A new diagnosis for difficult child

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Oct 23, 2014.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    difficult child went to the gynecologist last week after having skipped six periods in a row. Her period has always been rather irregular but she has never gone that long without a period till now. The doctor has diagnosed her with polycystic ovarian disease. I have since read up on it and I can't help but worry. PCOS can cause certain types of cancer, diabetes, and more than likely infertility.

    difficult child wants kids very badly. She has always worried that she may never be able to have a baby one day. Now her worst fears may come true. I am really looking forward to having grandchildren. Of course I still have easy child to give me a grandchild but there's something extra special about having a daughter with children. Does anybody have any experience with difficult child's diagnosis? I am looking for some success stories of women with PCOS having babies so I can give poor difficult child some hope.
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    If she really wants to do what she can to avoid issues with PCOS she should monitor her weight and get it down and then when she is of child bearing age talk to the doctors. There are medications that can increase her fertility options without invitro or other things. No one can say for sure it will work but weight is one of the common factors with PCOS (not always but sometimes).

    I have two girls and I was diagnosed with PCOS years ago. When I lost weight the issues I had with it went away. My period stabilized and the cramps decreased greatly.

    My sister in law on the other hand has PCOS is extremely obese and had to adopt. We will never know if that was because the PCOS or some other reason. I dont think they did any type of testing.
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    difficult child definitely needs to lose weight. She is 5'3 and at her highest weight ever at 220 lbs. I tried weight watchers with her last year but she didn't stick to it. She actually gained weight while I was losing. I hope this will get her motivated to lose some of the weight. I really am surprised she isn't diabetic by now.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If I remember right, she is a really picky eater, right? Likes white bread etc. over healthy stuff? That might be one of the key elements of her losing weight. Simple carbs have an anti-anxiety/anti-depression effect (temporarily) but tend to produce insulin resistance in any of us if we eat too much of them. And they can be addictive (if I have more than a tiny bit, I end up gorging on the stuff). She needs high-quality food... which is usually higher cost and takes more time and effort to prepare. Meals cooked completely from scratch. Too many short-cut ingredients include simple carbs to make things "taste better"... In my experience, there are no shortcuts.

    Does SHE really want to have kids eventually? Can that motivate her to change her diet?
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    difficult child is a binge eater and she's addicted to sugar. If I buy a carton of ice cream for the family she has no self control and will eat half of it in one sitting. I can't trust sweets around her anymore so I am simply not going to keep them in the house. I am cooking a lot more than I used to so that should help too. Weight watchers is such an easy plan if only she could stick to it. Problem with difficult child is she doesn't know the words self control.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If she is insulin resistant - there's a fairly high chance, with PCOS - then it isn't just sugar. White flour, most pasta, white rice, etc. is all just about like sugar. She needs high-fiber carbs... true whole-grain products (not "whole wheat flour"... which has significantly less fiber), non-starchy vegetables, etc.

    Would she pig out on something low-calorie high-fiber? e.g. a bowl of raw veggies for a snack before supper... so that she is already "full" before the meal? seriously, it's hard to gain weight pigging out on raw non-starchy veggies (not impossible, just hard).
  7. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Weight watchers is great but not necessarily for diabetics and not for everyone. Diabetics have to watch carbs and sugars.

    I had weightloss surgery so let me give you this advice. DO NOT KEEP FOOD SHE CANT EAT IN THE HOUSE. it's an addiction that doesn't have a support group that truly works. Diets do not work. Eating healthy works. Long term you can't spend your life counting points or calories. But if you learn to eat carrots and bell peppers instead of chips it will help.

    nope they are not cool but they taste good and replace junk.

    If you buy ice cream. Buy a cone from McDonalds. If you get popcorn get a small mini bag. Buy sugar free Popsicles and fudge sickles. Buy small individual size snacks. Yes the cost more but the point is they are restrictive. A individual serving of chips is bad. But I can guarantee you she will eat less than if you leave her a family size bag.

    I have a fourteen year old with weight issues too. She choses to eat poorly away from home and at home if I slip up. I swear she can find the four ingredients in the pantry that will make something bad for her. I'm to the point of locking the cabinets to keep her out but then it would just stress her more.
  8. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    With kids with weight issues do remember that too strict diet is really bad for them. It can either get out of hand and turn to eating disorder or it can make them sneak around and binge eat 'forbidden food' when you are not there to watch them. It doesn't teach healthy eating habits.

    Any kind of junk food is okay as a part of healthy diet, it is matter of portion size and how often you eat it. Steady meal schedule, low calorie, rich in nutrition meals and snacks, learning to eat slow enough and stop when you have had enough, learn to listen to your body - that is a foundation. Then, on the top of that 10-15 % of your calorie intake can be anything and it doesn't really matter, how junk that is.

    Make a meal plan (including snacks) for longer term, for example for a week. Do it after you have just had a dinner, make yourself a shopping list, go to the store when you have just eaten and do that only ones or twice a week. Buy the junk in small portions (it is not saving money, if you buy over 10 ounce bag of chips at the same price as you would get a 3 ounce bag, if you eat them at one sitting anyway, it is just getting you fat) and don't keep extra home.

    And when you eat junk, never, ever feel guilty or bad because of it, but enjoy the treat! No talking about cheating etc. Having a bit of junk food is not cheating, it is a choice to have a treat or indulge yourself. And it is not wrong, but to stay healthy, you just have to take care, that mostly you eat healthily and only occasionally indulge yourself with unhealthy options.
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I took a look at Ms. 16s medications and they all make you feel very hungry. I felt that way and can still feel that way if I have anything sweet at all. And I used to be skinny and was brought up in a family that is all skinny, so it's not genetic. But once I was put on paroxatene I gained so much weight that I was like a walking beachball and I hated it. I also read that it's impossible to lose weight on Paroxatene, but I didn't really want to believe it so I did go on a monster diet and, after a while of sugar abstinence, I wasn't as hungry and I lost the weight. I have to be very careful not to have that one piece of cake because the Paroxatene craves sugar and I am not above eating the entire cake, then regretting it right after.

    Like all addictions, your daughter needs to want to lose weight to do it. Sonic is way overweight too and I can't make him lose weight or care. Now that he is on his own, he chooses his food better because he doesn't want to spend all his money on food and is more active, since he doesn't drive (he rides his bike everywhere) and he at least is no longer gaining. I don't think that we have much control over weight issues with an older child. They can get whatever they want to eat on their own by the teen years. It does have to come from them. I always had mostly healthy stuff at home and Sonic is overweight anyway.

    Once I lost the extra weight though, my arthritic back didn't feel arthritic anymore and a host of other good things happened. I did do it at Weightwatchers and still sorta know what is a lot of points and what isn't...I don't need to write it down. WW teaches you the good and the bad for weight loss and highly encourages exercise. But like everything else, unless the person wants to lose weight, and it's NOT easy to turn down fatty foods, WW is a waste of money.

    When she is ready to lose weight, I'd take her to a nutritionist. the nutritionist takes diabetes into accounting when helping a person. I see a nutritionist now. They can set up a menu for her, with a variety of foods, and show her how to lose. They also tell you how much exercise you have to do to both maintain and to lose. Who knows? The diabetes may get better or even go away if she loses weight. But I think you will find that until she is ready to do the weight loss thing, it won't happen.

    Weight loss surgery is a GREAT option BUT you have to also control your eating after surgery. Somebody I know had it and she was trying hard to eat well and exercise even before the surgery. Now she looks like a model. No joke. No exaggeration. But she is very mindful of what she eats and exercises a lot too.

    Good luck, CG!!!!
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2014
  10. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    MWM, I am waving agreement on CB having her daughter sit down with a nutritionist.

    I am diabetic. I found this out in June. I also have intestinal issues that require me to be careful of the type and quantity of fiber I eat.

    A nutritionist helped me to figure out a diet plan that worked for me and met my physical requirements as well.

    I am down 26lbs now with 44 to go. I eat well. I'm not starving all the time, etc.

    My BiPolar (BP) and the diabetes make me crave sweets/carbs. My way of dealing with this is a bit weird.

    I do buy cookies, etc, but I only eat one. I put the rest in the freezer where they have to be thawed before I can eat them. I don't eat chips and the like anymore.

    If I crave something like that, I eat a handful of nuts instead. High in calories, yes, but loaded with protein and healthy minerals.

    PCOS is a bear. Ask her doctor about putting her on Metformin. It's a diabetic medication that can cause weight loss as a side effect. At 5'3" and 220, she is dangerously obese.

    I'd strongly recommend both meeting with a nutritionist, and a complete physical before starting a diet program. Ask the doctor about exercise recommendations and have her screened for anything that would contraindicate exercise.

    Losing weight without exercising is very difficult. I'm just now to the point of being able to start walking after fracturing my fibula. My weight loss plateaued.

    Wishing your daughter the best of luck. Don't beat yourself up about whether or not she can have children. Her ongoing good health is a lot more important.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I have PCOS. I have 3 kids. I have a LOT of friends and relatives with PCOS who have children. One friend had it and endometriosis so very badly that her periods were total nightmares. I can remember her praying to not wake up, and asking us to kill her. The pain really was THAT bad. BAck then the ONLY treatment was the pill. It took her mother having a total fit to get them to give her muscle relaxers and pain medications for the really bad days. She had awful awful cramps and n OTC medication did ANYTHING.

    At 16 her gyno told her that if she wanted kids she needed to get pregnant right then. He was a slime ball and she refused t go back. Her mother was totally furious (her mom was in the room when the dr told her this - it wasn't my friend making it up which of course is what it sounded like at first). She got a new doctor because that is NOT what you tell a 16yo.

    My friend has 4 kids. Most of the women I know with PCOS and kids did not need fertility treatments even. We were all told we probably would, but we did not.

    I do know 2 women who have PCOS and wanted kids but did not have them. Both of them were incredibly promiscuous and had repeated STD and would often just ignore the risk of STDs and find out that they had STDs for months at a time. This causes scarring and damage and even with-o PCOS the docs often tell you that you are likely to have a very hard time getting pregnant. One of the women blames her lack of children on PCOS but the other is more realistic in acknowledging that the STD's and lack of prompt treatment for them are vastly more likly to be the cause of her infertility.

    Idon't thnk the PCOS is going to wreck her life. She does ahve to learn about her diet and how to manage it for the PCOS, but only when SHE is ready. Forcing her will only mean she fights every step.

    Even if she refuses to manage the insulin resistance, it is HER body. don't cut her slack or go lightly on her because she is hurting from the PCOS if she isn't doing what she needs to in order to manage the disease. If she wants sympathy and excuses, she can have that when she is Queen of the World. Until then, your roof and your rules should mean she has to take responsibility for her body. If she wants special treatment due to this, she needs to earn it by following the dr and nutritionist advice. otherwise, too bad soooooo sad go clean up the bathroom. Oh, you are angry? Great - put that energy to work and scrub the tub.

    I am serious. This CANNOT be an excuse fr her, not if you want her to grow up and have a life. MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of women have PCOS and they go live productive lives. It isn't a death sentence or disability. The friend with PCOS and endometriosis has held a full time job or 1-4 part time jobs since she was 16. She also raised 3 kids in a house in the country where she homeschooled them and took care of a heck f a lot of livestock in addition to her out of the house jobs. Sure, every couple of months she hurt so bad she had to stay home, but those days were very rare.

    One thing that I think your daughter really NEEDS to learn is that you can feel miserable at school ro a job just as you can at home. But if you are at home, you are not doing anything to progress in your life or to achieve something. You are just sitting at home like a bump on a couch. You still feel yucky, but at least at school there are distractions and people to talk to (or mock in your head, whatever).

    I am sorry she has this, but I think you need to let her take the reins on this and live with the consequences of not staying on the path. She will be of legal age very soon and she truly NEEDS to learn how to handle her own body.

    Just my $0.02, for whatever it is worth.
  12. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    I have the same and was told I would probably never get pregnant. I wound up very fertile and had 3 kids. My ob/gyn calls them my Miracle Babies because women who have PCOS as bad as me don't get pregnant, let alone without fertility help. So, please, don't get too worried about it right now. Just try to get her weight down by healthier eating and plenty of exercise.
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    FG, I was told that due to the PCOS, tilted uterus and a couple of other things that were 'wrong' with my plumbing, that the docs were 99.9% sure I could not get preg OR keep a pregnancy to term. I was 19 yo. At 21 I was on the pill AND using at least one other method of prevention, and wound up discovering I was 16 weeks preg with Wiz. I was told to be thankful and not expect any other kids. HA! Of course I got preg and had 2 more kids.

    Docs don't know NEARLY as much as they think they do about women's bodies and fertility. Turns out I have several cousins who were all told the same thing ( by different docs in different parts fo the country) and they all had more than 1 child each.
  14. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I was told I was sterile due to multiple factors. I was also told that I should still use "protection" because specialists couldn't be 100% sure. I was pretty sure that I was sterile after a few years of fertility treatments/surgeries, etc., but once we decided not to try anymore, I still used a diaphragm and husband used a condom.