A shread of hope...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Feb 3, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I just got home. difficult child is still in juvy but here's what happened. First, I found out he was charged with malicious wounding, which I wasn't sure that should be the correct charge because the only actual wound I got was a superficial scratch on the back of my wrist- I thought thhere was a charge like "threat" or intimidation with a weapon. But anyway, I went to see the PO while waiting for the arraignment to show her the scratch and make sure she knew what had happened. She didn't care and said he was going to be held, he wasn't coming back home. I asked about getting him in a psychiatric hospital and she rolled her eyes and said no, he's been in and they let him out so they obviously don't think he needs anything more. (It's pointless trying to explain the mental health issues and process with her.) I told her (and later the judge) that a gentleman from detention called me late last night concerned over difficult child and his "issues" and that he had seen difficult child's arm and could tell he had previously been cutting. PO claimed she never knew that- I said yes, you did. I know she did- plus she was copied my letter to judge that says he was admitted to psychiatric hospital in Dec for self-harming behavior. (I think because she doesn't beleive in mental health problems, she tends to blow them all off and forget about anything I tell her along those lines)

    Then, an attny on call met up with me. I showed her the scratch and gave her a copy of my letter to the judge that I happened to take with me this morning. I told her that the judge had agreed to hear my request to get difficult child into a psychiatric Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but the hearing date had not been set yet. I told her my son should be in psychiatric hospital. She had gone to see difficult child earlier this morning and he told her he wanted to go to psychiatric hospital. I also told this attny what PO's position was and what she was going to say and that the psychiatric hospital released difficult child 2 weeks ago because my insurance only covers acute stays and pays for a stay of 3-7 days and they couldn't find quick funding to get him straight to psychiatric Residential Treatment Center (RTC), so I put that letter and request into judge. She started reading that letter I'd written to judge and took off. Then she went into the courtroom, then the PO was called into the courtroom.

    This courtroom was not difficult child's judge that always hears his cases- this was a different one for arraignment only. Well, last year we found out that difficult child's favorite teacher- who happens to think a lot of difficult child and she and I have emailed several times (she was his accelerated math teacher and on his iep team last year and they buy each other little gifts)- is married to a judge over there. We got lucky- that turned out to be difficult child's arraigning judge.

    So, then I got called into courtroom. They had difficult child on tv instead of in courtroom. They couldn't find difficult child's file. I told them I knew where it was- it was on Judge A's clerk's pile of stuff to set a hearing date for a misc motion because I just checked the status of it yesterday. He sent his clerk, and she brought the file right back. Then, attny gave judge a copy of my letter that had been written to Judge A 2 weeks ago. Attny told judge that I'd like to take difficult child to psychiatric hospital. Judge said he wasn't comfortable doing that because he didn't want to release difficult child to me after what just happened and we needed a cooling off period and PO said he'd been in psychiatric hospital before and he was released because they didn't think he needed to be held there . Judge said well, maybe he can get into state hospital- which may be in our best interest. (I hadn't thought of that, but at this point, it could lead to pysch Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with a fairly straight path, maybe). Judge said that would take a competency evaluation from mental health and was looking thru file to see results of previous one done. He couldn't find it at first so he asked if anyone knew if one had been completed before and what results were. I said yes, one had been done but they had trouble finding it at court that time, but the results were that difficult child was not competent. PO said she didn't know if one had ever been done before or not (she said this in a way that tried to sound like she wouldn't just take my word for it). Then, judge found it and he said it states that difficult child was found incompetent but that it was thought it was due to maturation.

    Then he commented on all the psychiatric related stuff in difficult child's file and ask if the previously ordered mst services were ever fulfilled. PO said that I had stopped them because I wasn't happy with them. I said your honor, it wasn't that I wasn't happy with them, it was that I had my son evaluation'd at XXXX (considered a state expert place) and got written recommendations regarding my son and it was found that my son does not have conduct disorder, he has mood cycling and mst was not the recommended treatment for him, CBT was, so I requested the judge to change her order, and she did, because I was trying to do WHAT. WAS. IN. MY. SON'S. BEST. INTERST. (I was looking at the PO at that point)

    Then judge kind of smirked but looked at me like a warning. (Yes, I know) Then he looked at tv monitor and told difficult child that he knew one of his favorite teachers quite well because he was married to her and that he was very disappointed in difficult child because he had heard a whole lot about him. Then he looked at me and said -for that reason, he would never hear an actual case on difficult child. I nodded that I understood. So, he ordered that gal get back on board, difficult child gets a court appointed attorney- they asked why I had replaced court appointed attny before and I said it was because they had no time to spend on case and talk with me and difficult child before court. Another attny in there said he would commit to it and assure me that he would find time for us this time, and I said ok. Then, judge ordered another competency evaluation since the other was 2 years old, and said it was to include an evaluation for need to go to state psychiatric hospital and they told me to contact difficult child's gal right away to get her updated so she can make sure that the evaluation is done ASAP- not 3 weeks from now like last time- and let her help move things "in the right direction" quickly. He set a court date for late Feb. And that was it- he didn't asked PO's opinion or CA's attny's opinion.

    I'm really glad that I had gotten all that in difficult child's file before and that I happened to take a copy of that letter with me this morning and that difficult child did not do any crime outside the home in the "community" or at school and I did show everyone in court, including judge, the scratch on my arm so they would know that it was stopped before it got to a point of needing medical attention. Really, I can't believe that the people in court would buy PO's image and portrayal that I'm the resistant problem and difficult child's mental health is an excuse. There are 2 judge's now who seem to have taken it serious, at least that's the way I view it.

    What do you all think? Is state psychiatric hospital, where they can keep difficult child as long as they feel it's needed then lead him to psychiatric Residential Treatment Center (RTC), the best option you see at this point? When the kids are locked in detention, I can't even count on staff to give him his medications regularly or correctly. They messed them up 3 times in 2 weeks last year.

    If difficult child does go to state psychiatric hospital, I don't think he would be there too long because they are closing it- I just don't know when.
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2009
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Wow! Sounds like things may be headed in the right direction for a change. I'm glad this judge actually listened to you -- too bad he as to recuse himself from any involvement with difficult child's case...

    You are doing a great job and it's so good you've documented things so well and done all this leg work in making sure the right people have the right papers in front of them to further help difficult child's case.

    I don't know anything about whether state hospital is the best way to go... I hope that this new turn of events will finally get difficult child in the facility to help him best. You have been fighting the system so long and so hard -- it's ridiculous.

    Keeping you both in my prayers!
  3. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    First of all, I can't stand that gosh darn PO!!!! We warrior moms should all get together and meet her in the parking lot!!!!!!!!!! Some old school justice.

    I am SO happy for you. Your persistence and concern for your son has finally been vindicated!!! By whose opinion really matters, the judge!!! Good for you for getting that little dig in towards the PO. (I would rather refer to her as something else) It is about time things started working in your favor. All the leg work is finally paying off. I am so glad the file had everything you needed in it. Thank God you did not give in to all the obstacles that were thrown in your way!!! You go girl!!!

    Small world hu? You had the connection this time. I hope that PO felt as small as I think her brain is!!!

    Take this time to enjoy the fruits of YOUR labor. You deserve a break!!! Do something nice for you. Make it all about YOU! YOU! YOU!

    You are a true warrior mom!!:warrior:
  4. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    I'm sorry for the whole turn of events that got you here, but it does seem like there is hope of some help here.
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    What a relief to finally hear that you are being heard and that you are finally making progress toward helping your son. You definitely looked like the "expert" in that courtroom today. How come a parent knows exactly where the file is--but the clerk can't seem to find it? Not only that, but it sounds like you knew the contects of that file backwards and forward--you got their attention today!


    Good for you for sticking to your guns all this time!

    Hopefully now things are headed in the right direction!

  6. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The state hospital isn't the best environment, however.. I think it's TONS better than difficult child staying in detention and you're right, it may lead to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement. Just be prepared .. it is not as "warm and fuzzy" as some of the other psychiatric hospital. Kids there tend to be in foster care, with uninvolved parents.. at least, that was my experience a few years ago. I think given the choice of detention or the state psychiatric hospital, definitely take the state psychiatric hospital. At least he'll be monitored, get his medications regularly, and get some therapy while he's there.

    You've done great!
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thank you both. I'm very sorry all this happened, too. I honestly believe that if we'd had a different PO, this would have taken a better route. I don't really know if GAL will take difficult child's position or mine. She seemed to be taking mine toward the end of things last year, however, I went off pretty good in court to the judge about how GAL had been assigned to get difficult child help 2 years ago and she spent a year doing nothing more than investigating me and stirring up trouble in my family and keeping my bro and his custody case stirred up by spending more time on the phone with him than trying to get difficult child help and that she had not done one thing to get difficult child or even open up one door for me to get him help. So, I'm probably not her favorite person either. At least I didn't alienate that teacher. :)
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That's what I'm thinking too, Crazy. I would have taken difficult child to same psychiatric hospital today, then we would be back where we were, at least in part, next week. I soooo wish that I had not have tried that abilify. I don't know if that caused the violence or not, but I do know that it caused hypomania, at least. difficult child's tell-tale signs of not being able to sleep, being restless, and going on cleaning sprees were my proof.
  9. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    That would be what, Central? I can't remember where you're directed. Or do they send up to Commonwealth?

    My only experience has been with Western.....which wasn't great, but did eventually lead to perm. group home for my stepbrother.......after 80 billion "catch and release" situations with the local police....but eventually it worked out pretty well. I don't know much about their kids units, though. Sounds like Crazy knows more. :)
  10. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Make one more call today... call the prescribing doctor about the abilify. You want his reaction noted in his file for the future.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Good idea, TM- thank you!!
  12. Wow! I am so sorry that it took escalating to this point. But it does seem like you are finally headed in the right direction. I personally think the state hospital is the best route to go at this point, if they can keep him until a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement is made available.
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I did the local hospital psychiatric unit holding tank that couldnt house a teen so they "threatened" me with sending Cory to our state mental hospital. Little did they know that I was wanting them to send him there....lol. It was the one place that would hold him for more than 3 to 5 days. I refused to take him home from the local hospital and they transferred him to state...he stayed there for about 5 weeks, they saw what I saw and transferred him to a psychiatric residential treatment facility on the same grounds as the state hospital. Now Cory did all this voluntarily but he could have been court ordered to do this if the court felt he needed it. Every so many days Cory had to sign a paper stating that he still was willing to be in the facility. Cory did it because he knew if he didnt he had to face my wrath. I didnt get him into a placement just for him to refuse to stay...lol.
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks, BD & Janet- I am hoping this is what happens with difficult child. He needs a psychiatric Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to also have more time with a psychiatrist to get medications adjusted. I asked for this 2 weeks ago. I hope that since they are going to close that psychiatric hospital, that they don't waste any time looking for an appropriate placement. But, that's assuming that he makes it there to begin with. I think there's a good chance he will.

    UPDATE: I just got a call from mental health- they are doing an emergency evaluation on difficult child today to see if he needs tdo to psychiatric hospital. She called to get info about recent history and is going to talk to PO and GAL. I gave her a heads up about PO's view of mental health issues.
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2009
  15. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    klmno, things seem to be moving in the right direction. Keep up the good work! I'll be keeping you and difficult child in my thoughts.
  16. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    YAY on mental health evaluation. Keeping fingers and toes crossed .....
  17. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member


    Kanga spent 81 days hospitalized last year. All but 1 week of that was at our version of a state hospital. I found that staff had plenty of time to talk with me because they were so few involved parents. Because I look so prepared with all my parent reports and binders (thanks to this board!), I did have a few think I was her case worker. I cannot say enough good things about the one hospital that kept Kanga for 51 of those days.
  18. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That's ggod news, JJJ. I just spoke with difficult child's therapist- I told him the goal and he said he would be willing to talk to people and let them know that this was probably the best option at this point. He said difficult child had been talking to him about guilty feelings and how to get things back on a better foot. He sounded very disappointed. I told him this is just difficult child's bad time of year and medication changes in Oct really got him out of kelter, and that if difficult child is home and seeing him during stable periods, that he would really see a likable , good kid who has a lot going for him. Then, I gave him verbal permission to speak with the evaluating person at the detention center, called back over there and gave her therapist's name, number, and verbal permission to talk with him. I told them I would sign a written release if they needed me to later. She's going to call hiim now.

    Oh- therapist said what state psychiatric hospital would they send him to- they are all closing? I said I don't know but they would have to contract out to another place or something.
  19. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    There are articles out there on the state hospital issue. Hopefully something changes about that. Geh.
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2009
  20. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    eeky- thanks - but I'd rather not make the psychiatric hospital he's going to public knowledge. There are lurkers who try to get info on people, then call places, etc, Can we please refrain from getting to specific about any that are or are not available and use PM for any specific info? There have been many people stirring up ca*p in our lives _ PLEASE do not post specific info. publicly.

    The counselor called me back- she hadn't spoken to anyone but me and difficult child at this point and had already decided to tdo difficult child. She said it was mainly based on what he told her. She is checking on bed availability, where he might be going, and process of transport, etc. She said she didn't know if they would use my provate insurance- meaning that he would be discharged and sent back to detention after the typical 5 day stay. She said she's doing something to try to get them to keep him longer, so it might lead to more evaluation's and medication stabilization. She said she'll call me back when she knows more. I asked her to tell difficult child that I will be there- I am not abandoning him.

    I also gave her psychiatrist's name and number so they can discuss medications, verify, and discuss abilify trial.