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A Mothers Guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="Terryforvols" data-source="post: 625094" data-attributes="member: 2127"><p>I was reading another thread when Cedar said something that absolutely tears me up and I am just taking tiny baby steps toward....my guilt.</p><p></p><p>difficult child cant hurt me more at times than I hurt myself. My guilt at not being the mother I thought I was still racks me. To me, and only me, not husband, easy child or difficult child, I am a gigantic failure. A "good" mom doesnt have a drug addicted difficult child. A "good" mom doesnt enable, doesnt try to control the situation, bc it never gets to that point. A "good" mom doesnt get so involved that she loses sight of being a mother and becomes a friend in hopes of turning things around.</p><p></p><p>Knowing in my head what I know now, I know I was not a bad mom. Intellectually, I know that. My heart, on the other hand, hasnt gotten the message. Its filled with a lot of what I didnt do, what I didnt see, that I must not have loved a lot, on and on. A lot of the rage I felt at difficult child when she was here in Jan came from not only things she did, but what I must not have done. It felt like it came from the deepest part of my soul. And it is ugly.</p><p></p><p>I want to be a happier person with ME, not difficult child. I am slowly learning how to accept and love her as she is, how do I do it for me?</p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Terryforvols, post: 625094, member: 2127"] I was reading another thread when Cedar said something that absolutely tears me up and I am just taking tiny baby steps toward....my guilt. difficult child cant hurt me more at times than I hurt myself. My guilt at not being the mother I thought I was still racks me. To me, and only me, not husband, easy child or difficult child, I am a gigantic failure. A "good" mom doesnt have a drug addicted difficult child. A "good" mom doesnt enable, doesnt try to control the situation, bc it never gets to that point. A "good" mom doesnt get so involved that she loses sight of being a mother and becomes a friend in hopes of turning things around. Knowing in my head what I know now, I know I was not a bad mom. Intellectually, I know that. My heart, on the other hand, hasnt gotten the message. Its filled with a lot of what I didnt do, what I didnt see, that I must not have loved a lot, on and on. A lot of the rage I felt at difficult child when she was here in Jan came from not only things she did, but what I must not have done. It felt like it came from the deepest part of my soul. And it is ugly. I want to be a happier person with ME, not difficult child. I am slowly learning how to accept and love her as she is, how do I do it for me? Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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