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A mix of pride and disappointment
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 279584" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">ML, I think it's real important to detach along the way - from the time our kiddos are very small. Once they show signs of independence in one form or another, it is our duty to step aside and allow them the space to proceed - to perhaps make mistakes or even hurt themselves - and grow from that experience. I think it's great that you're learning how to detach now because you will definitely need it later on when your difficult child asserts his independence in ways you cannot manage or control in any way. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">I feel that the thing with difficult child's is that we often need extra time to tell when they really and truly need us or when they are just manipulating us, or when they in danger or when they are just learning at their own pace, etc. That's very difficult to guage when parenting a difficult child. I've said it before, my easy child was just a breeze. Even when she was at her snottiest typical teen stages, she was easy. A part of me believes that since so much of my time was taken up by difficult child, easy child learned early on how to be more self reliant and resilient. In many ways, this has served her well but I can see that there is a part of her psyche that is cut off from emotion, as though it's too tender for her to 'go there' and it hinders her in some ways in regards to her relationship with people close to her. I think she will figure it all out, but it does pain me to see that side of her at times. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Anyway, just sort of babbling this morning. Thanks for your thoughts.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 279584, member: 2211"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]ML, I think it's real important to detach along the way - from the time our kiddos are very small. Once they show signs of independence in one form or another, it is our duty to step aside and allow them the space to proceed - to perhaps make mistakes or even hurt themselves - and grow from that experience. I think it's great that you're learning how to detach now because you will definitely need it later on when your difficult child asserts his independence in ways you cannot manage or control in any way. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]I feel that the thing with difficult child's is that we often need extra time to tell when they really and truly need us or when they are just manipulating us, or when they in danger or when they are just learning at their own pace, etc. That's very difficult to guage when parenting a difficult child. I've said it before, my easy child was just a breeze. Even when she was at her snottiest typical teen stages, she was easy. A part of me believes that since so much of my time was taken up by difficult child, easy child learned early on how to be more self reliant and resilient. In many ways, this has served her well but I can see that there is a part of her psyche that is cut off from emotion, as though it's too tender for her to 'go there' and it hinders her in some ways in regards to her relationship with people close to her. I think she will figure it all out, but it does pain me to see that side of her at times. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Anyway, just sort of babbling this morning. Thanks for your thoughts.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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