A week with-o a bath

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TerryJ2, Jan 5, 2015.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    We spent New Year's Eve and the first couple of days of January at my brother's house in Calif. difficult child never once bathed or brushed his teeth. Even easy child said something to him.
    So gross. I thought he'd gotten past that stage. :(
    Rant over. Thanks for listening.:(:eek:o_O:cry::frown:
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Yup. been there done that. He's not at home - so, more stress, shared spaces... not comfortable with hygene anyway, so harder to do in a strange place... or maybe just being a difficult child like normal...
  3. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    That is one thing I will never, ever understand. When our son came home from "college" he went probably 4 weeks without showering or brushing his teeth. I finally told him literally, bathe, brush or pack! His teeth we spent $5k on braces for were brown as a Carnie. Ick! (They have gotten better.) I literally can't sleep without brushing my teeth and never have. Camping, sick, drunk - I brush.
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  4. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    I'd say being a difficult child like normal. I can skip a day without showering or brushing my teeth but that's IT!! Its one thing if they don't have the means but when they are staying with family or in a shelter? Come on!!!
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sonic literally, at twenty one, is first brushing his teeth twice a day and taking a bath maybe three times a week. It WAS gross. He is a big boy and sweats a lot. He should actually shower every single day, but I'm so glad he is FINALLY understanding hygiene:notalone: better. Baby steps.
  6. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I would turn the hose on him! LOL Then again my kids say I am mean.

    I cant stand not to be clean. The hair dresser fusses at me all the time for washing my hair daily. My kids laugh at me because i bathe before I go outside to do yardwork and after. I do the same thing when cleaning house. I can't stand to feel dirty.
  7. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Lil isn't quite as bad as you, dstc. Almost, but not quite!
  8. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    That is totally not true! LOL We have a cleaning job and we don't shower before we go because we're just getting sweaty and dirty anyway. (We shower after.) I don't wash my hair more than about every three days because it's too dry. We go camping and I don't shower every day then.

    But I can't miss more than one day without feeling just gross.

    Now brushing my teeth...that's a deal breaker. Gotta brush before bed.

    Jabber is spending way too much time on the board today. Which I know because I am too!
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  9. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Key phrase Honey...Not quite!!
  10. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    This question has been on every questionnaire I have ever had to fill out at a phospital, psychiatrist, or therapists office. Does your child resist/does not brush his teeth or bathe? I figured that it was key to knowing whether they had issues or not.
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  11. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Lack of hygiene is a very common indicator of substance abuse and certain mental health issues.
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  12. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Ugh! What is UP with the no hygiene thing some difficult children? :biting:

    Son hates brushing his teeth. He never would if I didn't nag him. The last time, a couple of years ago, our family dentist began to lecture me about his lack of tooth care while he was cleaning my teeth because they were becoming so bad. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I sat up and pushed the tray of instruments away and told him if he didn't stop I was walking out to never return along with the family. Then, I informed him of the struggles and battles I had just in getting him to come to the dentist for years and that the only reason I could get him to agree was because of his very cute and sweet receptionist and her kindness towards him.

    He will, however, shower, but I've seen him go a week without one. I do nag much less these days now that he's 18. I can't micromanage this kid forever. He also will wear every single piece of clothing until all are dirty before he launders his clothes. A couple of weeks ago, the smell coming from his room due to dirty clothing began to smell up the entire house!

    I feel your pain, Terry.
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    It's a big symptom for autistic spectrum disorder too. Autistics don't know or care about societal norms. Sonic is a good person who is not a problem, but he'd always ask, "Why does anyone care if I'm clean? I just get dirty again the next day." That is his logic ;) He said the same thing about doing laundry, which he has had to do himself since age fourteen. "Why do I have to do it? The clothes will just get dirty again." But he'd do it if asked. We explained how smelling bad makes other people uncomfortable. He acted shocked. "Why do they care how I smell?" Socially clueless, clueless, clueless.

    Again, though, he understands now and is really doing much better. He got mouthwash as a stocking stuffer for Christmas this year and was very happy about it...lol.
  14. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    My guy's hygiene goes downhill when he's depressed and/or when he needs his medications adjusted. He was on an antipsychotic last summer and when they cut the dosage in half the change in him was remarkable; he was shaved, hair cut, showered and appropriately dressed.
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I can see I'm in good company. ;)

    difficult child's gums are bright red. He's got his 6-mo checkup and cleaning at the dentist on Tuesday. They are really going to get on him for that, and I hope he gets the message. No gums, no teeth.
  16. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member



    Like I've said before - I can cope with the political ranting and the extreme alternative lifestyle - but the grime and the smell? ... can't cope with that.

    The communal dog has just had 2 puppies too and my son's adopted one of them (says having a dog will give him a reason to think about a future) - can't keep himself clean so no idea how he's going to look after a puppy and the associated clearing-up issues... but hey-ho, I'm detached, not thinking about it, humming along in my 'radical acceptance' place. Just practising the conversation... "no, no you can't bring the dog here to stay, no it's not coming in the house, wash your hands, clear that dogsh*t off your boots before you come in the house..."
  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If he's a typical difficult child, maybe it's about time he learned to deal with s**t instead of dishing it out... ;)
  18. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Can't get my difficult child to a dentist to save his life but when easy child had her wisdom teeth out last month he expressed interest because he figured he could camp out here and I could give him vicodin. Not gonna happen.
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    He just took a shower! Yippee!
  20. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I find that kinda sweet. And really, dogs are naturally cleaner than most people think. Maybe caring for something else will inspire him to care more about himself?

    For our son it's more teeth than shower. (Although he doesn't particularly like doing either.) After two years of braces, (which were an expensive and useless gesture because he wouldn't wear his retainer after age 18 and they're crooked again), having his wisdom teeth out, (which resulted in actual surgery on his neck in a hospital to drain the abscesses which he got from not taking proper oral care after the removal) you'd think he'd brush and floss 3X a day just to avoid anyone else needing to do stuff to his teeth. But Nooooooo! Last time we got him to a dentist (over a year and a half ago) he was told about his bad oral hygiene...didn't help. I'm waiting for, "Mom, my teeth hurt! I need help!"