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A mix of pride and disappointment
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 279856" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: royalblue">Hey Lisa, thank you for sharing about Nichole. I wish Gina was floundering about something, or between two choices, but she's just plain old floundering - about nothing. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: royalblue">Suz, I've done those on line things with her and she's done them on her own. She's all over the map, but they have been somewhat helpful in making her realize that she needs at least some vocational training of some sort - something she is not willing to participate in right now. Thanks for posting the links, perhaps this weekend I could get her to try these.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: royalblue">Lisa, I have 3 sisters - all older than me. My immediate older sister was my mom's favorite and even when she was blatantly doing wrong, my mom was blind to it. She was the one I was measured up against in every way..."Why can't you play guitar like M?" "Why don't you join student council like M?" "Why don't you this or that like M?" and on and on it went. My sister M had mediocre grades at best, was a pothead and hung out with losers. But for some reason, my mother only saw M's natural musical talent and her ability to entertain and nothing else. Being the youngest in a crazy house taught me to lay low and be as quiet as possible. It served me well growing up and I later blossomed into my own person in my own time. But being compared to someone I didn't want to be like in any way was difficult, yes. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: royalblue">We do not, and never have, compared difficult child with easy child. She does that all on her own, she's her own worst critic and she manages to find a way to beat herself up more harshly than anyone ever could. I do believe that exh and ex-sister in law have compared difficult child to easy child in seemingly innocuous ways, such as, to difficult child: "Hey, easy child is good at baking, maybe you would be good at cooking" or "I bet if you [insert something easy child has done or tried] you'd be good at it too"...and other such statements. I have no control over what is said by them to easy child/difficult child. It's been discussed over the years, but the reality is, exh and his family are ignorant and crass and seem to have a lack of discretion in most areas of life and social graces. I gave up with them in that regard a few years ago when I thought my girls were old enough to handle it.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #4169e1">Thanks again all. I love thinking out loud here and getting such thought provoking feedback.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 279856, member: 2211"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=royalblue]Hey Lisa, thank you for sharing about Nichole. I wish Gina was floundering about something, or between two choices, but she's just plain old floundering - about nothing. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=royalblue]Suz, I've done those on line things with her and she's done them on her own. She's all over the map, but they have been somewhat helpful in making her realize that she needs at least some vocational training of some sort - something she is not willing to participate in right now. Thanks for posting the links, perhaps this weekend I could get her to try these.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=royalblue]Lisa, I have 3 sisters - all older than me. My immediate older sister was my mom's favorite and even when she was blatantly doing wrong, my mom was blind to it. She was the one I was measured up against in every way..."Why can't you play guitar like M?" "Why don't you join student council like M?" "Why don't you this or that like M?" and on and on it went. My sister M had mediocre grades at best, was a pothead and hung out with losers. But for some reason, my mother only saw M's natural musical talent and her ability to entertain and nothing else. Being the youngest in a crazy house taught me to lay low and be as quiet as possible. It served me well growing up and I later blossomed into my own person in my own time. But being compared to someone I didn't want to be like in any way was difficult, yes. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=royalblue]We do not, and never have, compared difficult child with easy child. She does that all on her own, she's her own worst critic and she manages to find a way to beat herself up more harshly than anyone ever could. I do believe that exh and ex-sister in law have compared difficult child to easy child in seemingly innocuous ways, such as, to difficult child: "Hey, easy child is good at baking, maybe you would be good at cooking" or "I bet if you [insert something easy child has done or tried] you'd be good at it too"...and other such statements. I have no control over what is said by them to easy child/difficult child. It's been discussed over the years, but the reality is, exh and his family are ignorant and crass and seem to have a lack of discretion in most areas of life and social graces. I gave up with them in that regard a few years ago when I thought my girls were old enough to handle it.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=#4169e1]Thanks again all. I love thinking out loud here and getting such thought provoking feedback.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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