A Poem by My Daughter

[tee2]

I thought I'd share this poem my daughter wrote several years ago (at the time she was almost 13), and see what you all think of it. I showed it to her therapist at the time, who didn't have much to say. My daughter pretty much refused to go to anymore therapists after that, saying they weren't helping anything.


Cry For Help

I hate myself.
I hate everything.
Every time I get happy, something goes wrong,
When I’m happy, I think about the bad things,
and the happiness goes away.
Someone help me,
to see the good things of life,
the “what a wonderful word” view,
that I never see.
I wanna live, and like it.
But this is getting to be too much.
Too much to handle, too much to deal with.
The world hates me, I hate it.
I need someone to love, someone that will stay in my life until I die.
Someone that will love me back.
I no there is someone in this world,
but they’re not showing themselves.
And if they don’t hurry, I will commit
the awful deed, suicide.
I hate going home, I strive for freedom.
Where I can do anything, anything I want in this world.
With that one person,
that person that loves me.
What a perfect world that would be,
with no troubles, and no dying.
noone to hurt you,
noone to kill you,
noone to harass you,
only one person, who will live until you die
and will love you so much,
that they kill themselves because of their loss.
But that world isn’t showing itself.
I’m scared of what I’m going to do to myself next.
Please, please, help.

 

[AmyH]

My son has never wrote those words but I hear those same things come out of his mouth. It just breaks my heart to hear and see how these kids feel. My difficult child tells me " I just want to be normal and feel like everyone else" and that is like a dagger in my heart because that is something I can't personally fix.

Thank you for sharing.

 

[looking4hope]

The poem is heartbreaking. What is even more heartbreaking is that the therapist didn't take it seriously! As a teacher, if one of my students wrote that, I would have taken it to the counselor and had a CPS and/or mental health referral done immediately. I'm not a professional, but I do know when a child is crying for help.

On a personal note, my difficult child has more or less said the same words, and it kills me. He hasn't said them in a while, partially because I think he's stabilized on his medications and is generally happier. The bad news is that he's going to visit his dad tonight and be there for four days, so I know that when he gets back, a lot of the same types of emotions evoked in the poem will be going displayed. He keeps saying that when he's old enough he's going to stop seeing his dad, so we shall see.

I am so sorry that your difficult child won't trust a therapist anymore. Have you thought about bringing her to some sort of group therapy for teens, where she's talking to her peers rather than an adult? That might help her at this point. Just a thought.

 

[amazeofgrace]

sniff, my 11 y/o has also expressed so many of the same feelings and thoughts. I ache at the thought of his future and pray for a cure, it's all I can do anymore, it's all so discouraging

 

[julieb]

Being BiPolar (BP) as myself i can too relate with the poem, heartbreaking! I hate to hear such sad things from such a young person.

Praying for you!

 

[Wiped Out]

How very sad. I am astounded the therapist didn't take it seriously.