A positive update post...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, Mar 6, 2015.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I swear God is speaking to me...I have been streaming the church service every Sunday and Wednesday and I absolutely love it!! It is filling something in me that has been empty for some time and I physically feel it in my heart. I can't explain it but it feels real good so I am going with it. But I must admit, I always get somewhat annoyed when they talk about money and giving and never understood why everyone would cheer and get excited when they talked about giving and passing the offering around. I don't know why...but anyway, Wednesday night, Connor and I sat down to stream the service (he curls up on me and watches, too; he dances and claps to the music.). Lo and behold after the music, they brought the rehab that my daughter is in up on the stage!! I screamed in excitement and looked for M and we spotted her - smiling big and bright! Connor pointed to the phone and exclaimed "Momma!" <3 It was SOO cool! Some of the women were graduating and the church was recognizing that. Sharon Thompson, the founder also known as Granny, spoke and gave out diplomas. It was inspiring and awesome. After they were done and went back to their seats, the pastor said - THAT is where your money goes! YOU plant the seed and this is part of the harvest. Turns out the rehab was able to build the dorm for mothers and children largely because of the church's donations. :) And I got it. I get why people get excited to give now. I got the message.

    Anyhow, Granny announced that the program is now a minimum of a year instead of ten months (I know M has no issue with that - she will most likely stay long after that giving back.). Granny also announced that their success rate for the past few years has gone up to 87%!!! That is amazing!!

    I received a letter from M that same day on Wednesday - it was all about how she truly forgives me, and she wrote about some good memories of when she was little. She thanked me over and over for everything and told me how amazing I was. She thanked me for supporting her in my last letter because she thought I would be so disappointed in her for her little bump. :(

    I wrote back saying I have NO doubt how hard this must be and how hard it has to be being away from Connor. There will NO doubt be bumps in the road along the way - it is all about how she handles the bumps. She is STILL there. She is doing it! She is 100% committed to getting better and how in the world could I not be proud of that?? <3

    husband was confused why she would write that she forgives me. I explained to him that this was a good thing. It means that she is truly letting go of past resentments and any wrongs that I may have committed or that she even thought I committed. One thing they were working on with M is that when she would think back on her childhood, she would remember bad times instead of the good and the good times FAR outweighed the bad - but it was the bad she would focus on. So her letter shows movement forward.

    Two more weeks will mark three months that she has been there so far. I am so, so proud of her and I see such an amazing difference in her. WOW. I swear, even seeing her streaming through my phone, you can see a light around her...

    Sorry for the sappy upbeat post but I think we all need to be reminded that it CAN happen - there is light...

    Kid's night is next Friday! Woohoo!! husband and I already booked a spot at a nearby campground for the weekend. We will have Connor on Saturday night with us but the campground is close to home so if he won't sleep, I can drive home with him and husband can pack up the next day. :) Either way, I am so excited for some alone time with hubby in the woods!
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  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great update PG. I'm a bit skeptical of their 87% success rate but if they are a small enough group perhaps they can keep those kind of updates recorded. No program we have ever been involved in would ever give a success rate for obvious reasons. I hope that is true, as I know the sober house my daughter was in is very successful and they do have a lot of women who have achieved long term sobriety. They also have many who leave along the way but those who continue with the program are very successful.

    I'm glad to hear the positive updates wth your daughter, it is all building blocks that will eventually give her a clean road to travel.
  3. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear she is thriving. 87 % success rate sounds very implausible but even if they do some very creative stats (like counting only those who complete their treatment and aftercare plan and track them only short time afterwards) it doesn't mean it would be a bad fit for your daughter. If she likes it and it fits for her she may very well end up to one of their success stories.
  4. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    So happy for you and your daughter!! God is working in your family! Love the positive post PG!
  5. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Sounds like an awesome church-funded program!
    I am so happy that church's out there are supporting this type of thing.
    husband has a father who is fairly well off. He always supports the hungry. He and his wife are involved with large donations to hunger programs. I get a little irritated when I think of all the pain and problems and need associated with help for addiction. Addiction is prevelant on both sides of our family tree and I would just love it if father in law and his wife would take notice of that! Sigh...not my money.

    Meanwhile...I am so proud of your M. She really sounds like she is moving forward in life. Letting go of past resentments and realizing that we did our very very best in raising them, is so important. And of course realizing that addiction is what made home life so ugly at times...not us as their parents.

    Enjoy your night in the woods with hubby. Sounds fun!
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    That IS exciting.
    I truly hope that she is one of the 87%. You must be thrilled. Well, I KNOW you are. She has taken the first step.
  7. We had a program in town telling people that they could make 90% successrate. They were raided several times by the authorities who removed the children. I didn't understand it at the time but it had turned out that their methods were very extreme. My brother who went to 2 different places spoke of 30% successrate as normal in most residential programs.

    Perhaps the rate is based on counting those only who live in the program community after graduation. It doesn't have to be bad if your daughter likes being there. While your daughter has discovered what caused her addiction she still need to learn the signals she has to react upon when life becomes stressful.

    She relapsed because she lost a job she couldn't do physical. It somehow broke her. You saw her mood changes but did not connect it to a relapse. She needs to learn methods to handle this kind of stress or other kind of stress which can get her over the edge. It takes time and it seems good for her that the program is 12 months. But she is in a kind of bobble protected from the outside world. If she remains in the church community after graduation she will keep some of this protection. But what if she some day moves away on her own? Will the 87 % then still count?

    For now enjoy every day you can spend with her. Every day Connor can go there and enjoy being with his mother is a blessing. That is the only thing which counts.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I don't believe such high success rates either, but I do believe in your daughter. She will do this. She WANTS to do this. I have no doubt SHE will make it. She has the right stuff, the support, and she is clearly tired of being addicted. Her desire is clearly very high and that is really the key.
  9. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PG, it sounds like a great place and a great fit. I am pulling for your daughter to be one of the ones that achieve lasting sobriety.

  10. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I saw her at church yesterday. She is still doing really, really good. :) It is a small program (the capacity is 70 women and right now there are many open beds) and a lot of the women stay after the year is up. The stats were only from 2013 to today. So, I can see where they got the success rate, but no matter...no matter at all. And it is probably one of the places that people would consider extreme. But, boy, so are our kids! I know, personally, I would rather my daughter be addicted to Jesus than meth. <3

    M told me yesterday that some of the women left saying they would rather sit in jail. Really sad considering one of the women had recently gotten her child back at Christmas; that little boy will now enter the foster system now because the grandmother refuses to raise him. Even M can't wrap her head around it. She agrees as hard as the program is, it beats a day in jail any day! And this particular woman would have to serve 3 years! M would only have to serve a month but she has NO desire to do that thank God.

    The dorm for mothers with children has many open beds. There are just two women left in that dorm. Goodness, so much help available there and yet not many people have even heard of this place...
  11. stressedmama

    stressedmama Active Member

    Such wonderful news, PG!! I'm so glad M is thriving as I'm sure Connor is as well! Have fun in the woods!!
  12. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member