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General Parenting
A more detailed account from yesterday
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 266331" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Oh, no, don't apologize. I love your replies just as they are! It seems you have experience with EVERYTHING.</p><p>***</p><p>I think the assignment itself escalated him. He gets very frustrated when he wants to do something that he can't, and this is getting worse as he gets older. The keyboard is a great idea. I will ask SpEd to pull her notes and review them, I know from the times of previous escalations that they are likely to happen at this same time period, which I would assume would be writing every day. </p><p>***</p><p>My "problem" with what happened here was that it was documented as a "work refusal", and I don't think it was a work refusal at all, and the para pushed him to do something that we already know he can't do, in the mainstream classroom (as opposed to the self-contained room, where he will have to be pushed to learn these tasks), which resulted in a meltdown, which resulted in a threat, which is held against him. My other problem with this is I can push the school all day long to do what they need to do for difficult child, but they don't know how. I am worrying less about keeping on their good sides now, tho, and I will start pushing appropriately for them to start doing things to figure it out. Some of them are trying. Others are complacent. Others are just plain road blocks. </p><p>***</p><p>We have a communication log, but it has not come home since before the half days. I have asked a couple of times, but its not happened. I am pushing for that to be found, also, and tho I know where it is, it hasn't been used or sent home yet. If I were to guess, your suggestion of the "legal concern" is probably why (its on SpEd's desk). It stopped coming after I questioned mediocre para and brought the director up to speed on what was taking place and demanded the evaluations be finished within the 60 day time frame, not extended due to difficult child's being put on half days. I never used "law" or "legal", but I did let them know I knew about the guidelines they were working in, and, unfortunately, it had the effect I didn't want it to have, other than getting the evaluations finished.</p><p>***</p><p>I have been in contact with his docs and therapists, as well, and his DevPed emailed me last night to let me know that even tho his last Depakote level was normal, it was nearly double what it had been at previous checks. So we are talking about that as it may affect this situation now.</p><p>***</p><p>As for the school's concern about me finding fault with so-so para...SpEd teacher told me, after I observed the problems in class, that so-so para had problems with all the kids. But she told me this off record, and I will not violate that trust. She gave me her blessing to push the principal at that time to address the personnel issue, based solely on my observation, which I did, and that's when the principal retorted and told me if I wanted to help, to butt out and support his plan.</p><p>***</p><p>And I did tell SpEd this morning that her description was very helpful. She offered to continue sending them that way, and I thanked her and said hopefully with all of us looking at these things, someone will find a pattern or something we can use to help.</p><p>***</p><p>The keyboard is a great idea, tho. That or even just letting the para scribe for him in the mainstream room. I guess I feel in the mainstream room, its more important that he participate and make an attempt at the assignments than how he goes about doing it.</p><p>***</p><p>I'm still checking out other placement options. difficult child needs to work with someone who knows how soon. I screwed up by not getting him out of the private school sooner, but regardless, its been a year now that he has been consistently aggressive and that, combined with the fact that we aren't really making much progress at school dealing with him now, really concerns me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 266331, member: 1848"] Oh, no, don't apologize. I love your replies just as they are! It seems you have experience with EVERYTHING. *** I think the assignment itself escalated him. He gets very frustrated when he wants to do something that he can't, and this is getting worse as he gets older. The keyboard is a great idea. I will ask SpEd to pull her notes and review them, I know from the times of previous escalations that they are likely to happen at this same time period, which I would assume would be writing every day. *** My "problem" with what happened here was that it was documented as a "work refusal", and I don't think it was a work refusal at all, and the para pushed him to do something that we already know he can't do, in the mainstream classroom (as opposed to the self-contained room, where he will have to be pushed to learn these tasks), which resulted in a meltdown, which resulted in a threat, which is held against him. My other problem with this is I can push the school all day long to do what they need to do for difficult child, but they don't know how. I am worrying less about keeping on their good sides now, tho, and I will start pushing appropriately for them to start doing things to figure it out. Some of them are trying. Others are complacent. Others are just plain road blocks. *** We have a communication log, but it has not come home since before the half days. I have asked a couple of times, but its not happened. I am pushing for that to be found, also, and tho I know where it is, it hasn't been used or sent home yet. If I were to guess, your suggestion of the "legal concern" is probably why (its on SpEd's desk). It stopped coming after I questioned mediocre para and brought the director up to speed on what was taking place and demanded the evaluations be finished within the 60 day time frame, not extended due to difficult child's being put on half days. I never used "law" or "legal", but I did let them know I knew about the guidelines they were working in, and, unfortunately, it had the effect I didn't want it to have, other than getting the evaluations finished. *** I have been in contact with his docs and therapists, as well, and his DevPed emailed me last night to let me know that even tho his last Depakote level was normal, it was nearly double what it had been at previous checks. So we are talking about that as it may affect this situation now. *** As for the school's concern about me finding fault with so-so para...SpEd teacher told me, after I observed the problems in class, that so-so para had problems with all the kids. But she told me this off record, and I will not violate that trust. She gave me her blessing to push the principal at that time to address the personnel issue, based solely on my observation, which I did, and that's when the principal retorted and told me if I wanted to help, to butt out and support his plan. *** And I did tell SpEd this morning that her description was very helpful. She offered to continue sending them that way, and I thanked her and said hopefully with all of us looking at these things, someone will find a pattern or something we can use to help. *** The keyboard is a great idea, tho. That or even just letting the para scribe for him in the mainstream room. I guess I feel in the mainstream room, its more important that he participate and make an attempt at the assignments than how he goes about doing it. *** I'm still checking out other placement options. difficult child needs to work with someone who knows how soon. I screwed up by not getting him out of the private school sooner, but regardless, its been a year now that he has been consistently aggressive and that, combined with the fact that we aren't really making much progress at school dealing with him now, really concerns me. [/QUOTE]
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