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A problem in a foreign culture
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 213137" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>There are cultural differences that can sometimes be quite challenging, but we can handle that on this site. Just be patient, not everybody will understand but enough will to make it worth your while. We can help with a lot of things that are universal - the way kids behave in response to the way parents try to handle them.</p><p></p><p>As far as cultural things are concerned - I'm from Australia and I often find some puzzling cultural differences, often surprising. As far as alcohol is concerned here - it is illegal for alcohol to be sold to anyone under 18 but it is legal to allow your own child to try it in your own home, as long as you don't allow your child to be harmed. We encourage our children to TASTE a sip of wine with dinner, on special occasions, if we feel it's a good wine and we want to teach them to recognise quality. If we can give them expensive tastes before they are old enough to buy their own, then maybe when they're legally old enough to buy their own alcohol they won't be able to afford the only stuff they're prepared to drink. At least that is the theory.</p><p></p><p>I was raised as a teetotaller with a father who drank (not to excess) but had no idea HOW to drink with any understanding of what tastes right. In other words, he was drinking for the wrong reasons, in my understanding. So when I was 18 I was living away from home and drinking whatever was left lying around in impoverished student households. Rough stuff.</p><p></p><p>As I learned, I found I had narrow range of likes and a broad range of dislikes. If I'd learned that sooner, I'd have missed out on a lot of very unhealthy drinking.</p><p></p><p>We're now seeing how our strategy has been working - with easy child and difficult child 1, they don't drink to excess. difficult child 1 went through a brief stage of occasionally getting a bit tipsy, but these days he rarely drinks at all and never more than one glass of wine. None of our kids drinks when likely to drive within 12 hours - our laws are strict.</p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 was a problem drinker for a while, but these days has learned that she feels better when she keeps her intake in moderation. Again, taking her to wine tastings as soon as she has been legally old enough, has been a good strategy. When her friends are mainly out to get drunk on whatever pours, and they can only afford really poor quality wine which she finds distasteful, she usually chooses to be "designated driver" - a way of staying sober and still being 'cool'.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 is 14 and has been having sips of wine on rare occasions. He is very anxious about the risk of getting even slightly affected by alcohol, but is learning, sip by sip, to recognise a quality wine and to avoid anything of poor quality. He is also learning that refusing a drink is perfectly acceptable - I no longer drink (health reasons) although I will have a very occasional sip only.</p><p></p><p>Once our kids were legally of drinking age, they would buy their own alcohol and bring it home. We allowed them to drink at their own rate at home because at least that way they were under our supervision. </p><p></p><p>I hope you can find something here that you can adapt to your social situation.</p><p></p><p>And isn't Princess Mary a peach? She and Prince Fred met in an Aussie pub, you know. Maybe there's more meaning in that than we realised...</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the site. Good on you for wanting to help your girls and keep them safe.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 213137, member: 1991"] There are cultural differences that can sometimes be quite challenging, but we can handle that on this site. Just be patient, not everybody will understand but enough will to make it worth your while. We can help with a lot of things that are universal - the way kids behave in response to the way parents try to handle them. As far as cultural things are concerned - I'm from Australia and I often find some puzzling cultural differences, often surprising. As far as alcohol is concerned here - it is illegal for alcohol to be sold to anyone under 18 but it is legal to allow your own child to try it in your own home, as long as you don't allow your child to be harmed. We encourage our children to TASTE a sip of wine with dinner, on special occasions, if we feel it's a good wine and we want to teach them to recognise quality. If we can give them expensive tastes before they are old enough to buy their own, then maybe when they're legally old enough to buy their own alcohol they won't be able to afford the only stuff they're prepared to drink. At least that is the theory. I was raised as a teetotaller with a father who drank (not to excess) but had no idea HOW to drink with any understanding of what tastes right. In other words, he was drinking for the wrong reasons, in my understanding. So when I was 18 I was living away from home and drinking whatever was left lying around in impoverished student households. Rough stuff. As I learned, I found I had narrow range of likes and a broad range of dislikes. If I'd learned that sooner, I'd have missed out on a lot of very unhealthy drinking. We're now seeing how our strategy has been working - with easy child and difficult child 1, they don't drink to excess. difficult child 1 went through a brief stage of occasionally getting a bit tipsy, but these days he rarely drinks at all and never more than one glass of wine. None of our kids drinks when likely to drive within 12 hours - our laws are strict. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was a problem drinker for a while, but these days has learned that she feels better when she keeps her intake in moderation. Again, taking her to wine tastings as soon as she has been legally old enough, has been a good strategy. When her friends are mainly out to get drunk on whatever pours, and they can only afford really poor quality wine which she finds distasteful, she usually chooses to be "designated driver" - a way of staying sober and still being 'cool'. difficult child 3 is 14 and has been having sips of wine on rare occasions. He is very anxious about the risk of getting even slightly affected by alcohol, but is learning, sip by sip, to recognise a quality wine and to avoid anything of poor quality. He is also learning that refusing a drink is perfectly acceptable - I no longer drink (health reasons) although I will have a very occasional sip only. Once our kids were legally of drinking age, they would buy their own alcohol and bring it home. We allowed them to drink at their own rate at home because at least that way they were under our supervision. I hope you can find something here that you can adapt to your social situation. And isn't Princess Mary a peach? She and Prince Fred met in an Aussie pub, you know. Maybe there's more meaning in that than we realised... Welcome to the site. Good on you for wanting to help your girls and keep them safe. Marg [/QUOTE]
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