be indicators of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) (Autism Spectrum Disorders). Of course, it could be other things, but that's the first thing I thought of. Check out this site and see if it rings any bells. There is also an assessment which is not diagnostic, but can provide valuable information to the diagnostician.

    Further, a lot of us here have had the best luck with a pediatric neuropsychologist. We got more answers out of a few hours of testing with a neuropsychologist than we did with years of tdocs and psychiatrists.

    Good luck and welcome to the site. Feel free to post as often or as little as you like. I find it to be a very cathartic place. Some days I'm just too overwhelmed to post what's going on at home - or don't want to rehash it - but just being part of a community that understands is very calming. And I know that when I do post about my own stuff, I will have a lot of support and no judgment.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Thank you for posting more of your difficult child's hx.

    I agree with Heather that your difficult child has a lot of red flags for an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. A speech delay, lining up toys, anxiety/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and sensory issues (clothes not feeling "right") all fit under this umbrella diagnosis.

    For a diagnosis, I would recommend either a neuropsychologist, a developmental pediatrician or a multidisciplinary team at a children's or university teaching hospital.

    Good luck.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    nothing to add ... just wanted to lend support.
  5. slsh

    slsh member since 1999


    I agree that a developmental pediatrician or neuropsychiatrist at a teaching and/or Children's hospital would be a good place for you guys right now. I'd especially key in on those sensory issues - an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation by someone with experience working with sensory issues (not all do) would be valuable I would think. By any chance was he a preemie? The school cannot "diagnose" him, and developmental delay (in my experience anyway) is kind of a catch-all phrase that is commonly used in IEPs for younger kiddos. I do think that psychiatrist, or any other doctor you have evaluate him, should take into consideration previous testing by schools. If you don't have copies of them readily available, you can request copies from the school district. They should have been forwarded from old school district. If you're not sure what you are looking for specifically, you can always request an appointment to review his permanent school file, including any and all evaluations by all SDs.

    By my count, he will be due for his 3-year re-evaluation in the spring of 2008 with the school district. It might be a good idea to request that they start that process now (multidisciplinary evaluation, ARD, case study - different terms in different states, but they are all full evaluations to determine if the child is still eligible for Special Education, must be done at least every 3 years). I don't know if all states do it, but here in IL we have a "domain mtg" prior to the re-evaluation to determine what "domains" need to be looked at - ST, Occupational Therapist (OT), PT, psychiatric, hearing, social, transition (for older kids), Learning Disability (LD) evaluations, reading, math, etc. Since you're requesting an IEP mtg, that might be a good time to bring it up and to define what specific areas you think need to be evaluated.

    How is his speech now? What services would you like to see in school, and why? That's always been the most effective way for me to figure out what to ask for in IEP mtgs - what are the problems and how can we address them? Lists, LOL. I make lots of lists. Make sure to put on your list an FBA, and a BIP with *positive* behavioral interventions.

    I think it may be a rite of passage that parents of difficult children have to go thru when we deal with professionals who chalk up behavior difficulties to parenting skills. :hammer: While we can see clearly that that is not the whole problem, sometimes it takes a while for the professionals to catch on. I do have to grudgingly admit that some of the training that was "suggested" to get our "parenting skills" up to snuff actually was helpful. :wink: Some professionals I've waited out because I thought they would finally get it. Others I've left fast.

    Again, don't forget to take care of you!