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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 115566" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Definitely talk to the coach, but do leave the door open for reconciliation with that boy. I really do worry when we slam doors shut permanently when there could be chance to rescue the situation or the other child. </p><p></p><p>I am beginning to understand just how seriously the use of that word is being taken. Not living in the US, this is something totally alien to us here in Australia, apart from the chat shows that make it across the Pacific. An episode of Oprah a year or two ago explained the issues in detail, over this word.</p><p></p><p>Kids like to shock. Using a word which used to be far more acceptable but is now considered shocking - the other boy may simply not understand just how unacceptable this is. To be able to sort it out, at least to the point of mediation and resolution, would surly give the most positive outcome possible? Even if the boys can't be friends for other reasons, at least it won't be because of this.</p><p></p><p>I also would hate for any African-American to feel worse about him/herself because someone used that word. It's an anachronism, it's ancient, it in itself is a mispronunciation in a dialect which implies poor education/grammar on the part of the speaker. It upsets me that anybody takes it seriously enough to wound. The trouble is, it is being delivered with serious intent to wound, much of the time. And we take the intent on board.</p><p></p><p>However, all that aside - the current social requirements are what must be adhered to. This must be sorted out, for difficult child's sake as well as this other boy's. He has to learn that the word is unacceptable, or he will use it again on some other person. And if he is using it, knowing it will wound and is unacceptable - he must be called on it.</p><p></p><p>Interestingly, on the subject of that word - difficult child 3 & I were beginning to watch "Blazing Saddles" this morning. When that film was made, the word was far less shocking than it is today. As we watch the film further I will be using the opportunity, though, to explain to difficult child 3 that using that word today is not acceptable; the examples in that film are coming from characters who are not being very nice at all and they are not to be emulated. It's interesting - this is a movie which in so many ways challenges stereotypes, right from the very beginning. I guess it's the nature of satire. I need to teach him, though - he's still echolalic, at least with quoting large slabs of text from films or books. The last thing I need is for him to be quoting slabs of movie text and offending any US tourists in the vicinity!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 115566, member: 1991"] Definitely talk to the coach, but do leave the door open for reconciliation with that boy. I really do worry when we slam doors shut permanently when there could be chance to rescue the situation or the other child. I am beginning to understand just how seriously the use of that word is being taken. Not living in the US, this is something totally alien to us here in Australia, apart from the chat shows that make it across the Pacific. An episode of Oprah a year or two ago explained the issues in detail, over this word. Kids like to shock. Using a word which used to be far more acceptable but is now considered shocking - the other boy may simply not understand just how unacceptable this is. To be able to sort it out, at least to the point of mediation and resolution, would surly give the most positive outcome possible? Even if the boys can't be friends for other reasons, at least it won't be because of this. I also would hate for any African-American to feel worse about him/herself because someone used that word. It's an anachronism, it's ancient, it in itself is a mispronunciation in a dialect which implies poor education/grammar on the part of the speaker. It upsets me that anybody takes it seriously enough to wound. The trouble is, it is being delivered with serious intent to wound, much of the time. And we take the intent on board. However, all that aside - the current social requirements are what must be adhered to. This must be sorted out, for difficult child's sake as well as this other boy's. He has to learn that the word is unacceptable, or he will use it again on some other person. And if he is using it, knowing it will wound and is unacceptable - he must be called on it. Interestingly, on the subject of that word - difficult child 3 & I were beginning to watch "Blazing Saddles" this morning. When that film was made, the word was far less shocking than it is today. As we watch the film further I will be using the opportunity, though, to explain to difficult child 3 that using that word today is not acceptable; the examples in that film are coming from characters who are not being very nice at all and they are not to be emulated. It's interesting - this is a movie which in so many ways challenges stereotypes, right from the very beginning. I guess it's the nature of satire. I need to teach him, though - he's still echolalic, at least with quoting large slabs of text from films or books. The last thing I need is for him to be quoting slabs of movie text and offending any US tourists in the vicinity! Marg [/QUOTE]
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