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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 727631" data-attributes="member: 18958">Lbl. First thing after coffee I thought about e and you. (I cannot begin to intuit how your stoic husband is dealing with this--except stoically which has its costs.)I hope you are focused upon work, pacing yourself and deep breathing (which I am learning belatedly brings me to my real home.)By the end of today there will be a reality son has created and will have to face. There is no way that is not a good thing. Why? Because these years like for my son are not in the main about establishing careers etc but about establishing a relationship to themselves and life. Without mom as a filter, bulwark, mediator, shock absorber, enforcer, ace in the hole, cruise director, manager...etc.&nbsp; I raise my hand to each of these.My own son is keeping a wide berth from me. I think he is making a conscious decision that he can better draw on his strengths and better distinguish a course with me sidelined. I think he is saying later to my intensity, drama, hanging on him...(exaggerated but not entirely.)&nbsp; It is after all his life. Not mine.I miss him. But I understand.So looking at e one way this is exciting. He is beginning his true life as a man. With parents like you guys I feel certain he will right himself and live as a good man. but like my son he will insist upon choosing himself.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 727631, member: 18958"] Lbl. First thing after coffee I thought about e and you. (I cannot begin to intuit how your stoic husband is dealing with this--except stoically which has its costs.) I hope you are focused upon work, pacing yourself and deep breathing (which I am learning belatedly brings me to my real home.) By the end of today there will be a reality son has created and will have to face. There is no way that is not a good thing. Why? Because these years like for my son are not in the main about establishing careers etc but about establishing a relationship to themselves and life. Without mom as a filter, bulwark, mediator, shock absorber, enforcer, ace in the hole, cruise director, manager...etc. I raise my hand to each of these. My own son is keeping a wide berth from me. I think he is making a conscious decision that he can better draw on his strengths and better distinguish a course with me sidelined. I think he is saying later to my intensity, drama, hanging on him...(exaggerated but not entirely.) It is after all his life. Not mine. I miss him. But I understand. So looking at e one way this is exciting. He is beginning his true life as a man. With parents like you guys I feel certain he will right himself and live as a good man. but like my son he will insist upon choosing himself. [/QUOTE]

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