One that is not so bad, actually. But, still difficult to deal with. Some of you recall that many years ago when I first came to the board Dex and step-mom did not believe me that difficult child was in fact a difficult child. She did not show that side of herself in the 4 evenings and 2 weekends a month they had her. Even the babysitter would say she acted different when dad picked her up. OK. Then difficult child goes to live with Dex for 1 year. She struggled with the different way that daddy parented, but we got through it, and it did seem to help at least in the way she treated me. Dex and Stepmom came to see just what I was seeing (maybe slightly less intense). They now know the calls from school, the being blamed for your kids actions, etc. Now my difficult child is an ex-difficult child (still ADD, but not as much ODD - although still not a easy child). I have grown through these years and I always saw Dex and stepmom as a few years behind me in the realization of difficult child and therefore how to deal with it. She is a good girl, not a great student, but growing up much more appropriately for her age these days. Dex and step-mom just are not with the age yet. At 16 she should have some more freedoms than she did 4 years ago. It is pretty much still the same as it was 4 years ago for them. Still not trusting her. Still thinking the worst in every situation. Still feeling stressed over it all. How can I get them to see they have to move forward with difficult child and allow certain things to take their course now. At 12 - no, but at 16 some things have to be 'yes' or even 'if you think that is best difficult child'. Because she has to make some big choices in the next few years. And she should be the one making them. How well she does in school, if she has sex, if she tries drugs, if she gets and keeps a job, etc. Right now she claims to be celebate. One of her friends is possibly pregnant. This is the 3rd one I have heard of (none of them very close to difficult child). So I said, 'my goodness haven't these kids ever heard of birth control?' Without skipping a beat my difficult child said, 'Haven't they ever heard of abstinance?' I wanted to stop the car and get out to do a happy dance! So, she is capable of making good choices. She needs to be able to make them without someone telling her if she can or not. What can I say or do?