A no Kanga Christmas (almost)

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by JJJ, Dec 26, 2012.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Late Christmas Eve, Kanga texted me all upset that she is still not pregnant. She wanted to know if something happened to her when she was little that made her unable to have children or cause her children "to get born with no arms or legs". She said she knew it couldn't be "fiances" problem since he already had a 2 year old daughter. I told her that nothing happened to her that would cause that but that she was extremely selfish to try and bring a baby into this world that neither of them could support, especially since he already had prodiced one child he didn't support. Of course, she tells finance who texts me that he "&^*% does support his kid" and he was so angry that Kanga decided that she would skip her Christmas call with us.

    My Vent:
    He supports his kid? Really??? He doesn't support himself! Our State pays about $100,000 a year for HIS care and maintenance. Unless baby mama #1 has a good job (doubtful since she was likely another child in care), our State is likely also supporting HIS CHILD. Of course, both Kanga and he are currently unemployed, having been fired -- again-- but they are 'looking' (doubtful).

    On top of the fiscal irresponsibility, they are both unstable, severely mentally ill teens who have a near 100% chance to pass on their messed up genes, which will be exaserbated by their non-existant parenting skills. I see a long history with CPS in their future. In fact, Kanga has been told that CPS will be alerted to her pregnancy and will likely open a case plan on her when the baby is born (they won't pull the baby unless it tests positive for drugs but they have a 'watch' status for high risk situations, they send a nurse into the home weekly to try and train the new parents on taking care of an infant but they are also looking for signs of abuse/neglect).

    My reality: It was wonderful to not have to speak with her on Christmas. I did send a text wishing her a Merry Christmas and got a rude response. I imagine by next Christmas, it will have been months since we will have heard from her.
     
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    HUGS.........xoxoxoxoxox
     
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    (((((hugs)))))))
     
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    It's sad when we have to be glad not to hear from our kids. But I'm glad you had peace for Christmas. Sending hugs.
     
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hope something really does prevent her from conceiving. I know that sounds awful. Glad your Christmas was more peaceful though! You deserve it so much.
     
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    (((hugs)))
     
  8. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You know we really did think it was either Mandy or Cory that couldnt have kids. Since we werent 100% sure Keyana was really Cory's and Mandy lived with Cory for over 4 years without getting pregnant, we really thought we might be in the clear. I am pretty doubtful she will have another one anytime soon because she got some form of long term birth control not long after having the baby. She cant take the pill, or doesnt want to have to remember, and neither of them will use condoms. Yeah Im a proud mom on that one. After all my lectures, they went in one ear and out the other. The only thing I do know for sure is Cory doesnt have HIV or Hep C because every time he gets arrested they test for that...TG. One good thing about getting arrested I suppose.

    If Kanga has ever had any type of gyn issues she may not be able to get pregnant. One can hope. I just hope she isnt like me and is fertile Myrtle. All a guy had to do was hang his pants on my bed post and I ended up pregnant. LOL
     
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Glad you got a pretty peaceful holiday. :)
     
  11. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Ugh....I hope you enjoyed a peaceful Christmas.
     
  12. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    I know I am horrible for saying this, but after the question "cause her children "to get born with no arms or legs" I would have been sorely tempted to answer in the affermative in hopes that this would disuade her from trying.

    Marcie
     
  13. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Kanga's birth mom said it took her over 10 years and with different partners to conceive Kanga. Of course, she was still a total difficult child at 26 so she lost her kids to CPS. But I think there must be some residual effect to her implant (she only had it removed 2 months ago). I'm guessing she'll be pg by spring.
     
  14. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I get not wanting to hear from them. difficult child was actively trying to have a baby while waiting for a court date on a theft charge. WTH is wrong with them? And Marcy it doesn't matter to them that the baby could be deformed. My difficult child has a very rare genetic disorder that almost guarantees his child will be abnormal. He knows this and we even told the girl he was trying to have a baby with. They both were in denial said it would never happen to them. UG a 75% chance of a deformed child, jail time and no finances but none of it mattered. Thankfully it didn't happen. -RM
     
  15. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    So Sorry. My goodness you just want to ring their necks sometimes.
     
  16. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Our kids don't think beyond 'right this minute I want xyz.'

    Not too, too terribly long ago, my difficult child thought his girlfriend was pregnant -- happened twice in a short period of time actually. I was not gracious about the 'scares' and expressed my hopes each was a false alarm in that neither of them could take care of themselves, let alone a baby!

    Hope mother nature put your difficult child's attempts on hold for a good while.
     
  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I do think if someone had put it in point blank terms that my child could have been born with no arms or legs, I would have had to abort that child. I simply couldnt have done that to a child. You have no idea how many times over the years Tony and I have had to look at each other and wonder if we made a mistake when the doctor's told us there was a good chance something was going to be wrong with Cory and we might want to think about aborting him but we decided that we would deal with whatever God gave us. We often wonder if we made the right decision that was fair to him. Not that we regret it for US, but for him. I dont regret anything I have had to go through in fighting for him or with him. I would do it again. But I do think he has a much harder life than he should have.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2013
  18. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Janet,

    I was always 100% anti-abortion. Then I watched the way some of these children suffer -- every day -- and the pain they cause others.... Now, I just don't know which is the greater evil.
     
  19. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well I will admit I am pro choice but not as a method of birth control. I think it is a very difficult choice that a woman has to make if it would be in the best interest of her and the child she is carrying. If she is only using it as her method of birth control I think it is irresponsible. Of course that is a woman's choice and not for me to say or judge. I can only speak for me. Like I said, it was a decision we thought about hard and weighed the choices as we knew them and made our decisions on what we were told. I still dont know if we did the right thing but we love Cory dearly. Where we do have pangs in our hearts is we look at him and worry we may bury him long before we die. He really doesnt look well. No matter what he does he cant keep weight on and that just doesnt go with our family. Even if he was the thin one of our family he should weigh at least 30 to 40 pounds more. He is extremely skinny to the point he looks almost like he is anorexic but he eats well. And no he isnt on any drugs to cause it. We worry a whole lot.
     
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