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A Typical Weekend
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<blockquote data-quote="KitKat" data-source="post: 124016" data-attributes="member: 4518"><p>Thank YOU!!</p><p></p><p>Re the privileges, we've taken hockey away before (when he got suspended from school three days, two weeks in a row) and it really affected difficult child. He said he didn't care, but he got into even more trouble when it was removed. You see, he is a stellar player (all positions, really amazing he can concentrate on THAT and not other things). It is really the only thing he does that makes him feel good about himself. So this week he had a good week at school and played hockey again - but it didnt' seem to do any good. Still the behaviour.</p><p></p><p>I appreciated the comment about the door. A few years ago, we took it away from him for about six months. Now he is 15 and a half - we wondered if it was still appropriate?. I just don't know where to draw the line with "little kid" consequences as opposed to trying to treat him like an adult or at least a teenager. He still doesn't have a closet door as he rammed all of his model cars into it and we had to throw it out in the garbage two years ago. We haven't replaced it, neither have we replaced the furniture we bought him that he broke up. We've only repaired the holes in his walls - we take the money from his bank account for plaster and paint etc.</p><p></p><p>I guess I didn't convey it clearly, but I am REALLY WORRIED about him talking to himself. He literally had conversations with himself that mirrored discussions we had this weekend, but our version was changed to make him the victim 100% of the time. I am also worried about him living at his bio mom's during the week. We're getting help via CPS (Canadian version) that starts tomorrow, he's with a psycho-educator at school (started last week), and we're again on a waiting list for child psychiatry services but it's all just part of a long list of supporters, cheerleaders and others who criticized but wouldn't participate to any measurable degree I'm talking a span of ten years and this includes family members as well as the private and social system. </p><p></p><p>I'm also worried about our six year old who is now displaying aggressive behaviour that was never there before. difficult child tells him he doesn't have to listen to us - that we're cruel and mean and unfair. What's a little brother to believe?? We'd like difficult child to live here again but where does one draw the line between saving a family member and destroying all of the rest of them? I feel like a loser. I am educated, fairly patient and my husband (bio father) is one in a million. Is there a magic wand out there somewhere?</p><p></p><p>Re medications, he does take them if we're standing over him. Otherwise (at his mom's for instance) we don't know if he is taking them or throwing them out. We've given some extra to the school but so far he hasn't said he's needed them (ie. forgot to take them).</p><p></p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KitKat, post: 124016, member: 4518"] Thank YOU!! Re the privileges, we've taken hockey away before (when he got suspended from school three days, two weeks in a row) and it really affected difficult child. He said he didn't care, but he got into even more trouble when it was removed. You see, he is a stellar player (all positions, really amazing he can concentrate on THAT and not other things). It is really the only thing he does that makes him feel good about himself. So this week he had a good week at school and played hockey again - but it didnt' seem to do any good. Still the behaviour. I appreciated the comment about the door. A few years ago, we took it away from him for about six months. Now he is 15 and a half - we wondered if it was still appropriate?. I just don't know where to draw the line with "little kid" consequences as opposed to trying to treat him like an adult or at least a teenager. He still doesn't have a closet door as he rammed all of his model cars into it and we had to throw it out in the garbage two years ago. We haven't replaced it, neither have we replaced the furniture we bought him that he broke up. We've only repaired the holes in his walls - we take the money from his bank account for plaster and paint etc. I guess I didn't convey it clearly, but I am REALLY WORRIED about him talking to himself. He literally had conversations with himself that mirrored discussions we had this weekend, but our version was changed to make him the victim 100% of the time. I am also worried about him living at his bio mom's during the week. We're getting help via CPS (Canadian version) that starts tomorrow, he's with a psycho-educator at school (started last week), and we're again on a waiting list for child psychiatry services but it's all just part of a long list of supporters, cheerleaders and others who criticized but wouldn't participate to any measurable degree I'm talking a span of ten years and this includes family members as well as the private and social system. I'm also worried about our six year old who is now displaying aggressive behaviour that was never there before. difficult child tells him he doesn't have to listen to us - that we're cruel and mean and unfair. What's a little brother to believe?? We'd like difficult child to live here again but where does one draw the line between saving a family member and destroying all of the rest of them? I feel like a loser. I am educated, fairly patient and my husband (bio father) is one in a million. Is there a magic wand out there somewhere? Re medications, he does take them if we're standing over him. Otherwise (at his mom's for instance) we don't know if he is taking them or throwing them out. We've given some extra to the school but so far he hasn't said he's needed them (ie. forgot to take them). :( [/QUOTE]
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