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Parent Emeritus
A Mothers Guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 625096" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>I don't know, Terry. I struggle with a lot of guilt myself. I think most of us do, because the moms who post here are a pretty conscientious bunch, or we wouldn't be here. And I think guilt is something that gets entwined with caring. Somehow we have to find a way to keep those things separate. I'll let you know if I ever find one! I could have done every single thing right as a parent and I would still feel guilty. As you said, it's in my soul. No logical "proof" elsewhere is going to alleviate my guilt. </p><p></p><p>One thing that did help me to a degree was a thread I saw here, "No Amount of Guilt Can Change the Past. No Amount of Worry Can Change the Future." So if the guilt is not useful, why go there?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I know lots of good moms who did all of these things. I know some TRULY bad moms by any standard, and they don't have difficult children. And I know I would have been (and was) a friend, a mother, a stern taskmaster... a dancing purple chicken...whatever it might have taken in the hopes of turning things around. But I couldn't. We can't change other people. We can only change ourselves. What changes can we make in our own lives, to be more at peace with ourselves?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 625096, member: 17720"] I don't know, Terry. I struggle with a lot of guilt myself. I think most of us do, because the moms who post here are a pretty conscientious bunch, or we wouldn't be here. And I think guilt is something that gets entwined with caring. Somehow we have to find a way to keep those things separate. I'll let you know if I ever find one! I could have done every single thing right as a parent and I would still feel guilty. As you said, it's in my soul. No logical "proof" elsewhere is going to alleviate my guilt. One thing that did help me to a degree was a thread I saw here, "No Amount of Guilt Can Change the Past. No Amount of Worry Can Change the Future." So if the guilt is not useful, why go there? I know lots of good moms who did all of these things. I know some TRULY bad moms by any standard, and they don't have difficult children. And I know I would have been (and was) a friend, a mother, a stern taskmaster... a dancing purple chicken...whatever it might have taken in the hopes of turning things around. But I couldn't. We can't change other people. We can only change ourselves. What changes can we make in our own lives, to be more at peace with ourselves? [/QUOTE]
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