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...Aaaaand it just got worse
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 642675" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>Having been a guardian for someone with you daughters disabilities I think I am qualified to understand your unique challenges. If you daughter is so obsessed with technology that she is stealing over and over, maybe the answer is to give in for her desire to use technology but also to use it to protect her by using apps to block what you don't want her doing. If she wants to be on FB only allow approved friends and family to communicate with her and block the rest! Use privacy setting to prevent unknown others from contacting her. Allow her to have "friends" that are popular media people that she likes. Here is one app that helps keep control on FB: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SaintApp" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/SaintApp</a></p><p>Here is another for mobile applications: </p><p><a href="http://www.ikeepsafe.org/be-a-pro/privacy/protecting-your-kids-privacy-on-mobile-applications/" target="_blank">http://www.ikeepsafe.org/be-a-pro/privacy/protecting-your-kids-privacy-on-mobile-applications/</a></p><p>Individuals with intellectual disabilities (ID's) can get fixated on all sorts of things and in this case I don't think the issue is with her using it, but as you said controlling how she uses it. Many people with ID's have a very hard time communicating in appropriate ways, which now that I know more about your daughter I understand. My sister got a IPad and I do know that while she had her own money to pay for her's Medicare will pay for these devices - only it takes a while to get them approved. Once my sister had her she was able to get Speech Therapy paid for by Medicare/Medicaid to teach her how to use it. </p><p>There are all kinds of interesting things of a person with any kinds of disabilities to do safely on the internet - in your case you will just need to use the child type block to protect who/what she communicates with. </p><p>I think it can be very hard to deny a person with ID's something they are consistently focused on and it is extremely hard to control them once they are fixated on anything. </p><p>Since she is enrolled in a school for people with ID's I think you should working (TELLING THEM) with them on the safety feature and factors that she needs to use these devices in a safe way. I can say will almost complete certainty that nothing else you say or do, besides giving in on this issue will work - their brains are just wired that much differently than ours are, that they can not reason with anyone to not get their way. The job then as guardians of people with these disabilities is to allow them to do what they want to do within safe boundaries. </p><p>I do agree she should not be able to return to your home as she needs specialized care. Having said that, the moment she turns 18 I would have her sign a POA so that you do not have to go the costly guardianship route which involves lawyer and court fees whereas POA doesn't. You and husband will still be able to make decisions for her (where she will live, what happens with her etc.) with this in place. One thing I will warn you about is that if you do not stay on top of the people providing your daughters care, they will always tell you how it's going to be instead of it being YOU that TELLS them how it is going to be. They are being paid by the state (more than likely) and if not, either way, YOU (husband) or absolutely 100% in charge of telling them what your daughters needs are, and then they are paid to provide it. If you are not already in charge of what is going on with the programs your daughter is involved with, what she learns, you are already behind and need to get on top of the problem. Many people who have their children (even adult children) in some kind of state care think that once that happens they have no right to tell the organizations in charge what to do, that the school or organization has all the power and that couldn't be further from the truth. The reason being that if you want to move your daughter because YOU don't agree with the care or they are not following your instructions - you can move her with that money and the group telling you no will lose the funding for her and it will go to the next group that will follow your instructions. </p><p>Sorry this is so long but the "whole system" for people with ID's is a mess but I wanted you to know that YOU are in charge.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 642675, member: 18366"] Having been a guardian for someone with you daughters disabilities I think I am qualified to understand your unique challenges. If you daughter is so obsessed with technology that she is stealing over and over, maybe the answer is to give in for her desire to use technology but also to use it to protect her by using apps to block what you don't want her doing. If she wants to be on FB only allow approved friends and family to communicate with her and block the rest! Use privacy setting to prevent unknown others from contacting her. Allow her to have "friends" that are popular media people that she likes. Here is one app that helps keep control on FB: [url]https://www.facebook.com/SaintApp[/url] Here is another for mobile applications: [url]http://www.ikeepsafe.org/be-a-pro/privacy/protecting-your-kids-privacy-on-mobile-applications/[/url] Individuals with intellectual disabilities (ID's) can get fixated on all sorts of things and in this case I don't think the issue is with her using it, but as you said controlling how she uses it. Many people with ID's have a very hard time communicating in appropriate ways, which now that I know more about your daughter I understand. My sister got a IPad and I do know that while she had her own money to pay for her's Medicare will pay for these devices - only it takes a while to get them approved. Once my sister had her she was able to get Speech Therapy paid for by Medicare/Medicaid to teach her how to use it. There are all kinds of interesting things of a person with any kinds of disabilities to do safely on the internet - in your case you will just need to use the child type block to protect who/what she communicates with. I think it can be very hard to deny a person with ID's something they are consistently focused on and it is extremely hard to control them once they are fixated on anything. Since she is enrolled in a school for people with ID's I think you should working (TELLING THEM) with them on the safety feature and factors that she needs to use these devices in a safe way. I can say will almost complete certainty that nothing else you say or do, besides giving in on this issue will work - their brains are just wired that much differently than ours are, that they can not reason with anyone to not get their way. The job then as guardians of people with these disabilities is to allow them to do what they want to do within safe boundaries. I do agree she should not be able to return to your home as she needs specialized care. Having said that, the moment she turns 18 I would have her sign a POA so that you do not have to go the costly guardianship route which involves lawyer and court fees whereas POA doesn't. You and husband will still be able to make decisions for her (where she will live, what happens with her etc.) with this in place. One thing I will warn you about is that if you do not stay on top of the people providing your daughters care, they will always tell you how it's going to be instead of it being YOU that TELLS them how it is going to be. They are being paid by the state (more than likely) and if not, either way, YOU (husband) or absolutely 100% in charge of telling them what your daughters needs are, and then they are paid to provide it. If you are not already in charge of what is going on with the programs your daughter is involved with, what she learns, you are already behind and need to get on top of the problem. Many people who have their children (even adult children) in some kind of state care think that once that happens they have no right to tell the organizations in charge what to do, that the school or organization has all the power and that couldn't be further from the truth. The reason being that if you want to move your daughter because YOU don't agree with the care or they are not following your instructions - you can move her with that money and the group telling you no will lose the funding for her and it will go to the next group that will follow your instructions. Sorry this is so long but the "whole system" for people with ID's is a mess but I wanted you to know that YOU are in charge. [/QUOTE]
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