A sister vent!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by standswithcourage, Jun 10, 2009.

  1. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Well this is the deal - my sister stays with my 82 year old dad - she lives with him - she has been divorced twice - no children - so she lived with our mom and dad since her divorce - anyway my mom passed away in 2004 - so every summer my sister says she wants to go to the beach - and we never have - if my daddy doesnt want to go - she doesnt go - she is afraid to leave him by himself for two days - I understand he is old and set in his ways but what if he lives to be 90 - she will never get to go anywhere! So here we are again - I am going down there this weekend for a family reunion - initially she said after that we would go to St. Augustine only about 2 hours away from Valdosta - but I bet we dont - it makes me sad because I get my hopes up every time - we didnt go last year for the same reason. what can I do or say about it? I dont have any other plans to go right now. My hubby has just been put on part-time engineering status so our funds may be low for a family vacation. any suggestions?
     
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Susan---when money is tight I like to take a vacation in my own backyard. I find local sites I've put off seeing, and go and visit just like I'm a tourist. I know the area you are in has some interesting place. Or maybe you can take off for the day and ride the mountains. Find a stream/creek and have a picnic.
     
  3. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I guess to make the sting less, you could view it as at least your father is in good care. With your sis not wanting to leave him, its because she's overly concerned for his care and wellbeing and safety. I hear far too many horror stories of elders being not cared for properly. So I think your sister is great for taking on caring for your father.

    Now, for your being disappointed, I can understand that too. Are you planning to visit her anyhow but looking for things to do other than a couple days away? Or are you thinking of doing something else with your time away but money is tight so you're looking for creative ideas? Might help us help you find a solution that will ensure you have a nice time away :)

    by the way, although I've been lurking mostly for 2 years, I'm an old timer, Been round here for about 10 years. Ive read many of your threads, as I've kept up reading even if I've not been posting. So I'm Melissa, would like to introduce myself. I have watched you grow and change and love your son and wanted to say nice to actually meet you finally :) Also, I love your screen name! I wish I'd have thought of something original like that. I'm native. I wish I had a native name and could have something neat like that lol.
     
  4. MaryB

    MaryB New Member

    Hi,

    I've been a lurker on the board for a very long time. So, I know the story about your son. LOL...that's an introduction.

    My parents are 87(dad) and 83(mom). Dad does not want to go anywhere--stay at home is his motto unless one of his children wants to take him to garden seminars, etc. (mostly me) However, he enjoys being at home and visiting with his children (there are 8 of us living). That is what my dad enjoys the most as we're scattered all over the place. I can imagine the stress your sister is undertaking to care for an elderly parent. So far, my parents take care of each other but we're fast coming to the point where us siblings will have to step in.

    How about sending your sister to the beach (for stress relieve) and you staying with your dad for that time? Quality time, just you and him? I don't know the dynamics of your family but it's just a suggestion. Maybe even sending husband and DS with your sister? I know my dad would love it--spending time alone with one of his children.

    Just something to think about.

    MaryB
     
  5. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    thanks all! I guess the bottom line is that it is great that she is there in the same city, etc., I will not make a big deal out of not getting to go now. I dont think she would want to go by herself and I dont know who else could go with her. I just wish we could work something out but I dont want to make her feel bad about not going. Daddy used to love the beach but now since my mom died he doesnt care as much. Thanks for all the comments.
     
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Is there another family member who could come by and visit your Dad the day you plan to go to the beach? That way Dad gets some new company and sis gets a badlly needed break. Or would he perhaps be interested in visiting a senior citizens center and visiting with other seniors while your at the beach?

    Or how about choosing something else you and sis would enjoy that wouldn't take you that far away from Dad? He could have a contact number in case of emergency.

    Caring for an elderly parent full time is a heavy load, and awfully stressful. I'm sure sis could use the break. And maybe if the two of you talk it thru you can come up with a workable solution.

    Hugs
     
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