A Parent's Dictionary

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Marg's Man, May 8, 2008.

  1. Marg's Man

    Marg's Man Member

    Applies to all parental situations not just difficult child's.

    Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
    Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
    Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.
    Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
    Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
    Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry clothes/shoes into it.
    Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
    Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
    Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
    Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
    Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
    Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
    Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
    Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
    Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
    Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
    Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
    Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
    Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
    Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
    Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
    Verbal: Able to whine in words
    Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
    Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into get a sponge.
     
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Yep!

    My favorite is "Temper Tantrums" - have you been following me? - unfortunately, my difficult child is starting to get used to them and I often hear, "It's o.k. Mommy - just breath"
     
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    :rofl::rofl:

    I'm passing this one on!
     
  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    ROFL - TRUE

    Impregnable - OH MY GOSH - THAT IS PRICELESS!
     
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